Perceptions

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BigNole, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. BigNole

    BigNole Member

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    I was wondering how people in here feel others in the real world percevie them sexually? For me it has always been frustrating. I am a gay man that has feminine men more interested in me than the men I like. I tend to like aggressive men (guess more gay men do too) but somehow I am perceived as being the "top" when in reality I am not.
     
  2. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    generally im very private in the real world about what i do and what i like. The few times i have mentioned i like guys who self suck, enjoy anal and a few other things ive got a very bizzare look in response. Its made me learn just to keep quiet and appreciate when/if i do find a guy who like the things i do who i an openly share them with
     
  3. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    I'm sure because of my age and the fact that I am still a virgin, I am perceived as gay. I'm just not open as other guys are about sexual things, at least not with people I don't know. I'm not even open with my feeling for women with my own dad, which is sad. I do know that once he did think I was gay. But I have simply said that I do like women, I am just shy about expressing my feelings.
     
  4. Principessa

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    I have come to realize that in the real world men perceive me sexually in one of three ways:

    1) Not at all :frown1:
    2) He mistakes my natural shyness for either snobbery or being a frigid ice princess.
    3) He somehow sees the fiery vixen behind the shy brown eyes.
     
  5. BigNole

    BigNole Member

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    Mr. Hardcock ,23 is still young. And not that unusal to still be a virgin either. My ex-roomate waited till at least 30 and my co-worker is 36 and I think still is a vrigin.

    Lee I agree it is best to not advertise too much. Thats why this site is so cool, you can totally be yourself
     
  6. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    I know, I'm still fine with it, but I do want to lose it very much.

    There are some people I am open with about sexual things and some I am not. And for some reason I have never been able to discuss women around my folks. I guess it has to do with never getting the talk from them.

    Now on a site like this, or even other sites I am on where I have made very good friends, good enough that I actually talk on the phone with on a regular basis, I can be open about sexual stuff with them. One very good friend I have made online, and his girlfriend, are swingers, so I can be very open with the both of them. They are like family to me we are so close.
     
  7. Fire Stick

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    Perceptions involve not only those things you project, but also how accurately others interpret those things. So, you are not completely in the driver’s seat on this one, if that makes sense. For instance, in respect to myself, me having a big dick, my tendency to be a little reserved at first with people I do not know, and perhaps other traits sometimes combine to project a certain aloofness that I really don’t intend or own as part of my persona. People who really know me know better. I think its good to try to be mindful of signals that you are sending, but ultimately, I have learned its best to be yourself and not worry too much about what the masses of people may be thinking. You hook up with certain people you like, you get to know each other, and you both take it from there.
     
  8. Northland

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    I was told just yesterday by someone that they do not perceive me in any sexual manner. Not gay, not straight, not bisexual not asexual. Most people have no idea what my sexual bent is, and I don't usually go around town broadcasting it either. Not a matter of shame, I just don't find it to be a conversation topic in most crowds.
     
  9. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    I am usually perceived as the good boy, tender, caring, protective. Well, in bed I am really different!:rolleyes:

    A classmate of mine, once, said that my eyes looked to her as fire and sexual perversion.
     
  10. justmeincal

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    NJQT466...I think I can speak for most of us on LPSG that we all see the #3 side of you. You rock!
     
  11. Phil Ayesho

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    I worried about it when I was younger...

    But I have actually had people come up to me with some question or problem they want to bounce off me who start off with , "hey, you're a sexual person... "

    So I am definitely perceived as sexual, although very few would suspect the rather varied nature of my sexual interest or experience.


    Partly... I think you are perceived sexually by others on the basis of how they see you interact .
    People started seeing me as a lot more sexual when I started living with a woman who was beautiful and well built.
    Seeing me with her in social settings, and the clear attraction between us, just left people with the impression that I was absolutely sexual in the most hetero of fashions.

    When I was on my own, not being seen with a date, or a woman, people seemed to have no impression of sexuality about me at all.

    So I guess I would say that how people perceive your sexuality is as a reflection of whether you demonstrate an active relationship, or not.

    I was was seen by others as hanging with slim, trim men... folks might suspect I was gay... if they see me with a bombshell of a babe, they assume I am as hetero as they come... if they saw me with an amorphously overweight person who had no concern for their appearence... thaeir own inablity to imagine how that person could be actively sexual would reflect on their impression of how sexual I could be to be with that person.

    Perhaps Your sexuality is mostly seen as contextual...
     
  12. Mr. Snakey

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    When i was younger yes i cared. Now that im older and married i couldnt care less. People will (even strangers) have their perceptions of not only me but my wife also because of the color of our skin. In the total scheme of things its worked to our advantage because as the years roll on we are closer than ever. We have to be. Now the world may have their perceptions. I have conclusions.
     
    #12 Mr. Snakey, Aug 6, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2008
  13. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    Does it really matter? What two persons do with each other sexually is their business. I have never done the "coming out" bit. What the world sees is all the information I will provide. My sex life is personal and very private. It is also good in a way to keep others guessing. Sex is so many wonderful things rolled into one package and there ought, in my judgment, always remain an aura of mystery about any particular person's sex life. It has worked for me. Most people are considerate: they do not ask and I do not tell.
     
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