People at work

[Scorpiorising]

I'm irked.
I am one of many independent business persons in a small facility. I work as a massage therapist. Let me start by saying that I had to learn a great deal about the human body-anatomy, kinesiology, myology, pathology, and of course massage. I am also the on-site yoga instructor (I have 14 years experience).

Anyway, I just finished teaching a yoga class and found L, as we will call her, talking to a former student of mine. L is a reiki practitioner. My former student was explaining that she was out due to a torn rotator cuff she had suffered two months ago. She was in physical therapy. Of course, I told her that I could help her with massage and asked which muscle exactly she had injured. She didn't know, so I wanted to assess her range of motion and was in the midst of asking her to lift her arm when L started saying, 'No, don't make her do that. That's not a good idea.'

Long story short. After my former student left, I took L aside to explain that I was doing what was in the scope of my practice and that she was NOT to demean my judgement in front of a client again. I mean, REALLY. I didn't go through a gruelling course in school and get straight A's to be supervised by some energy worker that is completely untrained in my field. Yes, I'm a pissed off yoga instructor. Apparently, she is very angered with me and doesn't want to let it go, but I also refuse to let up on my ground.

Anyone else have to deal with this kind of crap? How do you deal with it?

 

[ClaireTalon]

That's more familiar to me than you might think. A lot of people, ranking Major upwards, have tried to push me around or to discredit my professional judgement. Just good that it's called Air Force and not Ground Force, and the pilots have the power :tongue:.

Well, back on the subject. What did you do or say after she explained that she didn't find it a good idea to assess the motion range manually? I guess that wasn't the end of the story. If I was in your place, I wouldn't even have gotten close to start any drama, I would just have asked her to leave your therapy area and mind her own business. What was she doing there anyways during an exam? And then I would have continued to conduct the examination of your patient.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

Its completely reasonable for you to clearly and calmly describe to L why you don't want your judgement questioned and to ask that she not do so again. Its more likely your request will be honored if L recieves it as a request rather than a demand. What she does afterwards is up to her.

As for me, I encountered a similar situation last year when an inexperienced rookie under my supervision began deviating from agency policy (and common sense) by spouting off poorly reasoned nonsense and personal opinion in response to a question during an important briefing. I just cringed. It got so bad I finally had to interrupt the rookie's monologue and, in front of everyone at the briefing, remind her about sticking only to the material within our area of expertise.

To my utter surprise and annoyance, the rookie fixed me with a sour glare, ignored my warning, and kept right on spewing opinion that defied my 22 years of experience to the contrary. My temperature went up really fast at this dis from a wet-behind-the-ears noob but somehow I kept my cool and didn't explode. Afterwards I took her aside and clearly spelled out the consequences of deviating from policy with personal opinion. Despite temptation otherwise, I didn't yell, I didn't threaten, I only stuck to pointing out that we must always stay only within our areas of expertise or risk confusing our customers with mixed, inaccurate messages.

 

[Scorpiorising]

Well, back on the subject. What did you do or say after she explained that she didn't find it a good idea to assess the motion range manually? I guess that wasn't the end of the story. If I was in your place, I wouldn't even have gotten close to start any drama, I would just have asked her to leave your therapy area and mind her own business. What was she doing there anyways during an exam? And then I would have continued to conduct the examination of your patient.

In the midst of the situation, when she was saying "no, no" I simply ignored her and continued assessing. The assessment wasn't manual but what is called an assessment of active Range of Motion where you see what the client is able to do without assistance. The student was not recieving therapy at the time; I was merely conducting a quick assessment to see if I my services would be helpful to her in any manner. I couldn't work on her then and there, anyway, because I would need a note from her physician. But, what I did was totally within the scope of my practice and not in anyway harmful to a potential client.

Its completely reasonable for you to clearly and calmly describe to L why you don't want your judgement questioned and to ask that she not do so again. Its more likely your request will be honored if L recieves it as a request rather than a demand. What she does afterwards is up to her.

I was quite firm and assertive when discussing with L my stance on the situation, but did not raise my voice or show any anger. I have to admit, I did not phrase it as a request, but made sure to let her know I understood her concern however, she should trust my professional decisions. I tried to make it a discussion between business persons, however she took the stance of 'how dare you tell ME . . .', which made me feel she was trying to put me in the role of subordinate. There are no subordinates in this work environment as we are independent. I'm sure there will be a discussion with the owner, today, and should he decide she is correct in supervising me, I will be taking my business elsewhere. Frankly, if I wanted an unqualified person supervising my educated decisions I would go work at a day spa.

BTW, I woke up this morning still pissed about this. Mostly because this is not the first run in I've had with her.

 

[Osiris]

Sounds like what you are more having is a conflict of personality with this person. I know all to well how that goes.

Anytime you have to do anything like that, you can remove yourself from her "sphere of influence". Example:

When the student had told you about the problem, you could say "Let's go over here and see if we can't figure out what's wrong." If the other lady follows, you then have the ground to say "Excuse me, I am with a client."

This other woman has a chip on her shoulder about you which is why she is going to push your buttons. You can't win against this person. At least not this way. I would guess she is trying to make you mad. Don't let her. She is nothing to you in the grand scheme. Find your peace and ignore her as much as you can.

Probably not my best advice, but it's worked for me.

 

[Scorpiorising]

I think your advice is very good, Orsiris. Thanks for responding.

 

[Osiris]

I think your advice is very good, Orsiris. Thanks for responding.

Anytime. Good luck with the situation. I'm sure yor inner peacemaker will guide you.:smile:

 

[b.c.]

One would think those of us in the so called "independent" fields (whether it be sales or services) wouldn't have to deal with personality conflicts with other "agents".

Unfortunately the actions of such people can sometimes result in raising doubts about your expertise and integrity. It could even cost you a client.

You told her right.

 

[Scorpiorising]

Thank you B.C. I have to admit, regardless of being a rather independent and strong personality, I did post this subject to get a little support as it's hard to always be certain that our assertions are correct. If I didn't feel my assertion was correct, I would certainly apologize, but with this, I see no chance of that.

I'm actually speaking to a surgeon friend of mine who is being quite supportive and confirmed that she was quite rude and unprofessional in her conduct. I think the worst part of the whole thing is that what was a generally nice environment may now become a little uncomfortable if she decides to hold a grudge against me on this. But, that's her own unfortunate issue.

 

[Mem]

This is no longer about the argument, you have to decide what will be your relationship with "L".

Some of you may find this hard to believe, But I am very well liked and I get along with almost everyone.

Like everyone else I have had problems with co-workers. Here is how I handled some situations.

One young lady had a problem with me and some other noobies at work. I think we had gotten along well at first but something made the animosity show up on both ends. One day I went up to her and said "look, we have to work together, we don't have to like each other, but I think it would be best if we were civil with each other." That worked amazingly and we became friends.

I tried the same approach with another co-worker at a different place, but he was stubborn and wanted to hold a grudge.

I had another co-worker get upset with me and he would not speak to me for quite a long time...luckily we didn't work together very often. After a while it passed and we now get along.

I've also had a problem once with a co-worker almost to the point of violence. I didn't speak to him for a short while, but I let it pass. I am a forgiving person and do not hold a grudge. I understand that this guy can be a nice guy, but as a co-worker he in usually miserable.

Sometimes you have to ignore people's faults and realize that they will never change...you just try to have as little interaction with them as possible.

Sometimes the best thing to do is let time pass and it will work itself out.

 

[Scorpiorising]

. One day I went up to her and said "look, we have to work together, we don't have to like each other, but I think it would be best if we were civil with each other." That worked amazingly and we bacame friends.

This is a very good approach, and I have used it in the past, and plan to use it at some point. I'm not going to be quick to rectify the issue, however. I'm not going to torment her. I know it sounds wierd, but I think if the tension holds out for a while (on her part, of course) she will understand that I am completely serious about this. I am not about animosity in the work place. I hate it. But, I am about strategy. Furthermore, I would like for us to be friends. I'm not going to hold a grudge against her. I'm just going to continue to work in a very happy mood.

 

[B_hakingsley]

Anyway, I just finished teaching a yoga class and found L, as we will call her, talking to a former student of mine. L is a reiki practitioner. My former student was explaining that she was out due to a torn rotator cuff she had suffered two months ago. She was in physical therapy. Of course, I told her that I could help her with massage and asked which muscle exactly she had injured. She didn't know, so I wanted to assess her range of motion and was in the midst of asking her to lift her arm when L started saying, 'No, don't make her do that. That's not a good idea.'

Let's see - here's what appears to have happened:

1) L talking to woman with torn rotator cuff

2) You inject yourself into the situation

3) Despite the fact that woman is currently receiving physical therapy, and despite the fact that woman didn't ask for an assessment, you start telling her to move her arm around so you can assess her injury.

4) L takes offense, tells you in so many words to step off.

Sounds to me like you had it coming. This is the sort of thing that tells me I'm right in only going to medical professionals who know what they're doing when I have a problem.

My advice is that you drop it with L and check yourself.

 

[simcha]

hakingsley,

Yeah, I read it the same way you did and had to re-read the OP several times to see if I was missing something. It sounds like the reiki woman was with a client and Scorpiorising injected himself into the conversation. If I were that Reiki woman I would think you were taking a customer away from me.

It seems like you have a very well developed ego, Scorpiorising. I respect that you got licensed as a massage therapist. It seems that you still have something to learn about business etiquette. How would you have felt if you were talking to the student first and the Reiki woman came over to assess the client? Wouldn't you feel that she was taking your client away?

 

[dreamer20]

I'm irked.
I am a massage therapist. I am also the on-site yoga instructor.
L is a reiki practitioner.
A former student was explaining that she was out due to a torn rotator cuff she had suffered two months ago. She was in physical therapy. Of course, I told her that I could help her with massage and asked which muscle exactly she had injured. She didn't know, so I wanted to assess her range of motion and was in the midst of asking her to lift her arm when L started saying, 'No, don't make her do that. That's not a good idea.'

Anyone else have to deal with this kind of crap? How do you deal with it?

The reiki practitioner was there first and I understand why she was disturbed by your behaviour. You inserted yourself into their discussion. Then you wanted this person with an unknown injury move her arm about although you might aggravate her condition and/or cause her pain. I would have expected you to leave well enough alone as the woman was already under the care of a physiotherapist.

If it were me I would have stated "If you want to consult me for therapy Mrs. X I'll be happy to see you today or we could set up an appointment at a convenient time for you." The rest would be up to her. I would do no assessment of a client/ patient without them first agreeing to have a consultation and that would occur in a consulting room.