Celery ? the best thing about celery is what you spread on it to make it taste like anything. For example, bleu cheese dressing or peanut butter. I guess it's not bad with buffalo chicken wings, but I prefer carrots.
As for PN, that has to be an induced porn trick, even if you saved yourself for weeks, blowing that much semen out would seem impossible. It's almost like those videos of obviously fake penises that ejaculate, obviously the inanimate object doesn't produce sperm, yet somehow ejaculates sperm.