Personal Fitness Trainer Shyness

[CUBE]

I think if I said hey to my trainer in the locker room and he couldn't say hey back I would get a new trainer who is more socially mature.

 

[B_curiousme01]

Not everyone is comfortable enough with their sexuality to not be bothered with same sex nudity.

You're probably best not to mention anything. He doesn't seem like one to see your point.

So well put. Also, many straight guys are simply uncomfortable around gay men for any number of reasons. You must agree that the locker room threads around here are chock-full of guys who like to look/play/pick-up whatever other guys in the gym. And lots, and lots, and lots, and LOTS, about gay guys wanting/going for straight guys while "showering."

If you like his professional services, I think you should be yourself and stay with your training program. If you need/want/expect something else, you might want to find someone you are more comfortable with. Personal trainers typically touch your body at some point to adjust or specify a particular region. He does not need to be personally comfortable with "who you are" to do his job. And you do not need to feel uncomfortable with anyone who provides a service. Best wishes

 

[B_curiousme01]

Thanks Big E, I would appreciate your reply much more had you read the part when I stated that I have no interest in seeing his cock. If youd care to read the post, Id be interested in your thoughts.

I guess the point is that your trainer thinks you do otherwise he would not hide himself. I agree it's his problem. I also find it very unprofessional. His body language and outright reactions speak volumes. If I were you, I would give my money to someone who would treat me and my body with respect.

 

[FastErik1973]

Cover it up:

I respect the confidence that allows some

people to walk around the locker room naked. Know what
else I respect? Seeing you wearing a towel after your shower​

to keep the locker room a comfortable place for everyone.

​

 

[Lynx]

Could, be! I'm in the French part of Switzerland.

I agree with some people being just plain shy, maybe he's had a bad personal experience of the same caliber before?

Off-topic, where in Switzerland are you from? I was born in Luzern and grew up in Baar.

 

[Lynx]

Thanks Mplsingleguy. I apreciate your reply and careful consideration of my questions. It could very well have been the boundry thing, however, the reason I chose him in the first place to be my trainer is that we got along so well since I joined the gym. Oh well. I do not honestly remember whom he was talking to, could have been a member or another trainer.

Thanks again,

Lynx

Well i can also think of the dynamics of the relationship.... it could be that he somehow believes that if the two of you become "naked locker room buddies" that it will somehow diminish his effectiveness in being your coach.

I don't think that it's the gay/straight thing as much as him trying to place a boundary in place between your interactions when 'he is on the clock' and much like a doctor-patient relationship, you are subordinate to his physical interactions. You didn't mention whether or not the guy he was standing naked with was also a client- or just another club member...

Sometimes I think there's a natural level of trust and 'investment' that comes with allowing your body to be "displayed" to another guy in the locker room. It goes like this: you are in a strange place or visiting in another city, and you have the "F*ck it I'll never see these people again" attitude and so you either let it all hang out (full tilt exhibitionist behavior) or you are looking for 'good locker room nudity' at every opportunity, or you are on the opposite side- feeling shy and nervous about being seen by a group of strangers.

Once you're no longer the 'new guy' you get to the stage where you will probably see the same group of guys fairly frequently, since you are all working out on a similar regular schedule. Keep a friendly demeanor, and sometimes chat up a dude on the gym floor to eliminate the "creepy" factor, then you will have a few guys that you can comfortably have small talk with in the locker room. Look for opportunities to ask for a spotter on the weight bench, or ask someone how to do a specific exercise that he seems to be good at, etc. Remember your manners (say thank you if a buddy holds the door, etc) Make eye contact and smile when you see someone you recognize from a previous visit- say "hi how are you?" and see where it leads you.

After you are established a bit you will kind of know some of the regulars, and you might feel a bit more comfortable about in your own skin and not be preoccupied about what 'vibe' you are sending to others. And after being there and making small talk with strangers and hanging out a bit, you might find yourself the one standing naked in the locker room chatting up other members, or noticing that the guy sitting across from you is staring at your lap and allowing his uncovered body to be appreciated by you in return.

As for the trainer, he sounds like a douche bag. So you have to decide in a situation like this if you are happy with his paid services, or pick someone else to work with. You could call him out on his obvious social "walls" and directly ask him if he intentionally attempts to hide his social nudity from his clients as a policy, and if he denies it you can say "well I have noticed that it's just me" and I am feeling marginalized as a result- but since the theoretical solution would be "hey pal no offense intended let's go sit naked in the steam room together" isn't gonna happen- it's not worth it. Sad thing is that he's already defined his comfort level around you, accurate or not.

But there are other guys to chill with, if that's your thing.

 

[Lynx]

Just a quick update for those of you who are still following this thread: I have let my training contract expire and not renewed with him. Since them just the usual hello when we run into each other. Last week, as I was doing a new class he was giving (Studio Pilates) he made a casual comment to the effect of "I know you dont much like this streach just as you dont like me much". So I just said "Yep" and kept on streaching.

And I thought straight guys were not supposed to be bitchy LOL

 

[Fnord]

Dear Lynx,
you have my sympathies for having run into such a social moron! I would be more than insulted by the various antics he has displayed. The stereotyping of homosexuals as sexual predators who naturally prey on heterosexuals is patently ridiculous. He seems to believe this stereotype, considering his responses to you. What a wise decision to drop him and find a more mature personal trainer instead. I completely LOVE the fact your response to his bitchy comment was "yep" and nothing more.

 

[hairyversmuscle]

Ever think of this: (Secretly) He is hot for you, he likes you, he wants you, and knows if he sees you naked he might try something! A trainer could lose their job and certification for having sex with a client. Perhaps he is avoiding temptation!

 

[hairyversmuscle]

Oh and... I just read your update, glad you switched out of his class.

Here is another possibility. I once saw my trainer in the sauna shirtless and in shorts. He had huge shoulders and pecs and looked amazing. When I saw him naked, I saw his beautiful shoulders and pecs for the first time... and how they were so broad they covered up a belly, back flab, muffin top, no definition, and somewhat chicken legs.

Trainers work in a world of image, and you must have a perfect image for someone to hire you! If he is not thinking he is perfect, he might now want to strip down for new clients to see and be concerned about. Might not be a gay sexual issue at all.

 

[southeastone]

The guy is a professional trainer, to get naked and show you his goods would not be professional in his eyes. If he were a mate you trained with then I would advise yes say something but he is not so as already said "get over it"

 

[LGX]

Thank God he doesn't have to bother with you anymore.

 

[SR_Dee_Zasther]

Seems pretty apparent to me that your trainer had some kind of uneasiness changing around you, and it's a rational guess that it has something to do with your sexuality. Even if it doesn't, that's how it comes off. As a bodybuilder and trainer myself, your story struck me as odd. All the people talking about professionalism and whatnot, the logical professional step to me at least would be to not change in the locker room with your client right after a workout, if you want to maintain some kind of professional distance or whatever. I usually didn't change at the same time as my clients, usually just because I had other stuff to do first or whatever, but I worked out at the gym just like everyone else and that means sometimes clients would be in the lockerroom at the same time, and it was no big deal. It's a the gym locker room, if you're uncomfortable with nudity then you're either going to not change in the locker room or you just get over it when you realize that that old guy who is standing there naked with one knee up on the bench trying to talk to everyone who walks by and never seemingly thinking about getting dressed is always in every locker room in the world no matter what time it is You did the right thing by just getting another trainer, and if he can't see what the issue was then it's his lost clients, not something you need to worry about.

 

[CUBE]

I think when someone says...you don't like this stretch like you don't like me...then he pretty clearly insecure. I have had someone say this and I just respond, not true, no bad feelings guy unless you want to talk about something. I would pit ot back on him. His problem. Just be friendly to him and enjoy the gym

 

[Lynx]

Thanks so much for everyone's advice & comments. Even the snyde and immature responses have helped open my eyes to the small-mindedness some people suffer from.
As a further update, I have recently received (personally handed to me in the changing room) an invitation to his wedding next year; haven't replied yet.

 

[allmale]

I think Athos42 comment rings so true. I have a cousin who is a personal trainer and she said they (the trainers) have to be very careful in any lockerroom situations. I had a personal trainer for 15 months and I never saw him naked or hear him say anything the least bit off color, it was a professional relationship all the way.

 

[185248]

I have never heard of professional football coachers managers or trainers getting naked with the rest of the team in the showers either.

Keeping everything as uncomplicated as possible is the only way to go when dealing with peoples bodies, and egos.