Physically / not sexually attraction to men
- Thread starter 7Joel7
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Yeh but fundamentally, all you're doing is having sex with them. Why? You can get all the benefits of the energy, high quality sex and visual focus of male sexuality without taking any of the challenges on with being in a same sex relationship, because that would be a tad inconvenient, wouldn't it? Having to deal with more homophobia and dealing with it being a pressing issue to actually come out. Something you would have to face if you were biromantic, rather than heteroromantic. And personally, on a sexual level heteroromantic bi men are the one group that will not grace my bed, because my self-worth is higher than that.
I don’t even know how to comment on this. You really have no idea how I feel toward men. Incidentally, when I wrote the first comment I hadn’t been with one in 3 years. Reaffirming, no romantic feelings toward women. When I am with a guy I feel spark, would I be in a relationship? Yes. Have I been? No.
Totally different, I am full blown gay with no sexual/romantic/emotional attraction to women. I just prefer the look of the number 99, and their bodies to me have a similar effect to landscape paintings.
Thanks for the explanation. I didn’t get that out the the stupid meaningless percentage indicator on the website.
And to be honest, I was finally stating to feel in my place until you made me feel like a piece of garbage. Thanks for that.
No but I take the level of romantic attraction far more seriously than the sexual attraction. Because it presents far greater life challenges than just having anonymous sex or fuck buddies do. Fundamentally, how am I supposed to tell the difference between a heteroromantic bi identified man, and a heteroromantic straight identified man who sleeps with men occasionally? The only one I can think of is more kissing in the bedroom, that's it. At the start of that conversation you were stating you had 0 romantic feelings towards men, you were only after men's bodies, that certainly didn't sound like an openness for anything to change. Of course, now you are saying that is the same with women, and you're stating that it could happen. The openness was not there at first, the previous poster well frankly I don't even think he deserves the bi label, he's a straight man living a straight life fucking men occasionally. A lot of the time I am certain that heteroromantic bisexual men are simply choosing the romantic orientation based off subconscious internalised homophobia and for ease of partaking in heterosexual privilege in other regards. Then heteroromantic bisexual men actually make it harder for biromantic and homoromantic bi men because you perfectly fit an unpleasant damaging stereotype held by some gay men of "playing in gay town, and living in straight town". I hold absolute compassion, empathy and total solidarity for bi men who are homoromantic or biromantic, not heteroromantic ones though.
This is the sort of shit that you deserve flak on. Because there is no logical reason why you could be that sexually attracted to men and not romantically attracted to them. Men and women have the exact same range of emotions, and are as capable of fulfilling emotional needs. As a homoromantic gay man, I have to live that life all the time, not just for a couple fun sessions every now and then.
I agree with a lot of what you said here.
1. I am more then willing to accept that my bi label was exactly what you described. It was easier then dealing with the feeling that I am letting people down for being my true self.
2. Again, correct. A lot has happened in my life that changed my answer to the first question, and it actually sounds stupid.
3. After avoiding 1 on 1 with men for 3 years and only seeing them in the context of another woman (I started with guys), I’ve realized that I have no connection to women at all, unless they just want to have fun, nothing would come of it though.
4. I understand your statement about men and women having the same feelings obviously. What I had thought, when going back to guys, was that that the romantic intimate feelings that I had while with them were not purely sexual, but deeper. It took me a long time to realize that, going back helped, you happened to connect at the same time as this realization.
5. I’m not homophobic, my feelings stem from not wanting to disappoint my family, etc... because they want to see babies, etc. stupid reason? Maybe.
6. I just came out to my brother. It took years for me to be able to do that.
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It is a stupid reason, because you have plenty of options for a child of your own with a boyfriend or husband, ranging from surrogacy to adoption, depending on whether you want a biological child or not. That's what I'm very likely to do myself, and I know other gay men that will. If your family would be disappointed in the other parent's gender, well fuck them frankly. Easier said than done I realise. It is nonetheless, intentionally or otherwise, heterosexist. That is not to say you are homophobic, any more than saying straight passing gay men have internalised homophobia when they're femmephobic. It is displaying and feeding into the bias though, so that's why I mentioned it being subconscious. But I think a lot of the times, a complete ruling out of same sex romantic relationships amongst bisexuals, is related to heterosexist views and internalised homophobia
It is good though that you have come to this realisation. Apart from anything else, you've just increased your dating pool.
I applaud you for that. In my case I came out because I knew I was likely to be in relationships with men, so the motivation was quite different. Because that involves things like being nervous when expressing affection in public, or kissing in public or introducing them to friends, in the way that a mixed sex couple couldn't experience.
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Really? Straight men in UK kiss on lips when greeting? Go frequently on biz and haven’t seen this. I guess the good ol handshake has gone its way, and I need to kiss my UK colleagues when we meet in the conference rooms?
Maybe our UK members can chime in here?
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