philosophy anyone?

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Tender: okaaay ...
and what kind of help do you reccomend for all these failures like me ?
:'(
 
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7x6andchg: Ah but you see - I am not saying that I personally can make recommendations...

Let me put it this way. I learned many lessons from my mother. Many, many lessons. She was my world. She was one of the strongest women I ever knew.

Her death, at age 56, taught me these two things:
1. No one knows WHEN they're going to die. So be passionate about something...for her it was us, her kids, she SAVED everything we ever made for her, did in school, sent to her...I've gone through so much of it in the past year that I'm amazed at her dedication. Yet, she saw her children as her legacy and wanted to treasure every moment. We were her passion.

2. Cliched and non-philosophical as it might sound...sometimes one just has to take it easy...a lot of people take life and roll it up into this enormous snowball-effect thing that has everything bad happening to them NOW...it sometimes does happen like that, that's true, but often it's our own minds running with it. We were given the capacity for rational thought and we use it to slowly drive ourselves insane sometimes...

Just my two cents as always,

Paul
7x6&C
 
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Tender: ok, Paul.
balme it on PMS but i cant help it.
im sorry in advance.

my kid is retarded.
i have to take care of him the rest of my life. while others get to look forward to spending some years together with a SO i do not .
i never even wanted kids. i didnt want to be preg. all i could think of for 9 months was get this thing OUT of me!
then i was severely depressed for 2 yrs.

i lost my hs sweetheart because of MY stupidity.
i stupidly married the next guy that walked by and now i feel trapped. i want out.
i have lived a lie for 8 yrs.
i didnt get to be a nurse, because i ended up preg afer we married.
now im stuck with 3 kids.
ok you say how come you adopted 2 kids you didnt want...
well i always thought happy families had kids right?

my life is a mess.
i want to leave, but i am too chicken to do it.
and what about SB?????
i never wanted to hurt him. :'(
and how can i leave when i feel it is so wrong. ???


if youve never had this stuff happen to you ,
then you dont KNOW what it is like.
 
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7x6andchg: I don't know what it's like. I don't pretend to know what anyone else's life is like...I can't. I am not them.

The thread though is asking for philosophy - and what's above in my posts is mine.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you to buck up or love your children regardless or anything preachy like that...that's not my place either.

I'm just responding to blissmachine's post asking for philosophy....

7x6&C
 
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sammygirly: Everyone has a story to tell. We all have our own pain and share of pain. One person's pain is no worse than another's, regardless of the differences in the situation - whether it be past, present or future.

You can always assume there's someone out there worse off than yourself - but how does that help you with your immediate pain?

You can always assume that your pain is the absolute worst in the universe and nobody understands exactly - but how does that help you?

My philosophy is that life is a symphony of your own direction. You are Maestro of your destiny. If a woodwind plays a stray note - pause to tune them up. If the pianist wanders off - stop to bring him back. If you find it's a march and you wanted something softer, change tempo.

If it's Rock and Roll you desire and are tired of this classical BS - make it so.

And yes, I DO believe it's that easy because I've changed tempos seriously in the last little while. There have been some seriously dischorded melodies lately as well, some melancholy, some angry - none of which I particularly enjoyed but you know what?

It's MY song, and I let it play that way.

I'll change what I need to before I record it for the public ;D
 

Pecker

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I asked my daughter a long time ago what she thought her purpose in life is.

She looked as pensive as a then 5-year-old could look and after a few moments said, "To make Mommy happy."

I laughed and said, "What about Daddy?"

She said, "You're supposed to make Mommy happy, too!"

From the mouths of babes.

Pecker

(I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.)
 
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Tender: i know.
im not attacking your thoughts.
im just saying that it seemed a pat answer to say that life doesnt deal anything one cannot handle.
im not handling well right now at all...

just when life dishes you out something unbearable, you might change that philosophy...
its different when it happens to you...

:-*
Tender

oh, that was for paul... ;)
 
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7x6andchg: Well you know the old saying, Pecker :

"If Momma ain't happy ain't NOBODY happy" ;D

7x6&C
 
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sammygirly: But you ARE handling it Tender...whether you feel you're doing it badly...you're dealing with it, and you will deal with it and you will do what you need to do to handle successfully the rest of your life.

Nothing is too large that it can't be broken down into smaller bites and chewed slowly until it's swallowed easily in my opinion.  

Don't assume that we don't have our own crosses to bear either simply because we haven't listed them here - we just may be "handling" it differently then you're choosing to.  IE. Publicizing them theraputically.

Nobody lives the perfect life and we all "handle" differently. Hopefully we can help you handle this if you'll let us :)
 
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Tender: all i know is right now its all seems too large.
i cant even swallow my food lol
:-/
i dont know anymore.
 
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View_From_Below: [quote author=sammygirly link=board=99;num=1065579318;start=20#24 date=10/08/03 at 16:29:36][One person's pain is no worse than another's...
[/quote]
Sammy, that's simply not true, and I'm sure you don't mean it. Do we all have pain of some sort? Maybe. But to say one is "no worse than another"?? Please--just look around some of our hospitals and asylums and clinics and slums...not to mention the abject conditions in many foreign countries... and then look around some of our country clubs and cruise ships and universities. Pain is not equally distributed...
 
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sammygirly: No but it is equally felt by those experiencing it.

Your pain doesn't hurt you more than mine hurts me was my point. My pain might hurt you less if it were yours....your pain may hurt me more if it was mine...but while we are hurting for whatever reason....it hurts equally as bad TO US.
 
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Tender: [quote author=View_From_Below link=board=99;num=1065579318;start=20#30 date=10/08/03 at 18:02:45]
Sammy, that's simply not true, and I'm sure you don't mean it.  Do we all have pain of some sort? Maybe.  But to say one is "no worse than another"?? Please--just look around some of our hospitals and asylums and clinics and slums...not to mention the abject conditions in many foreign countries... and then look around some of our country clubs and cruise ships and universities.  Pain is not equally distributed...
[/quote]


true.
and if i was the Maestro of my destiny,
my boy could talk...
:'(

i guess i just dont get it.
 
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awellhungboi: ah, but see, that's the trick Tender. Learning what you have control over, and what you don't. To extend the maestro metaphor, the conductor of the orchestra has control over the tempo, the interpretation, the spirit of the symphony she's conducting, but she doesn't have control over whether or not one of the flutists has a head cold, or how the audience will react to the performance.

Your life can be what you want it to be. It's not too late. Coming here, sharing with us, searching for the answers and asking for help are all steps in the right direction. :)
 
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7x6andchg: Tender-

You're not the maestro of your destiny, perhaps...but you are the audience...and you decide on the interpretation...

7x6&C
 
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Tender: thanks guys.
you are really sweet.


:-*
Tender
 
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awellhungboi: well I hope you can work all these things out, Tender. It does sound like you have your fair share of challenges right now. We're all here for you, and I know none of us can really say anything that will answer your questions, make your marriage happier or help your son, but we definitely are here to listen and share our own experiences, in hopes that you can garner some small hope or wisdom there.
 
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rainfletcher: With apologies, I was off taking care of a wayward horn section and missed a lot of great posts.

I wanted to make a quick point. Pauls (Did I get the name right? The moniker is a bitch to type in the dark) point was awesome, I thought. There are times, I suppose, when life brings more to a persons plate than they are personally capable of dealing with. As Paul said, that's when others reach out and fill in the gaps. (Paul, I know I'm paraphrasing, hope I got the spirit right...).

And, isn't that what this board is doing for Tender, right now? Clearly, this is a difficult time in her life, and in a spirit of friendship and altruism, many people are offering what they can, even if it's just a 'we're here for you'. At the risk of alienating myself because of excessive cheesiness, this board is truly amazing....

Tender, please forgive me for singling you out....I too am here to help in whatever meager way I can.
 
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Tender: Rain,
you didnt single me out.
i singled myself out when i got frazzled over Paul's
comment.

and thanks for your concern for me.
guess i cant have too much of that...

:-*
Tender
 
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aj2181: A philosophy for life??? Hummm.....it seems to me that each individual has a philosophy that is constantly in a state of change. The reason for this theory of mine is that everyones changing in relation to the everything around them that influences them and changes them even with out their knowing.

My own philosophy would have to be ....go with the flow. Don't rock the boat unless you have the upper hand. Only start fights you know you can win. Don't charge into something head on when a more covert strategy will work. Those would have to be my words to live by.