Permission to play away

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Bussbye Bushsticker, Aug 8, 2009.

  1. D_Bussbye Bushsticker

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    I had the snip (vasectomy) last Thursday. We have 2 lovely young kids - no need for more.

    Straight away afterwards I was telling my wife I need to cum 20-30 times between now and November to clean out the sperm. Straight faced she told me I could enlist others to help with that target - but she didn't want to know about it.

    I'm a little stunned by this. Now we've not had a brilliant sex life recently, but it's still a stunning thing to say. I've never strayed away (as much as I'd like) - so I don't know where this came from.

    I used to travel a lot on business, but don't any more - so no real opportunity to take advantage!
     
  2. D_Bitch McConnell

    D_Bitch McConnell New Member

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    SE UK you say? Snap
     
  3. D_Bussbye Bushsticker

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    Wrong side of London ;)
     
  4. raunchykev

    raunchykev New Member

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    go for it man
     
  5. Rubenesque

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    Be careful - she might say it but may not really mean it. Could be a test!
     
  6. D_Bussbye Bushsticker

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    Takes a woman to understand a woman ;)
     
  7. cbrmale

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    That was the WRONG thing to say to any woman. To me and probably to your wife, it came across like blackmail, demanding a minimum amount of sex because of your procedure, which would be offputting. I doubt very much if she means for you to find someone else, and there's no reason to suggest that you won't have sex 20 or 30 times over the next 3 months (which is only a couple of times a week).

    Women are more sensitive than men, and the best recipe for a good and regular sex life is care, attention, ROMANCE, love, affection, helping out around the house and so on. Do all those things, and you may well get worn out.
     
  8. rbkwp

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    re-live yr singular J/O days
    i would say
    Safer..
    enz
     
  9. Pitbull

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    I've cut out the parts that were hiding the significant information.

    My conclusion:

    You have a problem.
    Your wife isn't really interested in sex.

    20 times in 80 days
    once every 4 days
    less than twice a week
    and that is too much?

    She knows that it isn't and is trying to justify not having to engage with you sexually by what is a reasonably modest amount by giving you a green light.

    Read this again

    Now we've not had a brilliant sex life recently

    It is about to get worse.
    Sounds like you need some help.

    Good luck
     
  10. Principessa

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    QFT!

    Why not just jerk off? :confused:
    Hmm, sounds to me like she's already having an affair and doesn't want to be bothered with you.:redface:

     
  11. matt121matt121

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    I'm puzzled as to why you got a vasectomy if you haven't been having a great sex life? I though the whole purpose of a vasectomy was to prevent pregnancy, and if you weren't having sex often then this wasn't a big concern prior to getting the vasectomy.

    I'd say now that you've had a vasectomy and can't procreate with another woman, that you might want to be careful and try to reinvigorate the sex life that you have with your wife, or just jack off, because I agree this could be some type of test, and if you can't get her to put out then that means you got a vasectomy for no reason...
     
  12. MickeyLee

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    umm what Ms. UKBBW Denise & Cbrmale said. :yup:

    she's telling you get your hand in shape until Thanksgiving.
     
  13. TXgirl77

    TXgirl77 New Member

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    Wow! I would be really hurt if I was married and they said that to me. I remember saying something like that to my boyfriend when I was in high school because I wasn't ready for sex, but mostly because my feelings had changed and I didn't care for him the way I once did.

    As one poster said, maybe she did see your comment as a bit of a threat - that could very well be the case. But if it's not, then she doesn't want sex anymore or has lost "that loving feeling." Either way, this is not good.

    I wish you the best of luck in this situation.
     
  14. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    She cant make you cum 20 times within 3 months :eek22:
     
  15. Pitbull

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    She probably can

    Just doesn't want to

    And won't
     
  16. Lex

    Lex
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    What is it with people not saying what they mean and not meaning what they say?

    Saying something you don't mean is lying.

    Do we really feel that we should expect our spouses to lie to us?

    Note: This was not targeted at you, UK, just a thought in general that was elicited by your comment.
     
  17. Countryguy63

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    To add to what Lex said.....


    What is it with people not saying what they mean and not meaning what they say, and expecting someone else to figure out what they're really saying?

    Not only is it lying, but playing head games as well. My last gf would say "I know I said that, but you were supposed to............:confused:
     
  18. Trouty

    Trouty New Member

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    Get it in writing then you'll be covered :rolleyes:
     
  19. Rubenesque

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    Buggered if I know, but I know too many high maintenance women who "test" their men like that. Drives me up the wall because then men think we're all playing games all the time!

    It's like that whole "well if you don't know what's wrong I'm not telling you" bullshit.... just say what you mean woman!!!
     
  20. Gillette

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    There may not need to be head games and drama in this.

    Condoms aren't fun and can cause erectile difficulties for men, also many birth control drugs mess with women's libidos. The vasectomy provides a solution to both.

    Just because their sex life hasn't been stellar the last while doesn't mean there's no chance for improvement.

    To the OP. She made a comment that bothered you. Tell her it bothered you and that you want to talk about it.
     
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