people who don't have sex.

ShannonH

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Wow, I'm really surprised at how many people here are celibate or have gone without for so long. I really have to work at getting turned on in my relationship. Sometimes I wish he was asexual. Am I interpreting asexual incorrectly? Someone who doesn't want/need sex regularly?

If you're really horny when you're single, then it's not like you have a physiologically low sex-drive. Getting turned on should never be work -- it's just something you let happen.

My girlfriend actually sounds very similar to you. When I'm climbing-up-the-walls horny and constantly trying to have sex with her, she loses interest. When I act disinterested (and it's really just an act.. I want her all the time) she just boils over and absolutely needs to get laid. You could just ask if he can act a little more distant, and you may find yourself wanting it more the less you take it for granted.
 

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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at the risk of ruining my "hotness" reputation, I'm going to say I can relate to dolfe....with the exception that I am married and have been for over half my life to the same guy.

There have been times...sometimes several months go by....that we do not have intercourse, or even oral sex. The hugs and snuggles are always there. But there seems to be a 'sex switch' that is either on "HIGH" volume.. or "OFF" ...

There are lots of things that enter our lives, because we are complex creatures, and sometimes sex goes on the back burner....sometimes there are issues that take precedence and the brain is working overtime dealing with "such is life" issues....sex seems to be a real effort.

Have said that.... I love sex. And I think about it often...but there are times that it is non-existent... I don't think that is a terrible thing...

Because when we get time for it....Boy Howdy~~ Lookout~:biggrin1:
 

D_HarryFrenum

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I've tried to have blow jobs before, there's plenty of people who have tried. I just can't let myself do it. It's just morally wrong so I end up coming up with some excuse on why I can't let this guy come up to my room, or why I have to leave his room...
 

helgaleena

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I am going to chime in on my refrain once again-- Masturbation IS SEX! Any combination of stimuli that leads to orgasm is SEX! and the safest sex it the sex you have with only one person, yourself!

The moment you introduce a second person, a partner, you risk disappointment at best and life-threatening consequences such as pregnancy and disease, at worst. But the risks are worth it because pleasure is increased exponentially when shared. To reduce the risk of disease, if not disappointment, Helga recommends cyber-sex via text, cam, or telephone. But the human organism craves touch. It's absolutely astounding how much we are willing to risk to achieve it.

Simply had to sound off about this huge misconception about what constitutes a sexual activity, and also how this greatly increases the actual frequency of people having sex.
 

dolfette

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I am going to chime in on my refrain once again-- Masturbation IS SEX! Any combination of stimuli that leads to orgasm is SEX! and the safest sex it the sex you have with only one person, yourself!
that's your definition.
it's not mine.
sexual activity is not the same as having sex.
 

tgirlsrgreat

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I've tried to have blow jobs before, there's plenty of people who have tried. I just can't let myself do it. It's just morally wrong so I end up coming up with some excuse on why I can't let this guy come up to my room, or why I have to leave his room...
sorry, i don't get it, you find that morally wrong?? what about posting cock pics all over the internet?? how does that stack up? just asking
 

dolfette

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I am going to chime in on my refrain once again-- Masturbation IS SEX! Any combination of stimuli that leads to orgasm is SEX! and the safest sex it the sex you have with only one person, yourself!
every dictionary i've googled so far agrees with me.
''having sex'' does not include wanking.
 

D_Joseba_Guntertwat

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I've always put it down to the way I was raised. Both of my parents were, as I was growing up, rather against the concept of Gender. I was raised to believe that you should treat people as equals, regardless of gender, and that is what I do.

That's pretty fucked up, if you'll excuse me being rude for a second. It's certainly true that in many areas of our lives gender shouldn't be important - for example, in the eyes of the law, or anywhere else where discrimination can be a problem.
But when it comes down to basic physical attraction, love and relationships, then men and women are quite different and the differences are important!

To return to the main topic, I haven't had sex for over a year - and although memories of the amazing sex I had last summer are good, it's never as good as the real thing. Sometimes I masturbate as much as 10 times a day.
Been close to getting some no-strings action recently but I'd much rather be in a relationship, and unfortunately that's a lot more difficult to find.
 

Stiles

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If you masturbate for the pleasure, you're not really celibate. The origins of celibacy is religious and monks and priests abstained from any sexual release. You can redefine it to mean not having sexual relations with another if you like, but masturbation for pleasure is still sex.

To return to the main topic, I haven't had sex for over a year - and although memories of the amazing sex I had last summer are good, it's never as good as the real thing. Sometimes I masturbate as much as 10 times a day.
Been close to getting some no-strings action recently but I'd much rather be in a relationship, and unfortunately that's a lot more difficult to find.

I'm in much the same boat. It's been almost two years since I've been with a woman and I masturbate A LOT! I've thought about seeking professional assistance but I don't know if I could do that. I don't have any moral objections to prostitution but I don't know if I would enjoy sex with a complete stranger who wasn't really into me for me. I think I'd rather just masturbate.
 
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dolfette

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i have not described myself as celibate,
i have said that i've not had sex.
and i haven't.

being an atheist,
your religious definition means shite to me.
 

Stiles

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i have not described myself as celibate,
i have said that i've not had sex.
and i haven't.

Who says I was addressing you?

being an atheist,
your religious definition means shite to me.

I'm an atheist too. Doesn't mean the definition is incorrect. A celibate person traditional abstains from all sexual release.
 

Stiles

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I'm not sure what your problem is friend, but if you wish to call me stupid, don't hide behind innuendo. Just say it.
 

dolfette

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well there's a leap of paranoia!

i was illustrating how traditional meanings do not stay the accepted meaning forever. it's not an innuendo to point out how far the meaning of one of our most commonly used words has changed.
middle english, nice was a word meaning stupid.
modern english, nice is a word meaning pleasant.
that's not an innuendo, that's a fact.
 

Stiles

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well there's a leap of paranoia!
Wow, you really are an aggressive little twat aren't you. Interesting that you chose that particular example though isn't it. Is this a old user vs. new user thing that I'm not getting? Razzing the new guy? Have I interloped into your territory? Should I expect a troop of chimps to descend on me with rocks and sticks? :poke:

Yes, language changes over time. Are we now going to have an etymology-off? It's a simple enough concept. Celibacy = no sex. Sex can be solo or with partner(s). We good now? Do you want the last word? Because you can have it if you like.
 
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D_Lee_Iacuckold

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im not into sex either. i mean in theory its great, but in practice, ehh. my sex drive only seems to come during the summer, and even then, i rarely act on it. but, maybe like others here, i havent met the person that'll excite me enough.
 
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Me too, Dolf.

I'm lazy when it comes to sex, and I need my own space. Lots of it. For long periods of time, lol. :p