A man is at an elegant party, and after a little while, he begins to hear faint, but very beautiful piano music. He starts to walk around, and eventually locates the piano and the player. The piano player is obviously very talented. The man stands there listening until the pianist reaches the end of his piece. Then he goes to him and congratulates him on his playing. "That was one of the most beautiful pieces I've ever heard, but I didn't recognize it. Can you tell me who wrote it?" The pianist, obviously somewhat embarrassed, says, "Well, sir, I wrote it myself and it's one of my favorite compositions." "What's it called?" asks the man. "It's called 'I fuck my wife up the ass and come all over her tits'." The man seems surprised to hear this. "Isn't that a rather unusual name for a musical composition?" he asks. The pianist replies, "Well, you see, sir, I love sex and music both very much, and so when I write a piece, I often give it a name that refers to some beautiful sexual experience." "I see," says the man. "Well," he continues, "I'm throwing a party myself in a couple of weeks, and I'm so impressed with your talent, I would like to offer to pay you to come and play your music then." The pianist accepts enthusiastically, and they settle the details. Two weeks later, the day of the party arrives. The pianist is there and begins to play, but his music is a total mess, nothing but mistakes, clumsiness, and dissonance. The man, who is now the host of the party, calls him aside and speaks to him. "What's the matter?" he asks. "You played so beautifully the other day and now you seem to be a completely different sort of musician." The pianist answers, "Well, this always happens whenever I'm really horny. I just can't concentrate on the music and on playing. Usually if I can just go somewhere and jerk off, everything goes back to normal." "All right," says the host. "Go upstairs. There's a bathroom on the right. My son stashes some porno magazines in the linen closet. You can have your fun and come back to play. But hurry. My guests are arriving and I'm paying you a lot of money for this." The pianist charges up the stairs, and in a very short while, the strains of incredibly beautiful music fill the house. A woman is at the party, and like the man on the earlier occasion, she is intrigued by the music and follows it into the room where the pianist is weaving his magical spell. She listens to him until he finishes playing. Then she approaches the piano to talk to him and sees something strange. She says, trying to sound casual, "Do you know your dick is hanging out and you've got cum all over your pants?" The musician smiles and replies, "Know it? Lady, I wrote it!"