People think you're gay but you're not

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Cannibal Lecter, May 10, 2006.

  1. Cannibal Lecter

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    So I'm probably not the only person on here but has anyone ever had people think they are gay (or had gay guys hit on them) but you're not?

    Honestly I've turned down more dick in my life than I have tail and at times it is really quite disconcerting. I mean, back when I was in the United States I'd have guys stop me on the street thinking that I was a male prostitutue (I would just be out walking) or I'd be out at a club or getting coffee or wherever and I'd have guys just hit on me HARD. I remember once I went to a private birthday party for a friend of a friend (my best friend, a female dj, had invited me to a party of a gay friend of her's) and I recall at one point that I was sitting at a table SURROUNDED by like six gay guys who were hanging on my every word and totally captivated by me. I've even had guys offer to take nude photos of me as well as going home to fuck their wife while they watched. I mean what's up with that?!

    I am pretty good looking (5'11, black hair, brown eyes, athletic build and all the girls I've slept with tell me I'm hung) plus I work out 6 days a week and dress very well compared to most guys. I just wonder what it is about my character that leads people to think that I'm gay. Anybody else had any problems like this? Any thoughts?
     
  2. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    You have any idea what those character traits might be?

    As acceptable as I think it is for men to take care of their bodies, to be better self-groomers, to care about their appearances, to shop, to treat themselves to manicures, to stay at home and take care of the children while the wife works, and so on, I think it's still one big confusing mess. It's already hard enough to feel like a guy and take part in once traditionally feminine activities. You've really got to have a solid sense of self to do it. So, assuming that everybody else isn't as secure or well put together as you, just chalk it up to their lack of knowing better.

    I'm not asking you to revert to flannels, to go unshaven, and to belch beer.

    I think it's a tradeoff. If you want to be a new age sort of man, you have to accept to some degree that people are going to mistake you for being gay. It's not your fault. You may or may not be doing anything to contribute to the assumption, but you can't take other people's opinions too seriously. As long as you know who you're into, it's alright.

    To share in your pain, I think any guy who just doesn't look like that typical macho type gets ribbed to one degree or another. Maybe it's a counter-cultural thing. Maybe that since men are allowed to be a little more girly, to those who don't agree with that changing standard, maybe they feel vindicated by being that much more insensitive toward men who like the changing trend. That's kinda shitty, but what can ya do?

    Can any of your other male friends sympathize? Ask them what they think and how they react. Either that, or hit up the basketball court, a sports game, or a pub for a game of darts. It might "mellow" you out a bit to be in a more comfortable setting. And, for the love of God, don't drink a Cosmopolitan. Ok? :tongue:
     
  3. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    I've had other women flirt with me before:tongue: I usually flirted back:tongue: :wink: But I think it's a touchier subject for a straight man though,I believe all women have a naturally flexible sexuality anyway:tongue:
     
  4. Gisella

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    If i'm not confuse is something related with a gay radar or anthen ...

    there is another post about it somewhere explaining it...
     
  5. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    people often assume that i'm heterosexual simply because i'm ugly
     
  6. kwc4you2003

    kwc4you2003 New Member

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    This may sound strange coming from a guy that claims "100% percent straight" but if your comfortable with your sexuality then use it to your advantage. Just like a girl can bend and twist guys to do what they want by flirting with them, so can you.
    I have gotten into 2 movies for free just by flirting with a guy i knew in high school. I've even gotten a free meal at a resturant while with my exgf because the waiter was hitting on me. Only bad thing is all the people in my hometown think i'm bi. But i know i'm not so it doesnt bother me.
     
  7. Shelby

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    Sounds like me.
     
  8. rawbone8

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    Mother admonishing child:

    Please don't point at that poor man. He can't help it if he looks exceptionally heterosexual.

    :rolleyes:
     
  9. Cannibal Lecter

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    That's hilarious lol.

    No I couldn't take advantage of guys that are hitting on me. Yeah I know chicks do it all the time but I'd just feel a little too manipulative if I did something like that. Plus I'd be leading these poor gents on. Why let them entertain the notion of getting with me when they'd be better off moving on to some other guy.
     
  10. Joseph

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    since the beginning of my school life
    <spitting into my hair, getting beat up and stuff>
    I was always treated as gay

    Possibly, because I was the "innocent little boy" and possibly because of the fact I wasn't the type to talk about sex too much and didnt know much about it as a little kid (ahhh those times... everyone im class thought during elementary school that you can get pregnant by a kiss hehe).

    But the propably greatest reason was that when a lot of ym friends switched schools, only one of ym friends was left in the class, so I was hanging out with him a lot since I had noone else to talk to. And because he was a looser too, the thought of us being gay was natural. Damm why him?

    This is weird... during a school trip we were in a 6 person room (3 beds with those ladders). The guy that was sleeping above me (one of those bullys) was using the fact that the bed was old to make some annoying noises to not let us sleep. After 2 minutes of those annoying sqeueks in the dark dark room he finally stopped and I did something stupid, I said "ahhhhhhhhh", of course everybody started to laugh out loud... I wanted to tell them later that noise of pleasure was sopose to be "peace at last", but they found it so funny. And since that moment, nobody in that class called me gay.

    Weird eh? For stupid reasons they called me gay. When I did something gay-like they all were sure im straight....
     
  11. visceraltuning

    visceraltuning New Member

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    Just about everything listed above is sure to set off somebody's gaydar at least once in a while

    That 10% gay you are sporting can go a long way in throwing people off, especially in this world where sexuality is primarily viewed as categorically all or nothing rather than dimensional.

    I can identify. I set off people's gaydar although I have never actually partipated in anything anal or oral and have no desire to even try it.
     
  12. playainda336

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    Actually, I know the feeling. I don't understand myself why other people hit on me and I always turn 'em down. I think it's cause I'm too nice or something. *shrugs*
     
  13. AMikkell

    AMikkell New Member

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    I have never been hit on by men, probably because I'm not that attractive, but I have been asked outright by a number of people over the years if I am gay. It's probably because my behavior isn't that normal. I like to hug people, guys, girls, people I just meet. I also like to say flowery things, the types of things one reads in a romance novel or in old tales of chivalry, because I find it to be fun.

    I don't think that it has anything to do with how you look, it's just about being different from the stereotype of the straight man.
     
  14. rob_just_rob

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    I used to get a lot of come-ons from gay men when I was younger, and it still happens occasionally - generally in club settings where everyone is getting hit on, though.
     
  15. Mr. Snakey

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    :confused: I dont care what other people think!
     
  16. B_IanTheTall

    B_IanTheTall New Member

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    Every time I hear this comment I'm reminded of a episode of Just Shoot Me, Steve Valentine played magician animal trainer The Amazing Zigmund (now Dr. Nigel Townsend, on Crossing Jordan) is thought to be. When he is told this his reaction is, "I'm not gay, I'm British." I think many Americans have a hard time telling the difference between foreign, meaning not themselves even from a different part of the USA, and someone being gay.

    I remember, during high school, riding my bicycle to a friend's house. I was stopped at a red light and a Buick, driven by an older couple stopped next to me; I looked over at them (always a mistake). She then yells, "Where do you think you are, California?" Her husband then yelled, at her, "Honey, don't talk to him, he's probably gay." Luckily the light turned green then, I beat them through the intersection. This may have pissed him off because shortly after that they "roared" past me almost clipping me with there mirror. This all happened in central Ohio and I already knew that I was bi, which I almost yelled back at them.
     
  17. B_IanTheTall

    B_IanTheTall New Member

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    It's like actors, only straight mainstream actors can play a gay character. Gay actors joins the Church of the Holy Mind Fuck, spend there time shooting the same boring action figure, and suing people that say they are gay. Insecure, deceptive, self loathing wackos are so unsexy.
     
  18. sometimesomewhere

    sometimesomewhere New Member

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    well, keep in mind, that was central Ohio.

    why does being from California make you gay? that's another question... it's like saying that everyone that's a vegetarian loves animals. or everyone that's white owns slaves.

    and i'm supprised that they didn't try to hit you with thier car. that always seems to happen to me when i ride my bicycle.
     
  19. playainda336

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    You weren't hinting on anyone in particular were you? lol :biggrin1:
     
  20. ChuckRich

    ChuckRich New Member

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    Also, it's not necessarily that the guys that hit on you always think that you are gay, just that the only way for them to really find out is to give it a shot. The difference is when you tell the gay you're straight is their reaction "Oh, no offense meant" or "Honey please, I can see your flame burning from a mile away". LOL
     
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