People afraid to show their cock..what is the deal?

[D_Cateryke Cheesysmell]

Clearly the answer is that all towel dancers all have genital warts/micropenis and are horribly embarassed.

Seriously though, I think the trend could be a result of the general sexualization of men...nobody used to think of dudes in the locker room in sexual terms. That's changed...partly with gay guys being more out, part has to do with the more general image of modern men. In extremely general terms, good looking men used to look debonair, suave and sophisticated. They did not have to be pretty. Now they have to pout like 16 year old girls and act all sexy-like, preferably to a heavy base beat.

Nothing necessarily wrong with either way, but both convey different messages; one of secure, less constantly sexual beings, and one less secure, and more intensely and frequently sexual. And as a result there exists the nagging thought in the back of the straight teen/twentysomething mind... "The archetype I see all the time is hyper-sexual, but wait, is that guy checking me out? Crap. Now what do I do?"

Or in a different mindset, "Social cues are telling me this situation is very sexual because there's so much nudity. Naked = sex, right? I see it that way every day. Sometimes there is sex without nudity, but never do I see nudity without sex. But it's all dudes here....must not get boner, must not get boner....."

As a result of that conflict we have increased homoeroticism in locker type situations among younger guys.... what used to be just "horseplay" (god, what a fuddy-duddy word....and so is fuddy-duddy) now has the potential for an uncomfortable sexual dimension...so you start to see phenomena like towel dancing (defense) or the "no homo" game (offense) cropping up just to try and diffuse the damn tension. That is why when someone actually points out that it's no big deal to just take a shower, people generally agree and get on with it, but if nobody does, the automatic defenses click on.

The ultimate result is that unless any action, including taking off your own pants in a bloody locker room, is predicated by some kind of homosexual behavior waiver, your terribly fragile masculinity will be damaged and everyone will automatically assume you are the biggest queen since perez hilton. (or at least that's what you think they'll do)

The unintended consequence is that guys, in an effort to prove their hyper-masculinity beyond question, engage in behavior that, to an outside observer....looks damned gay. (I'm so straight I can wear 4 neon pink polos, let my buddy shave my gooch, and get a pedicure every thursday.)

Whatever dude....

Is it insecurity? Is it confusion? Is it the simple desire for privacy? All of the above and probably more.
The trend is that men are being sexualized in a way they never have before... and the response of the younger generation is to act in a way they never have before lest they betray some outward sign of that sexualization in what to them seems like a deadly social faux pas.

It it still stupid? You bet.

 

[D_Cateryke Cheesysmell]

I hope that long-@$$ post made sense. Any help for your "trend" question Pecker?

 

[fanofme]

The towel users are just insecure, coming from personal exp i know thats the case.

When your handsome you aint caring what other people think about your penis, you just show it off and thats it. whos gives a shit, its just a bodypart.

and actully ive been to the dressings rooms alot lately and its always the same pricks who uses the towel. INSECURE MEN. mostly ugly to it seems to go hand in hand being ugly and insecure..

 

[B_Nick8]

Here's a new and interesting topic.

 

[invisibleman]

mr_unattractive[/B];2588909]Personally, I don't care about it unless I see someone gawking about trying to get a view. Then I will turn away or cover up or find a booth. Not into giving free jollies to pervs.

LOL
LOL
LOL

:biggrin1:

 

[rbkwp]

People afraid to show their cock..what is the deal?

Never seen a thread like this lpsg
WELCOME'
enz
reasons above/below
-possibly why you and i dont have Gallery Pics pdxman???

 

[D_Cateryke Cheesysmell]

rbkwp why are all your

posts arranged in a manner
that confuses
enz
the shit out of me
and is there a logic behind it?

 

[Pecker Check]

5_skin, thanks for theinteresting post. I think there's a lot to what you say about our society's having become more openly appreciative of male sexuality. A generation or two ago you wouldn't even have heard women confessing that it might be stimulating to see men naked in a locker room. If their attitudes have become more liberated....

Incidentally, I doubt that many of the guys who are uncomfortable showing their stuff are ipso facto ashamed of their stuff. I'd guess an (acquired) appreciation of modesty is more often at work. Whatever. I've just come from the gym and had the locker room to myself -- neither a looker nor a show-er in the shower.

 

[rbkwp]

after thoughts 5skin, afterthoughts
NO Logic in my posts...
we must not confuse new members
Please use the IGNORE button .. if it still exists
enz
no afterthoughts in this post .. btw ha

 

[cdarro]

Why do you care what someone else is or is not showing in the locker room? It's a free country and they can do what they want. Same as you are free to judge them and I am free to think you are wasting your mental energy by doing so.

Well said.

 

[TomCat84]

If you folks think this topic is overdone, you are certainly welcome to not post in it. Otherwise, you should STFU before you make yourselve look like catty Cathys

 

[mr_unattractive]

Thanks there 5skin, that was a very insightful post. Lots to think about there. You are probably onto something important about sexualization in our society in general. This is probably just one more aspect of something that is much bigger and seems quite corrosive.

 

[stanley9]

It's becoming more known that U.S. society is in a huge change toward becoming much more matriarchial economically. Women now purchase or influence the purchase of 80% of all goods and services. I think it is making more guys afraid to be 'guys'.

Just watch TV for a an hour. Try, just try, to see one commercial that doesn't portray the man in a negative light. Marketers, in an effort to sell to woman, have turned men into useful stooges. They can't find their way around and get lost (TurboTax - the wife sneers that 'even "he" can get a refund using turbotax), they don't understand how plug in room fresheners work (Glade Air fresheners - the husband jumps up and down and waves his arms in front of the the plug, thinking it is motion activated until the sneering wife wallks by a laughs at him saying the plug in is 'smart enough' to only go off every 30 minutes - this brought to you by SC Johnson, a Family' company, whatever that means), they are not allowed to rummage through their own refridgerator (Yoplait Low Cal yogurt - the wife, while talking on the phone about the yogurts, hears the husband looking through the fridge and reprimands him with a terse - 'Hon, what are you doing?", which results in his sheepish response for getting caught looking in his own fridge (the nerve!), they're too stupid to know what medical conditions can result from high cholesteral (drug commercial where the young daughter lectures the dumb oaf father about high cholesteral while using the internet to look up the drug facts), they're too stupid to know what questions to ask a finacial advisor about retirement (Fidelity - a wealthy looking middle age couple with their financial advisor, and the husband blurts out something about blowing all the hard earned money on a sports car, eliciting a sneering smirk from the wife), they're completely idiotic about the benefits of insurance (Progressive - a couple seeking insurance advise are handed a type of remote, where of course the husband reverts to an infantile state and treats it like a toy and the wife smirks 'good luck getting that away from him'). Then of course, there are the ever present Brinks Home Security ads that show men breaking into homes left and right. Sometimes right after being a guest in the same house. These are just a few examples off the top of my head.

The point is, men have become a safe target. Forty years of civil rights have ensured that all groups have political safe haven and are strictly hands off, except men. Apparently it okey doeky to smeer men, fathers, boyfriends etc. as jerks, idiots, morons, criminals, dorks and stooges. The blatant portrayal is so pervasive, guys growing up today are told through our media that there's no hope for them, be shamed.

Maybe this is why so many guys inthe lockerroom tend to be fearful of being, well, a guy.

 

[deleted3782]

As recently as a few years ago, the towel dancers bothered me. Not sure why. Maybe it was proof that they distrusted me...or maybe they weren't entirely comfortable around me. Maybe they were freaked out by me. Me, me, me!

Now, I realize, it's them. Maybe they aren't comfortable being naked. Maybe being naked, even for a few seconds, makes them feel exposed, vulnerable, or vulgar. Maybe they have a small dick, or what they think is a small dick, or what is - compared to yours - a small dick, and that just isn't something they want to reveal about themselves.

I have seen a towel dancer piss outside right in front if me, dick in view. He has bragged openly about having a huge dick. He even tells people that he doesn't care who sees him naked...but in reality he is very modest.

Guys today have to deal with a lot more peer pressure than they did a long time ago. They see the ads, the porn, the photo-shopped pictures...and they compare their own bodies with perfection (just as women have done for a long time). So...I don't care anymore about the towel dancers...they have their own issues, and I respect that. Towel dancing seems very inefficient and dorky...so I don't do it.

That said, lots of times I go into the locker room after working out and its just too full...and I grab my stuff and go home to shower. I just don't feel like being in a room full of sweaty naked guys. I can see both sides of the argument. They probably think the dudes that don't wear a towel and just get dressed without it are showoffs, clueless of boundaries, and disrespectful of others comfort level.

 

[workoutbud09]

To each their own.... so true. Personally, I think everyone is Bi to some extent, otherwise they wouldn't be looking to begin with... and as for LuvMensCocks comments, your so right... I can relate as well... being the only kid in grade school with red pubic hair...the comments came fast and furious...

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Yeah, I was scared in the seventh grade when we had to start showering for Phys Ed classes. Quickly got over it. I always thought I would show hard in the locker room. Never did in high school, though it has happened once or twice since.

I've seen plenty of small dicks in lockerrooms. Crap, they are often cold, drafty, you are sometimes wet and shivering. It's not like anyone expects you to show large flaccid in the lockerroom. You get in the shower to warm up.

Just seems like guys hiding it are getting the reverse of what they state they want by calling unwanted attention to themselves. So it is an incongruity that gets commented on here frequently.

 

[223790]

If you folks think this topic is overdone, you are certainly welcome to not post in it. Otherwise, you should STFU before you make yourselve look like catty Cathys

Well said TomCat84! This is a topic that I'm extremely interested in. It's the reason that I first came to this site, and the reason I return. The fact that this topic keeps on appearing and is commented on so extensively just goes to show that I'm not alone in thinking this new way of thinking and acting amongst the younger generation is messed up. While I think what they are doing is absurd, I'm certainly interested to hear why they do it. It's not like I'm going to walk up to a younger guy in the locker room, sauna or shower and asked him WTH his problem is!

I too get annoyed when people make declarations of what should and shouldn't be talked about. This was the exact reason why I left another website forum (Men's Health) that only had about 18 pages on this topic and was shut down because a female member (on a men's website) declared that there was enough talk about it, and complained to a spineless moderator about it. I have never returned to that site since. There are plenty of topics on this forum that I'm not intersted in (such as the long running debate about cut versus uncut), so I just ignore it and don't post in it. I certainly don't tell others that they should stop talking about it because it's obviously something they feel very strongly about, and that's cool with me. Too each their own!

 

[223790]

Back to the topic at hand:

This is something I witness every time I use my current athletic facilities at my university. It does bug me (sorry, but it does and that's how I feel) because I feel there are larger issues at stake. I have been on both sides of this issue, so I think I have a pretty clear perspective on it. Before my 20s, I used to avoid showing myself around other males because of my incredibly low self esteem and introverted nature. When the time came that I had to man up and use the open shower (because they were all open back then), I dropped the towel and my modesty and never looked back. It was such a feeling of confidence and liberation. It made me feel like one of the guys, and gave me a feeling of acceptance among men for the first time in my life. I never had a strong male role model in my life because my father was absent in my formative years, and my older brother went completely off the deep end - I still don't feel close to either of them to this day. I think that this was a large part of the problem I had with my self esteem and modesty issue around other males. I always felt unworthy and down on myself, especially around other men. That was over 20 years ago now, and I do think that this whole situation is symptomatic of a larger problem with young men being feminized (as I was by my single mom and sister) and being made to feel ashamed of having a dick and balls between their legs.

To this day, I prefer to use gyms that have open facilities rather than gyms that indulge this neurotic paranoia and sense of shame that young men seem to have today. I'm looking for a new gym this summer, and I'm planning to join the local YMCA. Why the YMCA? It's because I like their more relaxed and open atmosphere in the men's locker room. I prefer to be in an environment where men can be men and feel relaxed enough to be naked around each other. Their 18+ male locker room has a sauna, steam room, hot tub and open shower as well as a lounge with a TV in the locker room. Use of this locker room comes at a premium, so I would imagine that guys with a modesty problem would elect not to pay a premium to have access to facilities that they won't use. There are plenty of other gyms in town that indulge over modesty to the nth degree, so they are more likely to go there. I used to belong to one of those ultra privacy gyms, and I can tell you that I absolutely HATED the cold atmosphere there. In my experience, gyms that offer ultra privacy are also ultra cold and ultra unfriendly. I'm hoping at the Y, there will be guys like me who also enjoy non-sexual same gender communal nudity.

Cheers!

 

[223790]

I find the opposite is true. The towel dancers are the ones perving on me or looking down because I shower naked.

Exactly the same in my experience. The guys who check me out the most are the overly modest ones who towel dance and won't remove their towel until they are in a stall and the curtain is tightly closed. They also seem to take the stall closest to the Bradley shower tower that I'm using (after walking by 3-4 empty stalls to get to the one adjacent to where I'm showering in the open). It's cool with me though. I hope them seeing me being open and relaxed about it will influence them to do the same in the future. They can clearly see that I'm not getting hard, not jerking off and not being gang raped by other guys in the shower. I'm average size, so it's not like I have a porn star sized dick. Being 42, I have a good body for my age (and even a little better than some of the younger guys I see half of my age), but it's not like I had when I was in my 20s. I'm just your average guy. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, so I don't care if guys look. If they want to jerk off thinking about what they've seen later, I don't care. It's not like I'm there and being forced to participate. I never understand guys who claim they don't want to be seen nude because the guy might go home and jerk off to the memory later - who the hell cares? I've jerked off thinking about people that I've never seen completely naked before (usually the fantasy of what they're covering up is better than reality anyways).

 

[invisibleman]

Back to the topic at hand:

This is something I witness every time I use my current athletic facilities at my university. It does bug me (sorry, but it does and that's how I feel) because I feel there are larger issues at stake. I have been on both sides of this issue, so I think I have a pretty clear perspective on it. Before my 20s, I used to avoid showing myself around other males because of my incredibly low self esteem and introverted nature. When the time came that I had to man up and use the open shower (because they were all open back then), I dropped the towel and my modesty and never looked back. It was such a feeling of confidence and liberation. It made me feel like one of the guys, and gave me a feeling of acceptance among men for the first time in my life. I never had a strong male role model in my life because my father was absent in my formative years, and my older brother went completely off the deep end - I still don't feel close to either of them to this day. I think that this was a large part of the problem I had with my self esteem and modesty issue around other males. I always felt unworthy and down on myself, especially around other men. That was over 20 years ago now, and I do think that this whole situation is symptomatic of a larger problem with young men being feminized (as I was by my single mom and sister) and being made to feel ashamed of having a dick and balls between their legs.

To this day, I prefer to use gyms that have open facilities rather than gyms that indulge this neurotic paranoia and sense of shame that young men seem to have today. I'm looking for a new gym this summer, and I'm planning to join the local YMCA. Why the YMCA? It's because I like their more relaxed and open atmosphere in the men's locker room. I prefer to be in an environment where men can be men and feel relaxed enough to be naked around each other. Their 18+ male locker room has a sauna, steam room, hot tub and open shower as well as a lounge with a TV in the locker room. Use of this locker room comes at a premium, so I would imagine that guys with a modesty problem would elect not to pay a premium to have access to facilities that they won't use. There are plenty of other gyms in town that indulge over modesty to the nth degree, so they are more likely to go there. I used to belong to one of those ultra privacy gyms, and I can tell you that I absolutely HATED the cold atmosphere there. In my experience, gyms that offer ultra privacy are also ultra cold and ultra unfriendly. I'm hoping at the Y, there will be guys like me who also enjoy non-sexual same gender communal nudity.

Cheers!

Maybe there shouldn't be separate lockerrooms for men, women and children. Have everyone under one big ass showerhead.

Every home in America should have communal restrooms and take shits together. Get mom, dad, bro and sis sharing a shower together.