please help me with my boyfriend

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Hibun_th, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. Hibun_th

    Hibun_th New Member

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    He loves me, and i love him.. but we're both not out.. we're 20 yo, and although my family is pretty open to gay relationships.. his isnt. Its a pretty religious closed family, who keep asking him to meet his gf. He says he wants to break up with me, and get on with a girl, so that he makes his family AND his friends happy, isntead of making himself happy. A pretty selfless decision.

    Although i want to support him in every decision he makes, as i cant be so selfish as to oblige him to stay with me, deep down i know he's not taking the right path. He will make himself unhappy, his wife, and his chidlren, and maybe fuck up his family later in life if he decides he cant manage his "straight" life.


    I dont even think he can get hard for girls.


    What should i do?
     
  2. Charles Finn

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    not this again just be there for him and be there when he finds out bad idea
     
  3. Hibun_th

    Hibun_th New Member

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    he wants to remain friends.. but i dont think i can see him out with a girl
     
  4. Stephenmass

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    You may find out he's not totally gay either. Let him go...let him find his own way. Not much you can do about it really, sad to say.
     
  5. rayray

    rayray Active Member

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    Come on Charles Finn, he is a new member..Your both are very young and you are right, you cant make his decision..I suggest you give him space.If and when he wants you to be around he will come a callin. It is a process we all have to deal with mostly on our own. You have to think first, if he is still living at home he risks the chance of being put on the street if he is to reveal to his parents his true feelings.You said you don't see him being able to be with a girl, that is something he will figure out on his own since he has a attraction to men.I was 21 and had a 18 year old friend. We were both springboard diver and we never really talked about anything sexual, well he showed up on at my door one night and when i saw who it was i was really surprised because we werent in the same social circle and did not hang out together other then diving. I had a feeling he did'nt showed up for a cup of coffee. I always felt a sexual tention between us during practice. Ended up i was right, he took a shot (risk) and knew we were headed to the bedroom..Nice memory though..He looked like Christopher Atkins during his "Blue Lagoon" days.We got together several more times after that, i don't know why he chose me but today he is a happily married man with 3 kids..I told you this true story because when i read your post it took me back to that time in my life, when things were still confusing and it was an age where he was still exploring, but the 3 years i had on him and for me during the space of those 3 years is where i realized that i was totally gay and knew my direction i was going..He was just not there yet..If you like keep me informed i am interested in the outcome.
     
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