Please help - difficulty coming out

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by horny345, Sep 29, 2009.

  1. horny345

    horny345 New Member

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    I wanted to choose a place where a lot of people would see this post so I could get a lot of responses.
    I want to come out but not to my dad or brother because they're hostile to gay people, but I do want to come out to my mom and there is a chance she might be OK with me being gay.
    I feel that I'm in a rut and that even though I fear coming out greatly, I feel that I need to do it.
    How do I do it? Do I send mom a text, do I talk to her face to face or do I hide behind a door or something and say it so I don't have to look her in the eye (I know this one is strange and cowardly)?
    What words do I use?

    Thanks for the help
     
  2. mongooseontherun

    mongooseontherun New Member

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    i did it face to face with mum, and i wouldnt tell dad for a long while (i ended up telling him while drunk one new year but anyway) kinda snaked around iton mine got a photo that she had taken and said something to do with 3 of them being bi (im actually gay but at the time said i was bi etc) told her to have a gues she picked the ony straight guy there me and another guy.

    so she already knew (hell i had a harder time convincing her that the str8 guy was str8 lol)
     
  3. Snakebyte

    Verified Gold Member

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    I don't want to scare you but there is a chance your mom will tell your dad.
     
  4. Bbucko

    Gold Member

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    Mothers always know but appreciate it when you're honest with them.

    And unless you swear her to secrecy (which I wouldn't recommend BTW), she will tell your father. He may be cooler with it than you think.
     
  5. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    QFT.

    Unless your father wants to be on the outs with your mother, he'll have to accept it; whether he's liberal or conservative, all husbands are whipped to a certain degree. Just be yourself. Be proud and confident about who you are, but don't press your sexuality on any of them: that will backfire and breed contempt. A sense of humor about it definitely helps.

    As for your brother, this is awkward and I don't have much advice. Is he phobic? Is he liberal? Maybe tell him over a beer or while doing some "guy stuff" just tell him that you are gay, but still a guy. I dunno.
     
  6. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    My Mom made it easy on me..........She asked me!.........(Mothers always know)
     
  7. Bbucko

    Gold Member

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    When I finally summoned the courage as age 17, my mother's first response was "You think I'm stupid?"

    FWIW, my mother was the most vocal, virulent homophobe I'd encountered until that point.
     
  8. marriedasian

    marriedasian Member

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    It's too bad that thus far in our age of society there are still a lot of negative when it comes to homosexuality, although we're seeing more and more of it in mainstream tv so i would think that we've come a long way but we're far from acceptance as a total.

    My advice is to tread carefully and tell only people you trust 100%. I've seen some friends become no-more friends because of this, and families as well.

    If your mother is attentive, she may already know. Your father and siblings may need to know when they need to know...
     
  9. ydkj_tx

    ydkj_tx Member

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    I suggest that you decide what exactly you're going to accomplish by coming out to them. Is it going to benefit you more than it will distress your relationship with them? In some instances, "don't ask, don't tell" can be a worthwhile thing...

    If you decide to do so, tell her in person - my guess is that she might be pissed if she gets a text about it - way too impersonal.

    Their reaction to your news belongs to them - you can't do a thing about how they'll feel about it. All you can do is tell them without a chip on your shoulder - and be honest.

    Maybe they'll welcome the news without much fuss, or it could be somewhat traumatic. I'm afraid that it was in my case. My folks, particularly my dad, are homophobes. I spent 3 years without any communication with them - just based on my own stubbornness and need for self-preservation. Luckily, we reconciled just a month or so ago - just a few weeks before my Dad died. My mom told me that he told her that it didn't matter that I was gay - I was still his son and he loved me.

    The moral here - make sure you are going to tell them for the right reasons. It's not lying not to say everything you know. I wish I hadn't said anything to them about it. But, to each his own. Good luck either way -
     
    #9 ydkj_tx, Sep 29, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2009
  10. AZZAWA

    AZZAWA Member

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    Tell your mom in whatever location you feel comfortable - face to face or via phone - whatever you think is best for you. Just say mom I want to tell you something and it is important. Say Mom I am gay. That is all you have to say. Everything else will unfold after that
     
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