Please and Thank You

Principessa

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
Posts
18,660
Media
0
Likes
135
Points
193
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I hear it more in my small town than in the big city, Reno or Chico, or even in small cities. I use thank you a lot in my business for many reasons. In general, I have found that small towns and rural areas are more polite. Since I moved to rural Georgia from suburban New Jersey in June I have been surprised at how polite and chatty complete strangers are. My parents have been here 3 years and my dad still marvels at the innate kindness of the people he meets.

I had a new secretary/book-keeper once and at the end of her first day of work I said "Thank You" as she left, she turned around and asked me "What did you say?", she then asked me why I said that, I replied thank you for showing up, doing a good job and just for being happy and efficient, it turns out that she had never been thanked for doing her job before. Sad.
Sad but true. I have had many jobs in my life and rarely have I been thanked for doing a good job. :frown1:

I live on the outer edge of a bus route here in the metro Washington DC area, and folks on this route don't just generally say "thank you" to the driver, they know his name, and he knows many of his regular riders. When riding on a different route, yes, I thank the driver, as do most of the other riders. I can't figure out why some people think it's unusual, or a bad thing, to be pleasant to others.

I also think it's criminal that all parents don't teach their children basic manners and social skills.


You ride the bus? :confused: For some reason I envisioned you tooling about the capitol in a Volvo or BMW.

Unfortunately many children are not reared properly these days. They just sort of grow up with minimal instruction in how to behave in polite society. :frown1::mad:

It doesn't matter where you live. If you were brought up to respect the rights of others and be polite than you would say please or thank you no matter where you are.
My parents are older than many of my peers; consequently I was raised "old school." I can remember my great-grandmother telling me when I was quite young that it didn't matter how much money you had, if you have good manners you can go anywhere and fit in.
 

AlteredEgo

Mythical Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2006
Posts
19,176
Media
37
Likes
26,249
Points
368
Location
Hello (Sud-Ouest, Burkina Faso)
Sexuality
No Response



You ride the bus? :confused: For some reason I envisioned you tooling about the capitol in a Volvo or BMW.

Not me. I envisioned a hybrid with the occasional trip on mass transit (including the bus). Mr. Deep does not strike me as the sort to drive around without carpooling! :biggrin1:
 

snoozan

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2006
Posts
3,449
Media
0
Likes
22
Points
183
Sexuality
No Response
I know teaching my daughter to say please and thank you is an ongoing task. I do not let it slide if she forgets to say thank you or please. It is my job to make sure she treats others with respect and use her manners.

My son is two and change and "thank you" is one of the phrases he uses all the time. He doesn't always use it at the right time, but I think just using it ourselves in the home helps a lot.

I try to say thank you a lot. I hope I'm successful at it.

I really admire my husband-- he's completely socially clueless but incredibly kind, so he always acknowledges people, smiles, says thank you, and is generally very genial to perfect strangers at times when I'd rather just get on with what we're doing with as little contact as possible. I think he's doing it the right way more than I am.
 

Gisella

Expert Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2006
Posts
4,822
Media
0
Likes
114
Points
193
Location
USA
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
I'm a polite person, in my experiences I have no problem saying "thank you"..but I do have with the "I'm sorry"...dont know but many times I said people may find unecessary: "you dont need to be sorry for.." well, in my language I'm sorry = desculpa...everybody say it and receive without problems...forgive me= perdoa-me is a more heavy word of course. Than my conclusion is that many disregard my sorries.

In my experiences too passengers of buses etc are generaly more polite than the drivers anyways...the most polite bus drivers I saw etc was in south of England. Well then "everybody" were really polite, passengers, bus drivers, predestrians etc comming from a country big cities bus drives , cab drivers, all drives have psycko episodes going on andd much hit and run etc acting as beast brutus, that experience of huge road politness was unforgetable.
 

Principessa

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
Posts
18,660
Media
0
Likes
135
Points
193
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Not me. I envisioned a hybrid with the occasional trip on mass transit (including the bus). Mr. Deep does not strike me as the sort to drive around without carpooling! :biggrin1:

Great minds truly think alike. :smile: I almost said Prius, but I think he's too tall for one of those.


DC_Deep manages to exude intelligence, humor, kindness and elegance in his posts. So I thought of vehicles which would fit him physically; but also his innate sense style.

I have been coveting the Highlander Hybrid for a while now but they are sooo expensive!
 

SpeedoGuy

Sexy Member
Joined
May 18, 2004
Posts
4,166
Media
7
Likes
41
Points
258
Age
60
Location
Pacific Northwest, USA
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
I had an underlying theme here, DC. Too many men (and plenty of women also) believe courtesy or politeness is somehow a sign of weakness, and thus, they fear being polite and hence, seen as weak.

Agreed. And its even more evident when it comes to saying "I'm sorry" for clear mistakes. Few have the courage to do it because its a definite no-no in the macho/he-man world: no matter what the error, never apologize because it looks like weakness. Just look at our president's failure to own or apologize for his mistakes.
 

DC_DEEP

Sexy Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2005
Posts
8,714
Media
0
Likes
93
Points
183
Sexuality
No Response
You ride the bus? :confused: For some reason I envisioned you tooling about the capitol in a Volvo or BMW.
I ride the bus, because otherwise, it would be a 10-mile walk to the train/subway station!:biggrin1:
Our one car is an old, but well-maintained, Honda Accord. No way would I drive a Volvo or BMW.
Not me. I envisioned a hybrid with the occasional trip on mass transit (including the bus). Mr. Deep does not strike me as the sort to drive around without carpooling! :biggrin1:
Closer, in terms of the type of car... but we only drive if we absolutely have to, for three reasons: we both HATE HATE HATE the traffic, and it's more ecologically friendly to take mass transit, and we both hate the reality and the principle of the gasoline prices (by that, I mean the actual cost to fill up, plus the reasons the cost is as high as it is.)

Great minds truly think alike. :smile: I almost said Prius, but I think he's too tall for one of those. [/SIZE]
I've never ridden in one, but yes, at slightly taller than 6' 3", size is a consideration...
DC_Deep manages to exude intelligence, humor, kindness and elegance in his posts. So I thought of vehicles which would fit him physically; but also his innate sense style.
THANK YOU, DEAR! You are too kind!

Agreed. And its even more evident when it comes to saying "I'm sorry" for clear mistakes. Few have the courage to do it because its a definite no-no in the macho/he-man world: no matter what the error, never apologize because it looks like weakness. Just look at our president's failure to own or apologize for his mistakes.
And the funny thing is, I actually respect the people willing to say their "mea culpae" than those who are not...
 

snoozan

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2006
Posts
3,449
Media
0
Likes
22
Points
183
Sexuality
No Response
And the funny thing is, I actually respect the people willing to say their "mea culpae" than those who are not...

I agree with you. I think the ability to look at yourself, assess your actions honestly, and know when they are wrong and then carry through a sincere apology is a sign of a truly strong person.
 

SpeedoGuy

Sexy Member
Joined
May 18, 2004
Posts
4,166
Media
7
Likes
41
Points
258
Age
60
Location
Pacific Northwest, USA
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
And the funny thing is, I actually respect the people willing to say their "mea culpae" than those who are not...

Even uglier than the failure to apologize is the propensity to blame the victim for the error. ie. If I painfully step on your foot, its your fault for putting your foot there. And if the victim objects to this treatment, blame him again for "being a victim." That just another dandy offshoot of macho culture I see far too often.
 

silvertriumph2

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Aug 26, 2007
Posts
5,678
Media
22
Likes
7,403
Points
368
Location
Eastcoast USA (NYC-Manhattan)
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I live in NYC and every time I use the front door of a bus I say thank you to the driver. I would say that 99% of the ones that use the front door do the same. I never thought that it was strange. :confused:

A lot of people think that NYers are rude. Well, I've lived here for many years and after I moved here I quickly discovered that impression was incorrect! I was greatly and pleasantly surprised, to say the least!

I soon found out that it was the "tourists" to New York City that were the ones that were impolite. Of the American visitors, it seems those from the East Coast, the South, and the Mid-West, were the most polite. Those from the West Coast, some Mexicans and South Americans (especially the wealthy ones) are the most impolite of all. Most Europeans, as well as those from the Mid-East and Asia are very polite. I don't know why this is true, but maybe it has something to do with the many and various cultures, or maybe because many are not fluent in a particular language, I just don't know.

The impression of the French is that they are rude (especially the Parisians), but here in NYC I find then extremely polite and charming. Strange? Go figure!

In any case, everyone come to NYC. We love you!
 

Male Bonding etc

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2006
Posts
920
Media
0
Likes
17
Points
163
Location
Southwest USA
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
I almost said Prius, but I think he's too tall for one of those.

I've never ridden in one, but yes, at slightly taller than 6' 3", size is a consideration.
I'm 6'1", and with the seat in its "full upright and locked position," I still have about 3 inches of spare headroom. So, depending on the length of DC's torso and the seat position, he might find he fits... A new model is supposed to be introduced in the summer of 2008, and it might have more room... If the Accord needs to be replaced, a Prius might be worth considering.

I'm hoping some better electric car choices start appearing on the scene... and I do walk or take mass transit when it's practical.

The language we use to express ourselves not only says something to those who encounter us, but it also cues us in to who we think we are... something of a self fulfilling prophesy or a "fake it 'til you make it" kind of thing.

Smile and you feel better. Behave politely and you feel better, as well... The better you feel, the easier it is to feel goodwill towards others... and the easier it is to be polite on a consistent basis.
 

Ethyl

Legendary Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2006
Posts
5,194
Media
19
Likes
1,707
Points
333
Location
Philadelphia (Pennsylvania, United States)
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
I try to pepper my conversation and interactions with "Please" and "thank you" and I think i'm successful most of the time, however, a friend recently noticed I have a knack for being direct at times, almost to the point of being curt, but without being rude. Must be all the years of working in a sales related profession. Takes very little effort to be courteous, puts others at ease, and gets faster results when you need something, most notably customer service.
 

Aitch

Experimental Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Posts
315
Media
0
Likes
2
Points
163
Age
65
Sexuality
No Response
Oooooooooh, you got me started! I put a heck of a lot of emphasis on manners, after all it costs nothing to say 'please' or 'thank you' but sometimes you'd think it must necessitate a mortgage!
However, what REALLY bugs me is people who just say 'Excuse me' rather than 'Excuse me please' or people who walk right in front of me and 'sorry' when they're obviously not in the least bit sorry! And why say 'sorry' instead of 'Excuse me please'? Is it because they know they've been rude? And if they KNOW they've been rude, then why bother saying 'sorry' at all?

Thank you so much for bearing with me during my rant. Please excuse me if I've offended you in any way whatsoever...;-)
 

Male Bonding etc

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2006
Posts
920
Media
0
Likes
17
Points
163
Location
Southwest USA
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
In the end, the results from courtesy are better relations with others. Via those better relations, we can get more of the things we desire and, more critically, the things we need.

It is frustrating to watch people who "just don't get it" banging their heads against the same walls all the time. They wonder why they are not treated with more respect and why they have to work so hard for the things they want and need. "Please" and "thank you" are not the whole of the solution, but they are a significant part of it.
 

B_Think_Kink

Sexy Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2006
Posts
10,419
Media
0
Likes
47
Points
193
Gender
Female
It is quite common to hear it here. Depending on what age group you are around. Elderly are very poilte and children are generally too. The teens are a whole other story.
 

YourAvgGuy

Sexy Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 19, 2006
Posts
494
Media
10
Likes
57
Points
273
Location
North Carolina
Verification
View
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
Having been reared in the south (North Carolina) and having lived here my entire life, common courtesy and polite mannerisms have become pillars of my character. I would not know how else to respond or act towards peoples. It is simply a way of life for me and it is something that I truly value and respect in others.

Besides, had I stepped away from those "pillars," my mother would have had a "come to Jesus meeting" with me! :)
 

yngjock20

Admired Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Posts
4,097
Media
5
Likes
975
Points
333
Location
The Other Valley
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I'm surprised that no So Cal people have commented yet? I'll be the first to agree that in the smaller suburbs, niceties and such are more common; however, in the Cosmo areas (LA, WEHO, OC) it seems as though people are too busy having conversations on their mobile devices to exchange kind words in situations.

I've been raised to always say "please, thank you, etc." when the occasion arises and it does sometimes shock people.

Mostly, when people use "please and thank you" out here it's:

"please shut the fuck up, I'm trying to enjoy my mocha chai frap"

or, "THANK YOU for cutting me off, asshole!!!"