Yes we respond to reinforcement. But we're all getting a mix of positive and negative reinforcement all the time. And confidence in one area can and does spill over for many people into other areas. Why else does Nossa exist? They have the confidence to effect change. If they truly despaired they wouldn't try - after all, they're just reading the temperature of the culture right? For that matter your save-the-small-height men would be doomed too.
And you're the first person ever I've seen to claim that dogs know that they know. I guess we need to start holding dogs to high moral standards. That pit bull attacking and slaughtering smaller dogs knows he acted evil.
But really...what has anything about short-heighted men got to do with the original question? Why do you keep dragging in examples that don't pertain exactly and specifically to the OPs question? Short height is a tangent no matter how you spin it since it's about short-height. Not dicks...which is what the original OP was questioning about.
I'm just putting out an example. Sometimes you have to look at a seemingly unrelated matter to find the parallel themes.
That cop who was in the Army, capable and all that, still had strong motivations for suicide based on how he was treated because of his height.
And it's a balancing scale. If you receive predominately one type of reinforcement over the other that predominant type will be predominant. EVERYBODY may not down you. You may get neutral response most likely. But it's the sum of experiences and the strength and context of those experiences which color you.
Let me tell you why NOSSA and every other support group exists.
COMMUNITY. Knowing you're not alone helps you feel a little better.
I've exampled the stages of overcoming a complex at Measurection as I continue to figure out how to TRULY eradicate any semblance of self-image problems permanently.
First step is COMMUNITY. Find those like you. A bunch of weaklings together will eventually become strength. Those in pain, those marginalized gather together to create collective strength. Without community it's very hard to pull yourself out of situations where you lack confidence.
Second step is EDUCATION. A step usually underutilized and undersupported. This is where I'm working the most by finding concrete practical solutions for marginalized groups. Stuff that can be listed in 1-2-3 steps and followed with an end result. Not just platitudes and well-wishes which COMMUNITY provide. That helps but it tends to leave people struggling with their self-image on step one, Community, alone never really progressing. With proper knowledge (reality set to problem-solve in solution) a person can build more condfidence.
Third step is ROLE MODELS. Seeing yourself OUTSIDE of yourself. A person LIKE you who succeeds based on their essence rather than in spite of it. Remember the examples I put down about black people with Ebony & Jet magazine? The Cosby Show? Media means centers, go-betweens, in-betweens, middles. Media is not just magazines, TV, movies, newspapers. It's anything that transmits a message from one source to another. The sources are the endposts and media is in-between them as the transmitter. Air is media, water is media, message boards are media, paintings/drawings are media, peers are media, family is media, friends are media, enemies are media, music is media. Anything, anything that transmits a message. Small-penised men get
knocked everytime the song "Short Dick Man" plays in the club with people laughing and dancing to it. Mainstream pornography
boosts large-penised men with people celebrating and cheering the images.
The character Wolverine from the X-Men was originally envisioned as a guy about 5' 3" and drawn as such. The movie hired a 6' 2" guy (Hugh Jackman) to play this role of a short superhero. Imagine if they had the guts to place a short man in that role. Imagine how it could have boosted the confidence of short men suffering from height complexes to see themselves in a celebratory light.
Role models are people in your everyday life and people we see from afar through various media. Even imaginary characters. Mae Jemison wanted to become an astronaut purely because Nichelle Nichols played Uhura on TV's Star Trek in the 1960's. Uhura influenced Whoopi Goldberg as well who later jumped at the chance to play Guinan on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Very important step in building confidence.
Fourth Step is ASSESSMENT. A summary step taking all three of the previous ones and applying them to self. Beginning to view YOURSELF in the role of role model, using the education gathered and collected to separate perception from reality, and soothed by the community which supports you. It's a prepatory step that is like planning your route on an upcoming road trip. The pre-plan stage. Taking your being and realizing the inherent value and ability of it.
Fifth Step is FEARLESSNESS/COURAGE. This is the step where you LIVE what you have learned and are finally free from the complex in total forever. No word can knock your confidence and no reaction can sway your belief in yourself. The most difficult step to reach and I don't know if hardly anybody has mastered it yet because for some reason insecurity can pop back up again unexpectedly. Once you're here though, you are cured of your insecurity complex. You in action who may become a role model for someone else. The nitro in the gas tank. The fuel that propels you forward. That's what this step is. Road map already routed and planned and now you're following the path.
The biggest mistake people make is seeing another image issue and assuming it has nothing to do with the issue at hand. That's absolutely false. If you study it, you see the same themes pop up and the story sounds much the same in theme. The individual details are different but overall it's the same story.
'Maximal's' image issues come from a feeling of "freak of nature". The overdeveloped. The "too tall" and the "big eared" and the "big breasted" and the "too smart" and the "too fat". All of them come from a different path towards their image issue than others. They feel alien towards that feature of their form as if an invader or parasite. The part or trait has almost equal regard as the entire human being in their eyes. As if they are fighting a portion of themselves for supremacy.
'Minimal's' image issues come from a feeling of abandonment and neglect. The underdeveloped. The "too short" and the "small-penised" and the "flat chested" and the "too dumb" and the "too weak". All of them come from a different path towards their image issue than others. They feel as if their development process was prematurely aborted and they were left stranded. They feel incomplete. They concentrate on the lack and always envision what "should be there". And they tend to blame themselves for the lack as if it was destined because of who they are.
All this I came up with on my own reading people's stories. I saw all kinds of image issues and these same themes popped up. They are very much valid and people would do well to study other issues and find the parallels. It will be a learning experience I guarantee you. You will look at the world totally different.
John Lucas
so I don't take myself seriously as a dancer. I dance as a joke to make people laugh and to mess around. HOWEVER, knowing my dancing isn't good I will NEVER try to embarrass myself by dancing in a professional realm because I know I'm not good at it. That would be taking it seriously meaning that I believed I had talent in dance.
