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OK, I'm somewhat new here. What does that mean?
I don't see any reason not to answer the OP's question, he's just looking for hints to help. Personally I learn a lot from reading what works for others. I dont' use it as a step-by-step guide but someone may post something that I never thought of before that I might want to work into my sessions. I think we can all learn from each other and that's one reason why I like the forum so much. Granted there is a lot that is posted that is not of great value such as the ever present flirtations between members but there is also a lot of very good information to be found posted by members that have a desire to help others. I would rather see us take that attitude.
Yes, verbal hints are very acceptable. I appreciate receiving them as much as receiving feedback because I want to be the best that I can be for my lover. I truly want to give him the best experience he could ever hope for and the best way to do that is to have him tell me what he wants, what feels good to him and what doesn't - to express his fantasies, any suppressed desires, that sort of thing - how else would I ever know what he needs or wants without his input? I cannot read minds.
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It's Latin for large penis SUPPORT group
him: am i choking you right?
me: higher up my neck. a little harder. oh yes!
nope, i don't do words during sex.
it would kill the mood to be asked, regardless of how.
him: am i choking you right?
me: higher up my neck. a little harder. oh yes!
weird that.I'm with you. Mood killing, I won't be able to process the question, and I wouldn't be able to produce an answer.
weird that.
animal brain on, spoken language brain off.
words of any sort are a bit confusing until you snap back out of the sexual state.
I sometimes ask in the heat of the moment, "right there? How about there?" and if I can't find the right spot she guides me.
See, I can't stand that. I fucking hate being asked for directions during sex - makes me feel like yelling - or stopping... or both.
Is that entirely fair? No. But it fucks up sex for me and why would I want to encourage something that kills it for me by answering and pretending I'm OK with it?
Luckily HB is not prone to that at all - spoken comms doesn't bother me during sex. It can't be asking for directions though. I get the occasional 'you like that?' from HB but that's fine because it is always right after I've gasped or moaned or given some other obvious sign of enjoyment and we both know it is a rhetorical question. He doesn't require an answer.