Pissed at the world…but why?

Number 9

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I guess I could ask this in the Relationships section but I’m not really interested in a guys take because somehow the answer would work back around to his dick size. Kinda like the number 42 and the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy.

So

I have had two women in my family that share a similar trait and judging by what I see elsewhere it’s not that terribly uncommon an issue.

My wife’s aunt just seems like she is pissed at the world. You bring up a person or subject and she’ll tell you why it affects her directly and how it pisses her off. She never has anything good to say about her husband and he’s one of the most decent men I know. Always helps, hard worker, lived in a little travel trailer near work towards the end of his career while she lived up at the 77ac horse ranch he bought because she wanted it. The ranch was simple and they were not swimming in money but he worked till he was old and even after retirement bailed hay fields till his eyes gave out. Even then she bitched at and about him. She just seemed spring loaded to the pissed off position about everything.

The other is MUCH closer to home. Much.

My wife has never had to work. I’ve always provided, purchased her the homes she wanted and worked hard to make them what she liked. This sounds self stroking but I’m easy going, always listened to her day(but learned to not try to solve her problems)when I got home, try to be fun and funny to lighten the mood around the house, felt like I was supportive and complementary and always tried to provided the things she liked. To be fair she was never one for the typical material things but always supported her love of animals including numerous dogs and cats and an array of horses, goats, chickens, and of course Buddy the Wonder Donkey. (He was a bit of a diva)

Now she has never been ugly to or about me. She has always been very kind and supportive. Thing is she is really hard on our adult children. It’s much like the other woman I talked about. I even told her I was concerned about her and I was afraid she was headed down the same path.

I even retired early because I thought we could have some fun and she could relax with some help. Come to find out after telling me “Hell yeah retire baby, you deserve it!” She doesn’t really want me around the house. Which turned out fine for me. I spend my days up at the local community college art Dept.

I understand this is a very limited view I’ve provided and I understand everyone has their right to be pissed about what ever they like but I’m kinda a a loss. Why be so pissed off when you seem to have a pretty decent life.

I’m in no way trivializing her feelings. Hell, quite the opposite, I’m concerned I’ll go tits up and she’ll be alone and isolated. I’m just curious if any of this seems familiar? Do you have friends like this and or do you have insight?
 

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I have been pissed at my own species for some time, but I try to focus on the positive things over the negatives. There's a balance. Sometimes I sway one way or the other, but I make an effort to keep myself level. I try to not be reactionary (which I was very much so for a long time and some readers here may think I haven't changed at all, but I have and I'm glad for it) I try not to make assumptions. I think that might be part of why I post less frequently than I used to. I've grown. I'm still me, but I've learned that reacting is a decision.

Blame is a game that no one wins. So I don't play it anymore. Again, used to. Leather the hard why and observed the consequences of those around me who feel there needs to be a villain in every scenario. Sometimes it's not that simple.

Acceptance is one of the most valuable abilities I've gained over the years. I'm still pissed, but I don't take it out on others and I don't try to force the world to be the way I think it should be. Because I'm just a fuckin spec in all reality. Just a moment in time. Life's too fuckin short to stay angry at things that don't actually matter. Nothing really does. And everything also does. It's a butt
 

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You don't want me to answer this question. Trust me.

giphy.gif
 

huguest

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If I may give my two cent.
Everybody need validation/gratification. I call that "energy" because it's usually remove headache and give you joy to go thought your day.

There is a lot of way to gain energy. But 3 type of persona come up : the savior, the tormentors, the victim.

Your always one of the 3 and it's can switch even in the same conversation.
You developpe your main persona at young age and Don't think savior is better, they are just a game of gaining energy in a conversation.

I resume a lot, but the trick is NOT go in that game. Break the circle.
 
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I guess I could ask this in the Relationships section but I’m not really interested in a guys take because somehow the answer would work back around to his dick size. Kinda like the number 42 and the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy.

So

I have had two women in my family that share a similar trait and judging by what I see elsewhere it’s not that terribly uncommon an issue.

My wife’s aunt just seems like she is pissed at the world. You bring up a person or subject and she’ll tell you why it affects her directly and how it pisses her off. She never has anything good to say about her husband and he’s one of the most decent men I know. Always helps, hard worker, lived in a little travel trailer near work towards the end of his career while she lived up at the 77ac horse ranch he bought because she wanted it. The ranch was simple and they were not swimming in money but he worked till he was old and even after retirement bailed hay fields till his eyes gave out. Even then she bitched at and about him. She just seemed spring loaded to the pissed off position about everything.

The other is MUCH closer to home. Much.

My wife has never had to work. I’ve always provided, purchased her the homes she wanted and worked hard to make them what she liked. This sounds self stroking but I’m easy going, always listened to her day(but learned to not try to solve her problems)when I got home, try to be fun and funny to lighten the mood around the house, felt like I was supportive and complementary and always tried to provided the things she liked. To be fair she was never one for the typical material things but always supported her love of animals including numerous dogs and cats and an array of horses, goats, chickens, and of course Buddy the Wonder Donkey. (He was a bit of a diva)

Now she has never been ugly to or about me. She has always been very kind and supportive. Thing is she is really hard on our adult children. It’s much like the other woman I talked about. I even told her I was concerned about her and I was afraid she was headed down the same path.

I even retired early because I thought we could have some fun and she could relax with some help. Come to find out after telling me “Hell yeah retire baby, you deserve it!” She doesn’t really want me around the house. Which turned out fine for me. I spend my days up at the local community college art Dept.

I understand this is a very limited view I’ve provided and I understand everyone has their right to be pissed about what ever they like but I’m kinda a a loss. Why be so pissed off when you seem to have a pretty decent life.

I’m in no way trivializing her feelings. Hell, quite the opposite, I’m concerned I’ll go tits up and she’ll be alone and isolated. I’m just curious if any of this seems familiar? Do you have friends like this and or do you have insight?
Being a bisexual male I can say couple things that doesn’t evolve around penis size or sex ..

you say she never worked .. .. was this your decision. Or her decision or both?— my brothers wife when they got married he said if she wanted to stay home And she was fine with this for a few years.. but she never talked to him I’m about letting her work.. she’s tel on me… x my other .. brother and my mom about it and she never talked to him about it

now years later she has got this lung disease that’s basicly killing her slowly past couple years.. and he works now when he can and takes care of her .. and now she tells him if she’d worked she wouldn’t be in shape she is in now.. so all these years she’d been angry at him.. because she didn’t work and now she is sick..


Have you sat with her talked it out with her .. one on one— no cursing or raising voices and just talked things out ??
 

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Being a bisexual male I can say couple things that doesn’t evolve around penis size or sex ..

you say she never worked .. .. was this your decision. Or her decision or both?— my brothers wife when they got married he said if she wanted to stay home And she was fine with this for a few years.. but she never talked to him I’m about letting her work.. she’s tel on me… x my other .. brother and my mom about it and she never talked to him about it

now years later she has got this lung disease that’s basicly killing her slowly past couple years.. and he works now when he can and takes care of her .. and now she tells him if she’d worked she wouldn’t be in shape she is in now.. so all these years she’d been angry at him.. because she didn’t work and now she is sick..


Have you sat with her talked it out with her .. one on one— no cursing or raising voices and just talked things out ??
No, it was always up to her. So long as we were ok paying the bills and feeding the 401k I was fine with her working or not. We wanted a peaceful home and she preferred not working outside the home. I mean keeping things going there was every bit as mush work as I did but again, she wanted to be there.

Together we also felt that it was good for our kids to have that strong bond with us but especially her. We only really considered it because it didn’t put us in a bind.
 

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I had to force myself to smile after many years of being pissed off at the world. I was a single mom at 21 after I left a serial cheater who has not seen his daughter in over 30 years. My relationship with my parents was contentious, which is why I married the week after I turned 18.

I worked my way through college and left home as quickly as I could. I was so angry at everything that I did stupid things.

I was listening to some stupid talk show on the radio talking about trying to smile through the hardships. Yeah, right. Hell, I'll give it a go.

The amount of effort it takes to smile when your inclination is to tell everyone FU is immense. But I did it.

And I seriously believe that it's changed my life. I apologized to my parents for being an asshole all of those years. They didn't accept my apology because they believed there was nothing to apologize for. I cried.

I apologized to my daughter for being a gloom cloud in her life. She never saw me that way.

It's rare you'll see a photo of my without a smile these days.

There's a lot I could be angry about now, but there's a lot that I cannot control. I know I can control the way I treat people, though.

It takes effort, and that's something that some sad people just don't want to give.
 

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I had to force myself to smile after many years of being pissed off at the world. I was a single mom at 21 after I left a serial cheater who has not seen his daughter in over 30 years. My relationship with my parents was contentious, which is why I married the week after I turned 18.

I worked my way through college and left home as quickly as I could. I was so angry at everything that I did stupid things.

I was listening to some stupid talk show on the radio talking about trying to smile through the hardships. Yeah, right. Hell, I'll give it a go.

The amount of effort it takes to smile when your inclination is to tell everyone FU is immense. But I did it.

And I seriously believe that it's changed my life. I apologized to my parents for being an asshole all of those years. They didn't accept my apology because they believed there was nothing to apologize for. I cried.

I apologized to my daughter for being a gloom cloud in her life. She never saw me that way.

It's rare you'll see a photo of my without a smile these days.

There's a lot I could be angry about now, but there's a lot that I cannot control. I know I can control the way I treat people, though.

It takes effort, and that's something that some sad people just don't want to give.
That is so colossally messed up. I mean it’s great your folks understood later and your determination is amazing but still, starting out like that with a POS husband that you did and he bailed out on you. Yes, very fucked up.

Looking back I know my wife had the same type seriously messed up, dysfunctional relationship with her folks. Mother was a controlling compulsive liar and her dad was a total asshole that had no idea how to show love or compassion. She wanted out so bad she actually proposed to me. She was only 19 and I was 21. I knew it seemed like a whim but I was always willing to take a chance and my family gave me the gift of zero self esteem so I went all in a flash when she wanted to start a life with me.

Maybe what I’m not seeing is that unlike you. I her case she has someone to have her back and listen when she needs to vent….a lot. This way she doesn’t actually do or say the shit she is thinking to those people that piss her off.

How would that have made a difference in your life? If he had been a bit human and stuck around to be a husband and an actual father, do you feel you would possibly not wanted to do the things you did?

As far as I can tell I’m all my wife has to talk to that way. There are no “close” girlfriends and obviously no coworkers. So maybe that all it is in her case. It’s not that she is all that pissed off, it just I’m the only outlet. Hmmm. Maybe.

Thank you. You have given me something to consider.
 
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My life is full of "what ifs." But playing that game can mess with your head.

Looking back, we barely knew each other. He was only the second boy to date me in high school. And we went on two dates.

Mum and I seemed to always be at each other's throat. She was very religious and very strict. So, from my teen years I always wanted to be a mom that was sweet and caring.

Unfortunately, I didn't share that with my husband-to-be. And I found out about a month after our honeymoon that he had no intention of being a father so soon. That seems to be some important information right there that I should have had beforehand.

What if he welcomed the baby? What if he got gainful employment? What if he had any potential?

I dated a guy for a while that was absolutely perfect. If he wasn't going to ask me I was going to ask him. Very, very serious. We shared everything - hopes, dreams, plans for a future. But before I could ask he accepted a huge promotion with a transfer. He begged me to go with him, but my roots, actually my daughter's roots were already established. I guess that was just an excuse on my part.

What if I moved? Could I handle NYC? Would he be a great Dad?

Everything worked out. I met a guy. We moved. We moved again (but in the right direction!)

He said outright that he didn't know anything about being a father or how to handle kids. That would have to be my department. Well, ask my daughter who her dad is. He was the best father she could have and the one she deserved.

With where my life is right now those what-if scenarios are downright depressing. And I have no reason to entertain them.
 

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My life is full of "what ifs." But playing that game can mess with your head.

Looking back, we barely knew each other. He was only the second boy to date me in high school. And we went on two dates.

Mum and I seemed to always be at each other's throat. She was very religious and very strict. So, from my teen years I always wanted to be a mom that was sweet and caring.

Unfortunately, I didn't share that with my husband-to-be. And I found out about a month after our honeymoon that he had no intention of being a father so soon. That seems to be some important information right there that I should have had beforehand.

What if he welcomed the baby? What if he got gainful employment? What if he had any potential?

I dated a guy for a while that was absolutely perfect. If he wasn't going to ask me I was going to ask him. Very, very serious. We shared everything - hopes, dreams, plans for a future. But before I could ask he accepted a huge promotion with a transfer. He begged me to go with him, but my roots, actually my daughter's roots were already established. I guess that was just an excuse on my part.

What if I moved? Could I handle NYC? Would he be a great Dad?

Everything worked out. I met a guy. We moved. We moved again (but in the right direction!)

He said outright that he didn't know anything about being a father or how to handle kids. That would have to be my department. Well, ask my daughter who her dad is. He was the best father she could have and the one she deserved.

With where my life is right now those what-if scenarios are downright depressing. And I have no reason to entertain them.
I apologize for what was once again a question without considering how it may be hurtful for your having to go down that direction. I get so caught up in my own process I don’t think about collateral damage.

Not that it means anything what so ever but I’m happy life worked out well for your family. I wish every child could have kind supportive parents.

While we were wondering about the city resupplying my clay needs I asked her about her anger and if I was just a safe sounding board that helped her head off doing any serious damage to other relationships. She confirmed.

I appreciate that you shared your thoughts and insights. Everything you said helped me fill in my understanding when I couldn’t see it directly on my own. Looking back at how she felt trapped at home and that poisonous relationship makes me see I was more than likely much less a shining knight and much more of an escape door from home.

That’s life I guess
 

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What's the story ? I was mad cuz I had no new shoes , then I met a man with no feet .
Some how ,me now I thought I had the worst problems life could through at me .
I never had any kids , I was divorced , and I had a girl friend of six wonderful years .
She made my life full and complete , I gave her what ever she needed or wanted .
She was a transgender woman , a intersexed person . More female than male .
I loved her so much it hurt , her junky car was about 3 feet from a junk yard , soI bought her a Corvette. She went nuts , lololol ,after my postrate operation she did every thing to make me happy .trying to make me hard any way she could , Postrate does that to a guy at first .

She was raped by 4 bastards when I was away . It put her in the hospital , she lost an eye from the beating and broken ribs and severe anal tearing ,the police did nothing .She overdosed on Xanax from very deep depression, I took went into depression and am still on drugs for it .
They make me at Times do and say stupid things , Then I read about some one else's problems and I think , how selfish I am , others are hurting way more than I am . My God I still miss her
 

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It sounds like she has a lot of feelings bottled up inside. She may need someone to help her through dropping those hurtful thoughts and past trauma (maybe not physical or even related to you) and how she (and you) can enjoy living in the moment together and individually. Do you think she would be open to something like a workshop or class with or without you? I know of some good ones but she has to want to feel better. ❤️
 

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What's the story ? I was mad cuz I had no new shoes , then I met a man with no feet .
Some how ,me now I thought I had the worst problems life could through at me .
I never had any kids , I was divorced , and I had a girl friend of six wonderful years .
She made my life full and complete , I gave her what ever she needed or wanted .
She was a transgender woman , a intersexed person . More female than male .
I loved her so much it hurt , her junky car was about 3 feet from a junk yard , soI bought her a Corvette. She went nuts , lololol ,after my postrate operation she did every thing to make me happy .trying to make me hard any way she could , Postrate does that to a guy at first .

She was raped by 4 bastards when I was away . It put her in the hospital , she lost an eye from the beating and broken ribs and severe anal tearing ,the police did nothing .She overdosed on Xanax from very deep depression, I took went into depression and am still on drugs for it .
They make me at Times do and say stupid things , Then I read about some one else's problems and I think , how selfish I am , others are hurting way more than I am . My God I still miss her
Take care of yourself, your problem are not bigger or less then other's. It's your life, you have the right to express and feel what your feeling.

Call a friend, talk, you have one life, make the best of it !
I give you a big hug, if I could. :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
 
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Number 9

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It sounds like she has a lot of feelings bottled up inside. She may need someone to help her through dropping those hurtful thoughts and past trauma (maybe not physical or even related to you) and how she (and you) can enjoy living in the moment together and individually. Do you think she would be open to something like a workshop or class with or without you? I know of some good ones but she has to want to feel better. ❤️
She was having some good success with a therapist for a couple years but then she had a very bad break of her leg/ankle and issues after( like diabetic healing issues) and she lost that outlet. Problem is my wife HATES change. Really hates it especially when finding a therapist was an impressive leap for her.

I guess that’s been the difference maybe. Seems right
 
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Number 9

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Take care of yourself, your problem are not bigger or less then other's. It's your life, you have the right to express and feel what your feeling.

Call a friend, talk, you have one life, make the best of it !
I give you a big hug, if I could. :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
I stay pretty isolated in real life as it applies to friends in general. I have good friends at the college clay studio I spend my days with but we just talk clay pretty much and that makes it nice. My clay is what I keep just for me and my emotions manifest physically where I create.

Im certain it’s my therapist. I walk in and I feel life’s issues melt off.

I come here to talk, vent, and ask questions. I like the arrangement of partial anonymity mixed with the more open minded people.

I truly appreciate you kindness! Not just words, I mean it.
 
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She was having some good success with a therapist for a couple years but then she had a very bad break of her leg/ankle and issues after( like diabetic healing issues) and she lost that outlet. Problem is my wife HATES change. Really hates it especially when finding a therapist was an impressive leap for her.

I guess that’s been the difference maybe. Seems right
Bear with me - I’m dont work for them or anything, but ever hear of the Landmark Forum? It made a big difference in my life. It is kind of a lot of $ (for me, anyway… and I am ready for a refresher) but life-changing for me and maybe could be for you or you both? It is a long weekend workshop and teaches an entirely new way of thinking. I think they may still do online since Covid but saw they added back in-person also. They have various locations throughout the world and they don’t try to sell you anything. Positive vibes to you and yours. ❤️
 
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Number 9

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Bear with me - I’m dont work for them or anything, but ever hear of the Landmark Forum? It made a big difference in my life. It is kind of a lot of $ (for me, anyway… and I am ready for a refresher) but life-changing for me and maybe could be for you or you both? It is a long weekend workshop and teaches an entirely new way of thinking. I think they may still do online since Covid but saw they added back in-person also. They have various locations throughout the world and they don’t try to sell you anything. Positive vibes to you and yours. ❤️
I appreciate the idea and I’ll definitely give it some thought. You are wonderful!
 
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I have been pissed at my own species for some time, but I try to focus on the positive things over the negatives. There's a balance. Sometimes I sway one way or the other, but I make an effort to keep myself level. I try to not be reactionary (which I was very much so for a long time and some readers here may think I haven't changed at all, but I have and I'm glad for it) I try not to make assumptions. I think that might be part of why I post less frequently than I used to. I've grown. I'm still me, but I've learned that reacting is a decision.

Blame is a game that no one wins. So I don't play it anymore. Again, used to. Leather the hard why and observed the consequences of those around me who feel there needs to be a villain in every scenario. Sometimes it's not that simple.

Acceptance is one of the most valuable abilities I've gained over the years. I'm still pissed, but I don't take it out on others and I don't try to force the world to be the way I think it should be. Because I'm just a fuckin spec in all reality. Just a moment in time. Life's too fuckin short to stay angry at things that don't actually matter. Nothing really does. And everything also does. It's a butt
A bad temper is not a sign of an angry person. More likely an unhappy one. Once you realize that you’re not responsible for things you have no control over—it frees you—and let’s you focus on things you control, change or influence.