Pleasing the GF

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by averageguy1, Oct 18, 2011.

  1. averageguy1

    averageguy1 Member

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    So here's the story. I've been with my gf for over a year, and had been "hooking up" for a year before we started dating. Thing is, i'm not sure she thoroughly enjoys having sex. I was her first...so she really has nothing to compare to, and i'm pretty average sized. 6.5-7 inches long, and 4.75 inches girth....a little on the thin side.

    She has never had an orgasm, from me or from masturbating. She says she doesn't enjoy masturbating, but i'm trying to get her to get into it so she can get to know her body and tell me how to make her cum.

    Anyway, just wondering if maybe im not thick enough to really please her. Any thoughts? Ideas?
     
  2. jakesph

    jakesph New Member

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    You have to stimulate her entire mind and body. Get her relaxed. Make it sensual as opposed to just fucking. The more into it you make her the more likely she will orgasm.
     
  3. averageguy1

    averageguy1 Member

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    Oh she also has a tilted uterus, which makes some positions uncomfortable for her...haha clearly we're struggling
     
  4. jakesph

    jakesph New Member

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    Honestly, id go see a doctor and ask if there are any positions that wouldn't be uncomfortable for her. Or if you don't mind or if she doesn't get a vibe for clitoris play. My fiancee and I use it while having sex! We have the jimmyjane form 2 powerful vibe that doesn't get in the way in missionary or doggy.
     
  5. strauss1

    strauss1 Member

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    It's not all that uncommon. A girl that does not regularly masturbate or is unable to orgasm regularly (or at all?) from masturbation will have a real challenge orgasming from sexual activity with a partner. The best thing to do is not to pressure her, don't hound her about orgasms, just help her to relax and be comfortable with you and with sex. Let her experience pleasure with you without any expectations from you for her to orgasm.

    Unfortunately I also know, the very worst thing you can do is to get frustrated with her or express your insecurity about her not orgasming. It's hard to not think it's something you're doing wrong or that you are inadequate in some way. But it sounds like that is far from the truth. Try to understand that it's probably a sensitive insecurity for her too, and be strong about your own insecurities that her inability to climax helps create and/or strengthen.

    It's a thin line though between being genuinely interested in her pleasure and satisfaction and getting frustrated that "it's not working". Too little concern makes you a selfish lover and too much will be seen as pressuring her. Try to walk the line as best you can. :smile:
     
  6. d_michael

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    i cannot back this post anymore than this writer.... having been a formerly married guy, i think it was one of the big things that killed my marriage
     
  7. ShannonH

    Gold Member

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    If you're 7" long, properly measured (not from underneath.. 7" from your asshole sort of thing) then you're not average but actually fairly long. 4.75" around is pretty much spot-on the 50th percentile, so you might look thinner but only because of your length.
    Draw a line up from the 7" mark here to see how high a % of the population is shorter than you:
    File:penis percentile.svg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    and from 4.75" to see how incredibly common your girth is:
    File:penis circum percentile.svg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Again, make sure you're measuring right. I think most of the supposedly 7-8" guys out there are actually measuring from way off to the side, or worst of all from underneath..

    I don't want to be offensive or insulting, but I think if your girlfriend doesn't orgasm and your immediate thought is "hey, my dick's probably too small! I'll go ask some strangers on a forum about it", then you really haven't been attentive and communicative with her.

    Most people, men and women, come much more easily with themselves than they do with a partner. It's a much more relaxed atmosphere (stress/pressure is probably the biggest orgasm killer), you can match your rhythm purely for your own release, and you can do it as much or as little as you want. It's her orgasm, not yours, so if she was really interested in getting there she'd be practising it on her own.
     
  8. cd1985

    cd1985 Member

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    That's the best way I've ever heard it phrased. :smile:

    I'm in a similar situation - girlfriend was a virgin, never masturbated, claims to have had no libido whatsoever. At this point, we've been dating for a year and having sex for just over 10 months. I gave her the first orgasm of her life by performing cunnilingus, and that was our only method for months. I ate a lot of pussy (thankfully, I don't mind doing it at all.) Slowly, we began to work in a little pen-style vibrator which she'd use to manipulate her clit while I thrusted. That almost always yielded an orgasm, and probably formed some association in her subconscious between penetration and orgasm, because in the last month or so, she has been able to orgasm through intercourse with no mechanical assistance. It typically requires a lot of oral stimulation to her breasts, for what it's worth.

    At times, it can be very frustrating to be with a woman who has never experienced a strong curiosity of her own sexuality and taken the time to cultivate her libido. I lost my virginity to her, but I'd had nearly 15 years of "solo flight," so to speak, and knew the ins and outs of my equipment quite well.

    As always, "your mileage may vary."
     
  9. Ravager

    Ravager New Member

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    sorry dude but your girth isn't just thin it's miniscule.
     
  10. B_rivalsrivals

    B_rivalsrivals New Member

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    that's ok anyway.
     
  11. upone

    upone New Member

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    I've been there, so let me make a few suggestions:

    1) Don't worry about your size. It's fine.

    2) I know how hard it is to talk about this stuff with a woman; they always seem afraid of saying something "wrong". But you really need to find out how important this is to her. Whatever her feelings are now, keep the topic open in case she changes her mind.

    That being said, over the years I've been really close to three "non-orgasmic" women. They all shared some characteristics: Very little or no experience with masturbation; a strongly anti-sexual religious experience as a child; and a reluctance to talk about sex.

    The first was a high school girlfriend that I've stayed in touch with over the years. We have been on-and-off sexual for more than 40 years. In the first years we tried most everything to no avail. We both had a variety of partners; then in our late 50s we got together, shared old times, and she told me that when she was 40 she started having orgasms, and thought it was great. Of course, we did it, and she went off.

    The second woman was a real mystery to me. We hooked up in our late 20s and swapped spit on and off for about five years. What made it strange was that she had been a nude model, worked in porn, and had a lot of partners. We got along well, lived together for a while, but she never orgasmed. I wrote about the experience with her in the marijuana thread, because we tried drugs along with sex a lot. She let me do whatever I wanted, including giving her oral sex; but what she did most was blow me. She had great technique and enthusiasm, but for her it seemed like it was an academic exercize. She never orgasmed; she told me that she thought female orgasms were a myth. She had had at least a hundred partners of both sexes by then, and I haven't heard from her since we broke up.

    The third woman was in her mid-20s when we hooked up. I was about ten years older. She wasn't orgasmic when we started; we talked about it and I persuaded her to try masturbation. After some solo work, she started having orgasms, and she developed quite a taste for rough sex.
     
    #11 upone, Oct 20, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2011
  12. strauss1

    strauss1 Member

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    4.75 is not that far off from average from any realistic and reliable studies I have seen.
     
  13. henry8888

    henry8888 Member

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    It is average.....
    5 inches girth is above average.
     
  14. phndoc

    phndoc Member

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    Just take your time. It isn' t about the big O all the time. She has to be relaxed and sometimes it takes the lady a while to relax. It took me years to get my wife going, because nither of us had been with anyone. We just crossed 30 years and it still takes her a while to relax but, worth it.
     
  15. B_duanculo

    B_duanculo New Member

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    you realize he said 4.75 GIRTH right? i know it's very average and doesn't look big but looking at your pics, you're not that girthy either so don't be so quick to knock anybody down
     
  16. Infernal

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    It sounds as if she isn't' in touch with her own body. If she doesn't know what stimulates her, how can she express what she needs from you ? I say you should encourage her to try masturbation, and maybe be there to help her along so you can both figure things out.
     
  17. averageguy1

    averageguy1 Member

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    Upon another measurement, im actually 6.5 by 4.5.

    Anyway, thanks guys for all the answers. We've talked about incorporating vibrators, thats the next step.
     
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