please make suggestions to help me with problem

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by grandunification, Oct 13, 2007.

  1. grandunification

    grandunification Well-Known Member

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    I am 20, and I suffer from a somewhat unknown mental illness called social phobia. I have it on a very high level. Some of my symptoms include: very difficult time talking to people, blushing, difficulty making eye contact with people, and the worst public speaking disasters a human could ever imagine. I have never been on a single date my entire life because of this, and it has destroyed my life. I am honestly inches away from suicide. Any suggestions?

    Thanks,
    grandunification
     
  2. starter

    starter New Member

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    i say join some social groups, find a hobbie and other people with the same interest.... uhh find someone one that forces people to talk if there quite.... that's what i do o_O lol
     
  3. Gillette

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    Posting here or on other forums helps as it gives you a chance to express yourself without the pressure of direct interaction.

    I would suggest you carry that into speaking over a messenger service, first through text, then using a microphone headset for voice conversation. In time, if you feel comfortable enough to be visible on camera, you may be able to train yourself to feel more confident in talking to people face to face in real life as well.

    Most phobias seem to benefit from desensitization, either by gradual exposure to what you fear or by flooding where you're overwhelmed by the experience but survive anyway.

    Are there many people in your life right now who you don't experience these symptoms with?
     
  4. canuck_pa

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    Get professional help as soon as possible.
     
  5. Principessa

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    Please don't kill yourself Grandunification!

    I checked a few sites for treatment and coping skills and came up with these. They seem to be legitimate, but I could be wrong as I am not an expert in this field.

    The one thing I can tell you from my own experience with a generalized anxiety disorder is you must get therapy and medication. Psychotherapy is most commonly offered, but I recommend CBT as it helps you to sort of reprogram your mind so that the things that used to trigger your anxiety no longer will. The best part of it is that it has a begining and an end. So you needn't worry that you will be in therapy for 20 years, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy doesn't work like that.

    Have you checked these sites?
    1. http://www.socialfear.com/
    2. http://www.socialphobia.org/
    3. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/anxiety-disorders/how-to-get-help-for-anxiety-disorders.shtml
    4. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/social_anxiety_support_symptom_causes_treatment.htm#social_anxiety_treatment
     
  6. Principessa

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    InDepth, that was neither helpful, nor funny. :mad:
     
  7. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Hey Grandunification,
    Please find a therapist in your community to talk to,or a psychologist.
    I would really hate to think you are seriously thinking of killing yourself,and I pray that you won't attempt to do this,please.
    If you need to talk to someone in the meantime,I'm here for you.
    If you'd like to talk privately,please get in touch with me. I would be more than willing to help you find someone to talk to in your area,somehow.
    Try not to be so down on yourself. You are very young,to feel so hopeless,babe. I hope we will talk soon.
    Ciao,
    cigarbabe:saevilw:
    That sucked InDepth. Not funny in the least.
     
  8. D_Aston Asstonne

    D_Aston Asstonne Account Disabled

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    Get out and start meeting others,socializing and making things happen.the ONLY thing limiting you is YOU!phobias can and must be overcome.
     
  9. canuck_pa

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    I agree with Gillette and the others, talk openly about your problem. Is there anyone in your life that is aware of your problem? If so talk to them. Do you have a doctor? If not get one. He/she can help you find the a professional that will work with you. Or if you attend a church, they can help you also. This is not a problem you can cure on your own.

    Grandunification, you're at a very difficult age. I have painful memories myself of being 20. As you can see many people want to help you. With help you can look forward to many happy, rewarding years.


    I'm so glad to see so many people jumping in so quickly to help.
     
  10. Not_Punny

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    Hey kiddo, Sorry to hear that you are having these kinds of difficulties.

    I found this video to be very interesting (on Rational Emotive Therapy) (a sort of cousin of CBT which NJQT is recommending).

    Dr Ellis Video on REMT (30 mins --- about 15 mins intro, and about 15 mins of therapy with a patient to show how it's applied)
     
  11. optimum

    optimum New Member

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    I have the same issues. You should see what a nervous wreck I am in front of crowds of people. I also get paranoid that people are watching me wherever I go, to study my every move, and that people are constantly thinking embarrassing things about me.

    I currently visit a psychiatrist and therapist, where I learn how to deal with some of my issues. It's always an option to seek professional help, and get a couple of opinions. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
     
  12. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    If you're inches from suicide then you're in some deep trouble right now. A supportive environment where you can get help is essential. Are you seeing anyone for this and is that person aware of what's going on with you? Is there anyone there you know who you can talk with about this?

    Social phobias are awful. I don't share yours but may have some faint idea in being severely pee shy and mildly agoraphobic. njqut466 is right. CBT with psychotherapy can be enormously helpful. Some drugs can help with these kinds of issues, particularly a combination of Clomipramine with Lorazepam. The drugs won't cure the phobia but can help steady things enough to allow psychotherapy to be effective.

    If you've read the suicide solution thread here, you'll realize you're not alone. Read that thread if you haven't. Many of us have been close to that edge before and have come back. It is possible. This can be beaten and yes it's a lot of work but you can do it and come out better for it.

    You do realize that CBT means something very different to most people here:tongue:?
     
  13. SpoiledPrincess

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    Social fears often go along with social inadequacy and you can't get over this overnight or by flooding. First I'd seek medical help as you seem desperate, then I'd make some sort of plan whereby in little steps you make connections, huge leaps aren't easy to do but it could start off in as simple a way as every day i'm going to go to the corner shop, then i'm going to go out by myself, get a coffee and just try to make small talk with another person on their own, join some sort of outreach group, just make any steps you feel you can to get yourself out and mixing with people.
     
  14. GayBot

    GayBot New Member

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    i AM IN THERAPY MYSELF, DIAGNOSED BIPOLAR WITH HIGH ANXIETY, OVER SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS ON THE HOMEFRONT... I CAN HONESTLY SAY I WAS WERE YOU ARE JUST LAST EVENING. THE BEST THING IS TO LISTEN TO THE GOOD ADVISE OF OTHERS AND TRY TO WAKE UP TO A NEW DAY... MAKE SMALL STEPS, LIKE YOU ARE DOING HERE, THERE ARE ALOT OF GOOD PEOPLE ON THIS SIGHT THAT ARE THERE TO LISTEN AND WILL BE YOUR FRIEND AT ARMS LENGTH, WHICH IS WHAT YOU NEED RIGHT NOW I SUPPOSE. DOES YOUR THERAPIST MAKE YOU NERVOUS TOO, IF SO GET A NEW ONE...AND PLEASE CONTACT ME WHENEVER YOU NEED TO.... I REALLY UNDERSTAND THE DESIRE TO END IT, BUT WILL NEVER PUT MY LOVED ONES THROUGH THAT... YOU CAN GET BETTER BUDDY... ONE STEP AT A TIME, AND THIS IS A GREAT FIRST STEP
     
  15. arliss

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    stop playing games with these people...they are eager to help and you are taking advantage ..shame on you....get a life..if you were inches away from suicide you would not be asking questions on a porno site..if you really need help then go seek therapy...if you were diagnosed with such a disorder then you have seen a therapist and most likely taking meds ..call your therpist...for those who are not familiar with social phobia it is in the DSMIV....dude get a life and stop playing games....and it should be noted (for the general public) when contemplating suicide you do not go on a big dick website and announce such...there are warning signs associated with suicide....your thoughts are not rational and you are certainly are in no mood to sit down and compose yur thoughts in a rational manner to members of a big dick site...furthermore you are doing more harm by trying to offer help to someone with a serious problem when you are ill trained to do so...when someone with a problem asks for help refer them to a doctor ...do not attempt to help when you are not qualified.....
     
  16. GayBot

    GayBot New Member

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    Woa, Arlis Is Harsh... But Makes A Point, If Im A Sucker It Wouldnt Be The First Time
     
  17. dreamer20

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    Find your local chapter of toastmasters. You can practice public speaking and confidence building exercises within this organization.

    Find a Club - Toastmasters International
     
  18. scottbud

    scottbud Active Member

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    I developed this as a teenager too about 14 i was (no problems as a younger kid) and like any other fear i tackled it by trowing myself in the deep end and joined a theatre company and did some acting on stage, forced myself to go to parties and interact with people by 19 I was over it for the most part. Now at 26 I feel it creeping back again as I have stopped all the public speaking etc so am soon to start it up again to keep on top of it.


    Dont give up kid the way you right shows you have a very good command of the language and I believe you would be incredibly interesting to talk to and have fun with. Keep on truckin and have faith in yourself.

    Private message me if you like more than happy to talk to you about anything you like. msn also scottbud@hotmail.com
     
  19. TheRob

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    don't go killing yourself
    areyou interested in Martial Arts
    I would recomend trying that
     
  20. TheRob

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    I dunno about that Arliss in a way your right
    but in another way I've been close to Suicide before and it's sometimes suprising who you go to in those moments
     
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