The former happens as part of the sex. You're fucking me, going down on me (I'm talking as a woman
), I want you to spank my arse, my pussy, bite my nipples, my lips, nip my labia etc etc to enhance the orgasm/experience.
The latter is a specific planned exploration of the effects of pain, control, abuse even and submission.
I see the latter as being on a different level to the former.
I disagree. A couple can be participating in s/m to a fairly high degree without any kind of a specific planned exploration. A specific planned exploration often occurs, particularly where D/s is involved, but it isn't a necessary criterion.
Both. I was actually referring to taking, but it's DEFINITELY both. I'm attracted to the potentially overwhelming intensity of it.
Well, in the 'referring to taking' sense, we'd be hopeless together :frown1:. I don't have a sadistic bone in my entire body. If you can do both however . . . :tongue:
Yes. I guess I'm afraid of misreading bad pain as good pain, and then just plowing away unawares. I can be spacy at inopportune moments and sometimes lose awareness of important things. :redface:
Okay, being spacey does not mix well with s/m play. Well, the masochist can get by with floating (I am a prime example :redface
, but it's not such a great thing for the person inflicting the pain. It's sort of important that you stay with it and in control.
My advice in this case would be to learn to stay focused, and to only push your partner a little at a time until you learn how to read them well. Everyone has their own signs of when it's too much, although some signs are more common than others.
For me as a Sadist I get off on inflicting pain because I get the reaction and I get to watch them process it.
The session really doesn't even have to have a sexual context for me to get aroused from inflicting the pain.
The rush, the mind fuck, the sounds they make and the way I mark up their skin, the tears running down their faces arouses me to nth degree.
Okay, that tweaked at my 1% :biggrin1:.
For me, the sexual context thing is not entirely straight forward. Pain itself (of certain kinds) can feel pleasurable without a sexual context. I am particularly susceptible to pleasure from scratching, sexual context or no sexual context.
In a more general sense, the situation doesn't have to be specifically sexual for me to get off on pain inflicted by a partner. However, a partner inflicting pain usually results in instant arousal, making it a sexual context. And where it isn't a sexual context to start off with, it's usually in a D/s context, which also results in instant arousal. Which means it's always bloody sexual for me :tongue:.
It is???
Yes..I'm lucky that I also get off on straight vanilla sex as well and my range of sexual tastes and appetites are broad.
You ARE lucky. Vanilla does absolutely nothing for me these days.
There's something animalistic and taboo about delivering pain to the one you love. The paradox is that the pain isn't interpreted by the body as pain, it registers more like a sensory additive.
I wish there had been more studies done on this. I would LOVE to know what's going on neurologically to produce this effect.
And if I'm not walking funny the next day and I'm not wearing bruises for days afterwards I know you wimped out on me.
This :biggrin1:. Only my bruises last for weeks and it's still not enough.
