pissed off: ink pen/dryer/ruined clothes

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by NCbear, Jan 7, 2009.

  1. NCbear

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    I just have to ask the question to see whether I'm the one in our relationship who's from outer space:
    If by chance your significant other/spouse/main squeeze was forgetful and washed and dried a ballpoint ink pen with about $200 (replacement cost) of your nicest-looking "el cheapo" acrylic sweaters (you know, the ones that only look like wool, but still look good enough in a pinch to stand in for a sport coat on "casual Fridays"), and if by chance your dryer was the type with a fabric flange to help the drum go around, and if by chance every single flipping cleaning method you've tried cannot get the damned ink stains out of the fabric flange, which means you now have to replace a $500 dryer due to a fuckup caused by a 50-cent ballpoint ink pen . . .

    would you be pissed off beyond belief, even temporarily?
    I tried to hold on to my temper, but damn, this is the same man who washed and dried two pairs of $50 wool slacks last year. (Of course, they were mine as well.)

    He is a good bit less disturbed by this than I am, which of course pisses me off more.

    I can't fail to see the humor in his practicality, though: if it's already fucked up, there's no point--to him--in getting upset about it. I wish I could feel that way, but maybe I will in a few hours.

    NCbear (who may take this opportunity to get a better-quality washer as well--but whose man will only pay for the dryer and the ruined clothes)
     
  2. NCbear

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    P.S. Large-cost fuckups piss me off in the moment. If I'd made the mistake, I'd be really pissed off at myself.

    P.P.S. I'll make sure he knows I love him, even though I'm temporarily pissed off--and that I'll try to get over it relatively quickly. He's having a difficult time starting his photography business, which probably means he was distracted and just made a simple mistake that any of us could make.

    NCbear (whose anger is draining away as he types--and as he realizes that money comes and goes, but love is forever)
     
  3. Pitbull

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    Shit happens.

    He is paying for the dryer and clothes so he is owning up to his mistake.

    Keep the big picture in mind - what is more important your relationship or some clothing.

    Bears should be naked anyway.
     
  4. hung15us

    hung15us Member

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    Ther is no excuse to not check the pockets and know that wool can not be washed in the machines. As for the dryer check with a cleaners and the repair shop as to get the ink out. NOW as for him I'd maybe kill him and if it was my wife she may die also. Stupid will keep going along and if that person thinks it's funny get rid of them. My son and his girl friend at that time were fighting and punching holes in the walls they got so mad at each other. I was talking to my daughter and she said (their is no one that gives head good enough to put up with that shit) Maybe you should take hed as to what she said.
     
  5. NCbear

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    Yeah, you're right, Pitbull. Thanks for helping me keep some perspective. I'd already started to calm down considerably, but your comments resonated with me anyway.

    NCbear (who agrees that bears tend to be born naked and stay naked :biggrin1::tongue::cool:)
     
  6. MickeyLee

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    i am the idgit leaving things in my pockets all the time.

    i washed and dried a pair of jeans with a bullet in the pocket. did you know that when a bullet get tumbled on high it's the same as shooting them out of a gun? i didn't. it was only a .22 but the dry drum has a huge dent in it.

    possible dryer fixes.

    have you tried hairspray? hairspray gets the ink out of everything. i draw comic books i know ink stains. my dryer knows ink stains.

    or two towels soaked in diluted bleach. toss in the dryer and run. open windows or turn on any exhaust fans cuz the odor is brutal. *yes i have done this a few times*

    ML

    OFF! bug spray works for the metal parts of dryers. not sure about that flangie thing.
     
    #6 MickeyLee, Jan 8, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2009
  7. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    I feel for you bear! Mr. Ed is prone to the same kind of stupidity himself
    which absolutely drives me insane. How can a man not know these "common sense" issues? An ancient man!
    Arrgh!!!
    Yes you are right Pitbull my pal, but in the moment
    you just want to shake the dumb right out of them.
    Naked bears belong in our naked camp in the woods! :naughty:
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
    #7 B_cigarbabe, Jan 8, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2009
  8. Branleur49008

    Branleur49008 New Member

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    Been there, done that. My partner, wonderful man that he is, is a complete dork when it comes to doing laundry. Doesn't sort colors, washes everything in warm. Drives me fucking INSANE. I have no idea where he picked up this really bad method of doing laundry since his mom is the epitome of a perfect mom and does everything around her own house nearly damned perfect as far as I can tell. I don't know for a fact, but I'm willing to bet she does laundry the way it's supposed to be done. She raised a wonderful son, but she missed the boat on teaching him how to do laundry <okay...rant mode is now on "off">

    Growing up, we had a maid/laundry person (no, I didn't grow up fabulously wealthy, but lived overseas in a country where we could afford such luxuries), and I have always LOATHED doing laundry (but at least when I do it, I do it CORRECTLY!). He has a more flexible schedule than I and doesn't mind doing laundry, so he ends up doing by far the greatest amount of the laundry. After him having ruined several pieces of my clothing and us getting into many arguments over how to do laundry, I came up with the following solution which has managed to keep the peace between us now for several years:

    I have two dirty laundry hampers of two different designs (so they are not easily confused for one another). One is for stuff that he is not to wash, EVER. I launder that stuff on my own.

    The other hamper is stuff that makes no difference if he washes on what I call "uni-cycle". I made a promise not to whine and moan about his method of doing laundry as long as he leaves the other hamper alone, since I hate laundry and he ends up doing most of it.

    Try it...it might just save your relationship. I know it did mine! :)

    No as for ruining the DRYER...yeah, I'd be pissed too.
     
    #8 Branleur49008, Jan 8, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2009
  9. dickman45885

    dickman45885 New Member

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    Pissed is pissed. Might I suggest the following....before you even take your clothes off, empty the pockets. I have had clothes, pens etc ruined. I finally learned, my clothes, my responsibility to empty my pockets etc before I wash my clothes. I wash my clothes because I know how I want them done. My wife is a firm believer in HOT wash, Hot Rinse and HOT dry til the cows come home.
     
    #9 dickman45885, Jan 8, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2009
  10. Earthbound

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    Replacing the drum and "fabric flange" (what is that exactly?) is likely cheaper than a new dryer.
     
  11. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Not all ink will come out with hairspray. Some formulas have been changed, and hairspray no longer works on them. You might contact the manufacturer of the pen to ask if they have any suggestions.
    I'd make an aggreement with him right now. Do not ever wash another piece of my clothing again. I will do my own laundry. Yes it is that big of an issue to me.
     
    #11 D_Bob_Crotchitch, Jan 8, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2009
  12. prepstudinsc

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    I'm just trying to figure out what an acrylic sweater is. I've seen cotton sweaters, wool sweaters, cashmere sweaters and blends of other fine materials, but I don't think I've ever seen an acrylic one. All my sweaters are either merino wool or cashmere.

    Can a dry cleaner not get the stain out?
     
  13. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    can't imagine

    I don't get emotional over physical non-living objects

    or things that only exist in your mind (like money)
     
  14. earllogjam

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    I'm not sure exactly what a dryer flange is or where the ink exploded but...

    Have you used nail polish remover? the kind with acetone? It usually works on getting ink off anything. The other suggestion I have is to run 2 towels dipped in a diluted bleach/water solution thru the dry cycle once.

    My other suggestion in for each of you to do your own laundry SEPARATELY. That will eliminate the blame game.
     
  15. MarkLondon

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    The only tme this happened to me it was a pen that had fallen through a hole in the pocket and gotten into the space between the outer and the lining in my first ever white jacket. So much for wearing light colours! At least I had no-one else to blame.
     
  16. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

    D_Hyacinth Harrytwat Account Disabled

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    I hear ya. It takes every ounce of willpower I can muster to not write a list of "how to do things right" in my apartment because I really hate wasting things because someone wasn't thinking.

    But then I get to thinking that maybe they have a lot they want to tell me too :p
     
  17. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    I know that I have done a few stupid things myself with the laundry so I really don't have any room to talk. Like forgetting to check the pockets of my husband's jeans or pants and washing his wallet. Yeah he wasn't too happy with me. But he was the one that put the pants in the dirty laundry hamper with the wallet in it so it was both of our fault. I haven't ever put anything in the dryer. I have always caught my mistake before putting anything in the dryer. And you can get the ink from a busted pen out of a shirt if you haven't put it in the dryer. ( I have been there and done that) But if you put the shirt in the dryer it sets the stain and I haven't had any luck with me or the dry cleaners being able to get the stains out after it has been in the dryer. Just my experience.
     
  18. koval

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    Two words for people doing their laundry, "Color Catcher". I always shove one into the washer when doing my laundry and it never fails to save my clothes such as the time a red T-shirt was mixed in with the white laundry.
     
  19. NCbear

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    Whoo-ee! I didn't know this was such a hot topic! I was just venting for a moment while I was still rather pissed off.

    We talked, and he was upset at my being so upset because of the way I rubbed his nose in it. He understood why I was pissed off, though, because he has similar feelings about the way I waste money whenever I do something that wastes money.

    He cleaned the entire drum and fabric flange (it's the circular piece of thick nonflammable fabric that allows the drum to turn in a rather cheap dryer) with rubbing alcohol, which we found is an excellent solvent (hairspray only works because of the percentage of alcohol in it). It looks as though the dryer is OK now (a load of whites--underwear and socks, NOT dress shirts--came out with no stains) and the sweaters and dress pants are clean now with a second washing. My jeans and his (which were of course the ones with the ink pen in them) are still stained, but I'm going to try the rubbing alcohol trick a little later and see whether it works.

    [Note to prep--acrylic sweaters are sold in lower-end department stores in designs that copy nice fabrics such as the ones you listed. Many of us on this site may have less expensive clothes than you do.]

    Thanks for the helpful/thoughtful/considered comments, those of you who made them. I appreciate especially the reminder that clothes are purely material things and that his and my relationship are much more important than that. I knew this, of course, but it was difficult to remember in the heat of the moment (when I thought I'd have to replace a $500 dryer and $200 in clothes virtually immediately).

    NCbear (who's in a much better frame of mind, now, about laundry issues :redface::biggrin1:)
     
  20. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    There is a product that is sold at grocery stores. It has diff formulations for the diff stain types. It is called "Carbona Stain Devils". I have used the one for rust with great success.
     
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