Phone chats

[D_Martin van Burden]

All this talk of phone stuff actually had me buzzing a couple of people on my Yahoo list. Had the pleasure last night of killing nearly three hours with Kim (naughty) on the phone -- and it was just wonderful.

Had to settle for a message to Dr. Bubbles. We'll communicate soon enough. And I've had quite a few chats with Prep already -- good guy to vent to and shoot the shit with.

So, if we get along here on the site, I have no problem taking it to the telephone. Just make sure you call when my minutees turn free on my cell, aight?

 

[naughty]

Well Dee,

I enjoyed talking to you as well. Lovely voice and great conversation! We have to do it again sometime really soon...

naughty

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

"I just gotta say, I love your voice. It's nice to know all the testosterone didn't all go down there."

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by coolioc@May 5 2005, 07:58 AM
I have a few questions about communication on LPSG. I have posted a couple of times before, and I have been reading posts on this site for many months now. I know, I know, if I wanted to communicate how come I didn't post more? You need to give to receive, etc. Okay, so here's what I would love to know:

How do people usually start the personal communication part of LPSG? What I'm getting at is, some people just don't like to be approached via PM. Take M.Zora for instance. Her profile basically says don't even bother. Even though she's a very cool lady as evidenced in her many posts and I would love to chat with her on a personal level, I would obey her wishes and not PM her. (Hint: Zora chat with me&#33 :lol:

Are people generally open to PMs, and I have just not experimented enough yet?

As a secondary question, does anybody know of any good chat sites where you can meet people who just want to chat and/or are looking for friends and are not just posting "31yo CA bi 9.5" and stuff like that?

[post=308192]Quoted post[/post]​

Sigh, this is why I hesitated to post in this thread. I have no interest now or ever with "chatting" with non-posting members of the board. I get frustrated by this because I bitch about it constantly, but the ones who only drop by conventiently miss all my rants about lurker messages. So I put it in my tag line, but I still get this shit.

Coolioc, the only reason you're intersted in chatting with me is because you've had the opportunity to see me and read my words. I have NO interest in YOU because I have no information on you to be intersted in! Duh! Why is this so confusing? Don't join the site just to be my friend, I can't have 12,000 personal friends. Being interested in the site's biggest poster doesn't make you unique in any way. Post if you want to be considered a member, lurk if you don't want to expose yourself. I hate shy people, so chances are if you're too shy to post, we wouldn't get along anyway. Ask anyone- I'm a flaming bitch and you're not missing out on a thing. Hope that clears it up.

 

[Dr. Dilznick]

Originally posted by madame_zora
I hate shy people

[post=308501]Quoted post[/post]​

You know, it took me a long time to overcome my shyness—no thanks to people like you.

Besides, he's obviously not too shy to be posting on an internet message board, so I don't know why you brought it up in the first place.

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by Dr. Dilznick+May 6 2005, 03:43 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Dr. Dilznick &#064; May 6 2005, 03:43 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-madame_zora
I hate shy people

[post=308501]Quoted post[/post]​

You know, it took me a long time to overcome my shyness—no thanks to people like you.

Besides, he&#39;s obviously not too shy to be posting on an internet message board, so I don&#39;t know why you brought it up in the first place.

[post=308583]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]


Because you&#39;re unaware of the amount of pmms I get from noobs saying "I just joined this site because I like your posts and think we have a lot in common, can&#39;t wait to get to know you better" and the like. THEN they want to exchange pmms instead of posting, so it takes me hours and hours to get to know them when they already know everything about me&#33; I got caught up in this earlier on and I almost went bankrupt (literally) because I was spending sometimes twelve hours a day online and neglecting my work.

So I&#39;ve had to make it clear too many times that I don&#39;t have time for behind the scenes friendships&#33; If we get to know each other on the board and like each other, that&#39;s great, but it must be PUBLIC&#33; No one likes going into something where they are the only one exposed and having to play "catch up" for the first three months. So I say again, don&#39;t join this site just to be my personal friend, if you don&#39;t want to contribute, I&#39;m not interested.

 

[Dr. Dilznick]

That I do understand. But like I said, I just don&#39;t think it has anything to do with shyness.

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

I understand Jana&#39;s point. I have received PM&#39;s along the lines of "hey dude fukin hot avitar send me your nekkid pics i&#39;m xxx@aol.com hit me up on aim i&#39;m xxx" ... that was actually a direct quote with the username replaced by &#39;xxx&#39;. 0 posts, empty profile ... why would I want to contact this person? I don&#39;t know his/her age, gender, location, sexual orientation, interests, anything. All I know is that there&#39;s a lurker who can&#39;t spell or punctuate who likes my avatar photo. Not a lot to base a friendship on, y&#39;know?

 

[db03]

I think its a great idea for people who have met in the forum to extend their friendships to the fone, and possibly even meet up.

I can see there are quite a few strong friendships in the lpsg, and I wish you all the best of luck.

There&#39;s really only one person that I want to call from this forum, they know who they are&#33;

 

[yaoifun]

Jana, Jacinto, I know exactly how ya feel. I&#39;ve gotten plenty of PMs asking for nekkid pics, especially after I had that so-called-sezzy avatar up. It&#39;s actually part of the reason why I took it down, but not the whole reason, I won&#39;t let some pervy lurkers ruin my fun&#33; Back to the point, they made it clear they knew I wasn&#39;t 18 yet by saying things like "I know your not legal yet but..." or "I know your not 18, but I won&#39;t tell anyone, I promise&#33; Please? or even "Your legal where I live, so show me the package, I&#39;ll show you mine&#33;" Utterly revolting. I also love it when they say "Hey you look familiar&#33; I&#39;d love to get to know you....a/s/l? Any naughty pics?" Those especially piss me off as just like Jana, I make it clear I don&#39;t wish to be bothered by lurkers. I&#39;d be more than happy to talk to them if they would post, even just like, 25 posts, so I at least knew them a little bit and they genuinely seemed like they wanted to get to know ME, not what&#39;s in my pants. I know it comes across as harsh for not wanting to talk to lurkers, but 90% of the time they are all the same. They pretend to like me/know me/want pics, yet as was said, empty profile, zero posts. I may not be a full adult yet, but I&#39;m not a stupid naive brat either, so don&#39;t even try it&#33; Can you believe someone attempted to blackmail me for pics once? It was a pretty sad attempt too, if I may say so myself, and my response would have probably given Jana a run for her money&#33; (Though we all know she&#39;s still Queen of the World, at least in lurker bashing and LPSG) OK enough for my little lurker rant. I don&#39;t mean to come across as a total people-I-don&#39;t-already-know hating asshole. I have responded to some lurkers who have actually been genuinely nice to me and have never asked for a pic ever. Those ones I don&#39;t mind, in the least&#33; People like that can PM me anytime, but don&#39;t get me wrong, I will see through your act if you are just trying to get pics to add to a collection. That&#39;s all for now I won&#39;t count out calling anyone else from here, but only if I really do know you very well, as I do the ones I already talk to sometimes. On another note, I&#39;ll probably get another avatar soon, but until then, I will attempt to creep out the pervy-lurkers with the unnerving, evil grin of the lovely, psychosexual Mitsuko ^_^

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Originally posted by madame_zora@May 6 2005, 11:20 AM
Because you&#39;re unaware of the amount of pmms I get from noobs saying "I just joined this site because I like your posts and think we have a lot in common, can&#39;t wait to get to know you better" and the like. THEN they want to exchange pmms instead of posting, so it takes me hours and hours to get to know them when they already know everything about me&#33; I got caught up in this earlier on and I almost went bankrupt (literally) because I was spending sometimes twelve hours a day online and neglecting my work.

So I&#39;ve had to make it clear too many times that I don&#39;t have time for behind the scenes friendships&#33; If we get to know each other on the board and like each other, that&#39;s great, but it must be PUBLIC&#33; No one likes going into something where they are the only one exposed and having to play "catch up" for the first three months. So I say again, don&#39;t join this site just to be my personal friend, if you don&#39;t want to contribute, I&#39;m not interested.

[post=308593]Quoted post[/post]​

I admit it, Zora. I had to stifle an urge to give you a sarcastic boo-hoo. If newbies are that much of an issue to you, then maybe you should mask your beyond-LPSG contact information and/or disable PMs from people you don&#39;t appreciate hearing from.

You can dislike what newbies have to say, and you don&#39;t even have to dignify their comments with one of your own; your silence can (ironically) speak loudly enough. And Dilz may have stated it better than me, too: There&#39;s a really fine line between standing firm with your "rules" of contact on a message board (which is fair, sure) and just being unapproachable altogether -- or "a flaming bitch," as you call it yourself.

I dunno. I don&#39;t see the point of making a big deal about Internet communication. I get my share of unwanted messages, too, but I don&#39;t even bother replying. I just delete them and move on. &#39;Sides, the way I see it, the more time I waste dealing with unwanted company, the less time I make for actual wanted company.

 

[madame_zora]

Dee, I hear ya loud and clear and I really don&#39;t expect anyone to understand, but I feel the need to post it because it really does cut down on the problem. There was a time when I was almost the only woman on here with my pic as an avatar, but those women who have posted avas will tell you the pmms are not nice to get. The ratio of hetero men to women is astoundingly high, so we have issues that you guys seldom have.

Notice, the lurkers don&#39;t pm other lurkers&#33; They aren&#39;t interested in blank profiles either, so why should I be? Anyway, any member of this board who actively posts will tell you I can be a rather nice person, I just have no intention of getting bogged down with strangers. I&#39;m still very open to getting to know people in the open forums and making friendships that sometimes include pmms, it&#39;s not like I don&#39;t want to get to know new people, just public first&#33; I feel I have every right to expect people to let me know something about them and their ideas and beliefs before we start any futher communication.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Zora, the only thing I didn&#39;t understand was the mixed message being given off -- and perhaps the way in which you shared your sentiments tended to overpower your intention.

One thing I&#39;m realizing is that, as a bit of a veteran around here, newbies are just as intimidated of our status as we can be impatient with theirs. While I don&#39;t appreciate a noob trying to suck my Internet teat for the sake of positive affirmation, part of me still understands why this goes on. In the sense of this place being a support group, noobs are looking for a little bit of recognition in the midst of finding a place, a niche in which to feel comfortable.

It&#39;s like double dutch. Sure, it&#39;s okay once you jump on in -- but do ya know how hard it is to jump in the first place? Whap, goes that rope hitting you in the back of the neck if you aren&#39;t careful; if it stings that much, it makes you hesitant to try. And for a simultaneous message of "welcome to the board" vs. "dammit, I am SO not interested in you until you post ______ times" -- that can be confusing, I&#39;m sure.

And I&#39;m not and never have been of crude communication on here -- whether we&#39;re doing personal quarrels in the threads, building up drama, or getting lewd remarks about pictures. You&#39;re right; you don&#39;t have to put up with that. If you feel that these periodic outbursts of yours are helpful, well, then that&#39;s so. In my case, deleting and/or ignoring and leave it at that works just fine without having to make ripples in the threads. We could use Mark&#39;s space better than that, I guess.

Either way, I&#39;m fine with us having a difference of opinion on the topic. You probably don&#39;t like my style and I&#39;m not comfortable with yours, and that&#39;s just it, I guess.

 

[hung9mike]

I&#39;ve talked to a couple of guys on the site (including one of the guys who posted in this thread) and I&#39;d say I enjoyed it. I&#39;m not sure I&#39;d want to do this a whole lot, but for those I like chatting with, why not?

 

[13788]

DieHard9x6: I&#39;ve talked via mic to about a half-dozen women, but only one from here, I think, Dr. B. It was definitely a pleasure, and I&#39;d love to do it again sometime. In fact, every chat I&#39;ve had that led to mic was great, but I think that&#39;s because I get to know the person a bit beforehand -- boards and chats provide an excellent screening process&#33;

 

[Steve26]

Like others here I value my privacy, and so I&#39;ve never posted an avatar or any photos in the "gallery." One obvious suggestion for those who might object to being contacted or judged on the basis of physical appearance would be simply to refrain from posting photos that might elicit an objectionable response.

This approach has worked for me ... just my &#036;0.02 worth ...

Steve

 

[Dr Rock]

the sad thing is that your advice is sound. it&#39;s pretty fucking pathetic when people can&#39;t put up photos for fear of online stalkers. x(

 

[madame_zora]

Dee, I like your style plenty&#33; You and I are just different people and it&#39;s likely that how we experience this particular issue is different for each of us. I like being here and talking through posts to the various members of this board, I just don&#39;t like it when people who are new see a lot of posts from me and automatically assume I&#39;m the good will ambassador and I owe them a lot of my free time. I guess I get huffy because it has happened so many times, and in reality I don&#39;t like having to have long conversations about WHY I don&#39;t have time to have long conversations with every individual person&#33; The absurdity factor is probably too high to explain adequately, but often times when I just ignore someone, the posts get nastier and more aggressive.

Anyway, it&#39;s just MY prefernce that people give up a little something of themselves before trying to make friends behind the scenes, everyone else is free to feel however they choose to about it.

 

[naughty]

JAna,

Considering what you have been through I can fully understand what you mean. It is good though that you explained it for all to see.

Naughty

 

[prepstudinsc]

I talk to Dee and I&#39;ve talked to a couple of former members of the board, and I IM and email with a couple of people from here. I think that it&#39;s cool to get to know people on a more personal level IF you are comfortable with it. Dee and I have had some great phone chats talking about a wide variety of things, as did I with the former board members, who I keep in touch with via email and phone.

It just depends on if you have other things in common other than sex and penis topics and if the person can carry on a real conversation. If they can, and if they have a good sense of humor, it can be fun to get to know other people. If they are pervy, forget it&#33;