People are asking why.

[tgirlsrgreat]

Coming out is hard but surround your self with good friends and I am sure your family will love you no matter what.

who said anything about coming out?

 

[Justin87]

Yeah, having a girlfriend is overrated at times. I mean....don't get me wrong, being in love with someone is great and fine. I don't date just to have a girlfriend though. I would rather be single than be in a relationship just to be in one.

I have gone I think 4 years without one before and am glad I am single again now after a year in a relationship.


Let me tell you a Guy Fairy Tale:

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess "Will you marry me?"

The Princess said "No", and the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and fucked big titties broads and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard any bitching and never paid child support or alimony and ate pussy and fucked cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work and his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

-The End

 

[hbizzle]

Wait till you are in your 30's and it will get worse. My family is the same way, except my parents. I work in an odd line of work that takes me all over the country, and when I do work I work insane hours. My parents get that, the rest of my extended family do not.

 

[someperson]

They are probably the "If he isn't constantly dating a chick or married then he's gay" type. Don't mean that to sound too harsh, but unfortunately quite a bit of people are like that. Also, most people who are like that are really closet gay or bi themselves and that's their way of hiding it from the world.

One of the top reasons why people get into relationships nowadays (dating or marriage) is so that other people will think that they aren't gay or bisexual. They succumb to the idiotic societal pressure that is put on them. So, I think you are doing the right thing and not giving a damn.

You can choose who you want to date and when you want to date them. Just tell them that it's none of their business! :tongue:

Well it's not like I never kissed a female before that was many years ago when I was in my mid-teens.I even got to do some very intimate things too. I did enjoy it to. But did not take it too far though.

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

Relationships can be, and often are, fantastic. However they involve us in sacrifice, of time, money and commitment. They also involve us in a degree of vulnerability, emotionally and otherwise. Sharing aspects of our lives which would otherwise be private with another person requires a great deal of trust

Thank you seriously for reminding me why I have been single for 5 years and probably will be for much longer, perhaps forever.

 

[travis1985]

If someone asks you an invasive personal question that is none of their business and you answer it, you're entitled to ask one back and expect an answer. Questions about weight, true hair color, erectile dysfunction, and salary are usually good for getting the message across.

Just because they're a family member doesn't give them the right to pry into your private life once you're a self-supporting adult. They probably don't realize how tacky their behavior is, so take pity on them and call their attention to their indiscretion.

 

[upone]

Tell them you really prefer fucking sheep and they probably won't bug you any more.

Or tell them, "The guns aren't clean enough yet." That way you don't have to worry about pesky invitations.

 

[rbkwp]

Just because they're a family member doesn't give them the right to pry into your private life once you're a self-supporting adult. They probably don't realize how tacky their behavior is, so take pity on them and call their attention to their indiscretion.


Makes sense, Parenting and how they treat / mistreat there siblings has a LOT to do with all the woes of people these days i believe
Such hangups instilled on there kids, i can only imagine with some...
I am forever thankful my folk were basic gentle old fashinoned loving people,not tied up in all the hum drum of conforming to things that made the apperance of an accepted life,look so wonderful, perfect and just out of this world..

Sure as a Gay man i have never had the responsibilities of Parenting (well have had some experience) and all the dramas it obvioulsy entails, but hey hey, thats what i said in another post, if your lot in life is a M/F relationship and associated child bearing, it does NOT automatically make you a perfect couple, to bring up kids.

 

[Ed69]

@ Manly Banisters..

I bet you can count your friends on less than two fingers. What in the hell has life done to you? You sound like some bitchy old woman who is mad at the world. Then again that's not hard to see.

Get out.

Glad to know I'm not the only one too see this!

Fuck you. :smile:

Run with it!It's working for you!:biggrin1:

 

[Catharsis]

Seriously, without sounding rude or condescending, I don't know what we're supposed to do to help you.

Why is it you're not interested in a relationship? Do you have other goals, a la work, school, etc? If that's the case, tell them. That's pretty much all you can do. IF they don't understand, fuck them.

I think the OP was looking for advice on how to get his family members to stop bugging him about this. I think your answer is as good as it will come, or at least it was when you said, "Tell them."

Ever since I broke up with my ex three years ago, my family has been on my rear-end to getting another girlfriend. I say I'm not interested or looking for a relationship at the moment, and they (especially my grandparents) ask me, "Why not?"

Don't forget, they lived in a time when one usually married around my age, but the economy didn't absolutely force them to go to college in order to get by in life, either. They could get a decent job based on experience alone. A lot of things change and some people live in the past, abiding by ideals or traditions that they've followed for years and expect to be passed down.

Anyway, I've always just told them that I'm focusing on my education at the moment and I don't have the time to deal with other commitments. Whether or not this is the case for you, just tell them the truth. Explain it to them. They had better learn to deal with it because it's up to you if you want to be in a relationship or not.

 

[azbjbilly]

It's all about the whole breeding thing. You're SUPPOSED to marry, settle down, end your free life as you know it, have a sweet little wife in the suburbs who shits out 3 or 4 kids, be saddled with bills and an upside down mortgage, live for changing smelly diapers at 3:00AM.... all of this before you're 30.......

gawd am I glad I like COCK.............................

 

[D_Dick_Jagger]

Op, I empathize. In my case the differences are I am in my forties, gay, out, and my entire family knows. I am lucky to have had a supportive family on the sexuality front, especially with four brothers.

Unfortunately they all seem to think that I need to be in a relationship to be happy. I won't say that I wouldn't like one right now, but between working graveyard at the local emergency vet clinic, and ongoing schooling, I have very little time to truly give someone else. It would be fair to neither party.

The other difference is that I have explained this to them. Yes, the still make the same mistakes, and will ask. I politely remind them that I have gone over it with them before, am quiet happy (if tired), and for the ones who get to pushy, that I have a few very good fuck buddies, so they need not worry about that. The last part usually will silence the latter type.

 

[travis1985]

It's all about the whole breeding thing. You're SUPPOSED to marry, settle down, end your free life as you know it, have a sweet little wife in the suburbs who shits out 3 or 4 kids, be saddled with bills and an upside down mortgage, live for changing smelly diapers at 3:00AM.... all of this before you're 30.......

gawd am I glad I like COCK.............................

I don't think that's necessarily what it is. We're a few generations into the trend of delaying marriage, and the proverbial white picket fence is well-known as just a cliche that no one really expects everyone to have. Based on my experience as an unmarried man in his late 20's, it's not so much that the family is trying to get him to conform to a lifestyle that barely anyone lives anymore in the first place. It's more likely to be about trying to reach out to him but not having much to really talk about. (Remember the summer after high school when you had to explain to every fucking adult you knew what college you were going to, where it was, what you would be studying, etc.? It's not that most of them were pressuring you to study accounting, it's that it was a topic for conversation they figured would be good for a 10-minute chat.) They know it's rude to pry into this aspect of people's lives, but their notion of him as their grandson, nephew, etc. makes them forget that they should mind their own business. (Though I will temper this by emphasizing what I implied earlier, that a young adult isn't entitled to the privacy and discretion of an adult until they're on their own. If you're still living off the family, Grandma is free to continue asking about your dates just like she did at homecoming.)

 

[Catchoftheday]

I getting a little annoyed that family members are asking why I do not have a girlfriend. Because Right now I am not interested in getting one or having one. THey have been hounding me on and off for the last few years. They started doing they 5-6 years ago.
23 now.

Why?

I mean why are your family asking you why you haven't got a girlfriend, maybe it's because they care? Caring is a good thing isn't it?

 

[helgaleena]

I use to get hounded all the time by my extended family on this issue.

It is what I hated most about the holiday's.

Try telling them you have a hooker that you hook up with every month and she please you just find now -- you don't have time for a girl friend. Then tell them you just want money for X-Mas, Birthdays, &c.

That's so crazy it just might work! :rofl:

For straight guys too.

Tell them too, you take reducing world overpopulation VERY seriously.

 

[aninnymouse]

Why?

I mean why are your family asking you why you haven't got a girlfriend, maybe it's because they care? Caring is a good thing isn't it?

It's a difference between asking because they care, and hounding someone. I think the OP is starting to feel hounded. That's not a good thing.

 

[Smaccoms]

I getting a little annoyed that family members are asking why I do not have a girlfriend. Because Right now I am not interested in getting one or having one. THey have been hounding me on and off for the last few years. They started doing they 5-6 years ago.
23 now.

Without proper communications channels set up, family member can quite often come off as, for lack of a better phrase, "fucking assholes". First and foremost you should recognize that they are putting so much continual effort into it because they love you.

Next, I would attempt to work through any unresolved feelings/thoughts that may prevent you from solving the issue from a direct confrontation. If you don't know why you angry with them or embarrassed about something, the issue will have a higher chance of not resolving. It can be a long and difficult process. For example, I'm upset with my sister for not respecting me as an individual. That statement packs a real punch!

After this I would attempt to confront them about it in a civil manner. With bad channels of communication, the love of a mother could come off as hateful. If the ones who loves you do not know how to converse with you about your life so as to be to YOUR benefit and NOT theirs, than that is definitely a problem. They could have issues of their own clouding their judgement. If you confront with with your issues worked out in a civil manner, this could help to expose their issues. This is a situation where knowledge is power; being aware of your families issues as well as your own is a huge advantage. This is the first step in solving and working past these issues. If nothing else, it gives a new and different venue for conversation.

Above all, I would take care to remember a romantic relationship does not cause one to go from unhappy to happy. This is hard to keep in mind because society is convinced of it as a whole. It is important to be balanced and content/happy with oneself as an individual. Healthy relationships are fruit of such a self image. We enter this world alone, and leave it alone. If we are not content or happy with who we are as individuals, then depression will constantly chase you throughout your life.
In Short, a romantic relationship makes you happIER, not happy. It is the cherry on top of the cake, not the cake itself. As we are in our young twenties, we are still batter, not yet cake. A healthy, long-term, romantic relationship is not going to be common during this time in most peoples' lives (imo).

I am only trying to help, and I sincerely hope it does. If you have any other questions or thoughts, just shoot me a message!

 

[someperson]

I just checked my email today and they went as far as signing me up for a dating site

 

[travis1985]

In that case, maybe I was too generous and they are just busybodies who can't let you live your own life. I would tell them to cut the crap or be cut out themselves, and stick to it.

 

[Infernal]

I started telling my family that I was perfectly happy, and that I was doing what I want, with who I wanted, and beyond that it wasn't open for discussion. They didn't need to know I was single with a handful of fuck buddies. It worked for me at the time and that's all that mattered.