Point of No Return - 14, 15 or 16?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by GuyanaPrince, Apr 1, 2006.

  1. GuyanaPrince

    GuyanaPrince New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    There's a thread somewhere on this forum, where a guy is wondering if he should pork his str8, married friend. I was against it, but, I guess if the married guy takes him on, he isn't so str8 after all. Bi, maybe.

    So, that question got me thinking.

    In my opinion, if you're still cornholing, faking, sword-fighting or jacking your buddy beyond the age of fifteen, you've turned a corner and are probably full-gay or bi. Not an anti-gay statement - just an observation. :cool:

    Exploration is natural, I understand; however, I can't accept that you just go on poking around forever. At some point, you're playing for one team or another, or you've consciously decided to play for both, but you are no longer experimenting or exploring. Whatever same-sex action you've got happening as an adult (even mid-teen) is what it is, gay or bi - you've made a decision.

    [I know this might be better-suited in 'Young Hung', but I don't post there, because I think the ages should be separate. Sorry.]
     
  2. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    there is no intellectual exercise quite as futile as trying to stick labels on human sexuality.
     
  3. windtalkerways

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2006
    Messages:
    2,116
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canada
    I think that is a bit early for some
    young males to make up
    their mind.

    Some guys in their 20s still have
    'unsure' in their profiles because they
    are still trying to discover who they
    really are.

    I'd say a guy who is married and
    is still into sex with men is kidding
    himself if he still considers himself
    straight.

    Some people have trouble with labelling
    but I think as a topic of discussion,
    just to exchange ideas on the subject,
    then it should be okay.
     
  4. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,430
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,487
    Location:
    United States
    I presently label myself heteroflexible. When asked, I say I'm straight. I don't really like women, as a rule, but women with certain body types, very different from my own, who are also stunning and have the right personality turn me on the way good-looking, confident men do. I'm far choosier about women. A woman has to be a "perfect ten" for me with regards to both looks and personality before I even entertain the idea of exploring sexually with her, whereas a man could be more like a seven and we might find ourselves fooling around one day. I have never, would never have a relationship with a woman. Out of the question. I have only had that kind of emotional connection to men, and don't feel capable of relationg romantically to a woman. I think I'd have to kill her three days in. Maybe four. Five, tops, sionara. There's the background for my opinion.

    I feel, as a basically heterosexual woman, like I'm still exploring my "heterosexual urges" for lack of a better description. When I have sex with men, I still learn new things about my body, a man's body, giving and receiving pleasure. There are things I enjoy now as a 26 year old woman, sexually active for 11 years, that I believed I would never want to try when I was 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. For labelin'g sake I accept certain labels. But I'll be exploring for a long time. Some here may even have noticed (or not) that my stat's shifted from 70%/30% to 80%/20% a couple of weeks ago. I find myself less and less attracted to women. As a girl, there were times when my sole interest was in other girls. I wanted them to pretend to be boys, but I wanted them to be girls, that's certain.

    No. I don't believe there's a cut-off. Exploration leads to growth. Life is about growth. There are only two stages of life: Growth, death. Anything that isn't growing is dying.
     
  5. D_Adoniah Sheervolume

    D_Adoniah Sheervolume Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    503
    Likes Received:
    1
    it absolutely doesn't matter WHEN one comes to a realization, about sex or anything else. people change in many ways all the time.

    one of the things i look for in a potential mate is if i can imagine us supporting and encouraging each other to GROW and evolve. it's amazing how many just want you to be exactly as they met you (or more specifically, what they THOUGHT you were when they met you...).

    the "point of no return" is whenever one decides he/she has reached it, if ever!
     
  6. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,037
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nowhere near you
    I was "experimenting" with guys from about age 20 until a couple of years ago. Haven't had any inclination to do anything m/m since then.

    So. Am I bi, and in a lull? Or was I bi, and bi no longer? Or was I just experimenting, past my best before date?

    Maybe your cutoff is 15, but some of us are late bloomers. Hope you don't get a shock one day :wink:
     
  7. knowit

    knowit Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2005
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm with everyone else. There is no real cutoff, it is impossible to place anything concrete on the human psyche.
     
  8. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    160
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    I think there can't be a fixed cutoff point; it really does depend on each individual. For me it was never a question for one second. I was sure well before 14.
     
  9. SomeGuyOverThere

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2004
    Messages:
    1,496
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    IMHO you can only apply absolute cutoffs in mathematics.

    You can look at what's happening inside a computer and say with certainty when something happens, when a cutoff is reached.

    Human beings aren't computers. We are analogue beings made of fallable flesh and bone and our minds are made of tiny electric pulses and subtle chemical changes.

    It is impossible to say when there is a "cutoff", not least because everyone is totally different and because we all develop at different speeds and reach sexual and mental maturity at different times of our lives.
     
  10. 2Bo

    2Bo New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2005
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    The point of no return isn't a big issue: its a choice that one makes. Technically speaking it doesn't matter for the body when one cums in (the presence of) a male or female, or both.

    I don't fuck or cum in (the precense of) others than my wife because I am happily married now. Even though my (and her) meat sometimes aches to do otherwise; I recon its a question of allegiance, and keeping the relation a general easy ride.... (pun intended)

    I my early days it was not so, and was often happy to go into the invitations that came along my path :)

    So the point of no return would be until the day one makes a commitment to another (for life). To me that was when I was 24ish.
     
  11. ChuckRich

    ChuckRich New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2006
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    SC, USA
    If the cutoff point is supposed to be 14-16 then I'd have been stuck as an asexual eunuch my whole life since I hadn't done anything with anyone by that time. Not even a real kiss. So does your theory have any exceptions for people who don't even start exploring until well after 16?
     
  12. GuyanaPrince

    GuyanaPrince New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    I don't even think I knew one orientation from the other, until age nine. Even the, I thought gay was somebody, who acted or danced like a girl. In my mind, as was the case with most of my peers, gay had nothing to do with sex. There was a story floating around about Rod Stewart having a pound of cum pumped out of his stomach, but I still didn't get it.

    By that time, I had tried or come damn close to everything I'd later learn was 'gay' in summer camp, or whenever adults weren't watching. The only thing I can say for sure I never tried was full anal penetration - cornholing. Everything else was just poking around and figuring stuff out. I think we called anything sex-related 'nasty', and the word 'gay' just wasn't in our vocabulary.

    And I don't regret it, either.

    When we started really courting girls out of genuine interest or sexual curiosity (instead of just imitating adults), I knew exactly what I wanted, and it wasn't cornholing or faking. It was p-u-s-s-y - as much as I could get.

    I'd say my point of no return was likely twelve.

    After the age of twelve, faking or jacking off with another male would have been awkward for me. I think I would have been very aware that it was real sex happening, and not just horsing around or bouncing on each other's butts. For me, getting too close to another guy felt uncomfortable and wrong.

    I doubt that what passed for horseplay, when I was coming up, would be called anything but sexual in the post-AIDS scare, right-wing conservative America. Today, kids are being bombarded with sex from every angle of the media; so, maybe people do need more time to make up their minds about things. Who knows?

    Thanks for all this feedback, everybody.

    I'm still against a guy porking his married friend, who's obviously made a decison - he's str8. He's also a human being - I think you've got to respect the guy's choice, instead of making an experiment out of him.

    My two. :rolleyes:
     
  13. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    We get the same post over and over about some guy wanting to fuck around with his married and/or str8 buddy. We always get the same answers from my "don't do it!" to "go for it, it's ok as long as nobody finds out" and everything in between. With that said, I detest labels regarding sexuality. I also can't stand people who find the need to attach one to everyone. I am Homoflexible or by the Kinsey Scale, I'm a Kinsey 4. The Kinsey Scale puts sexuality on a continuum:
    0- Exclusively heterosexual

    1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

    2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

    3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual

    4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

    5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

    6- Exclusively homosexual

    For whatever reasons, people's sexuality blooms at different times. I've met 60 year-old guys who went from living the domestic married life to getting fisted in a bathhouse in a few weeks time. This is an extreme example but it happens. I "hopped the fence" at 22. If I didn't have the confines of a committed relationship, I'd still fuck women from time to time. I wouldn't go looking for it but if the opportunity presented itself...why not? I have a friend who lived with another young woman in a lesbian relationship and then broke up with her girlfriend and married a man. She claims to have no urges for the furry clam. She's been married now for about 7 years. I offer these odd examples for this reason: there are no rules with sexuality. There is no "magic age" by which you must decide. Childhood experimentation is normal, everyone does it. It doesn't impact sexuality.
     
  14. BBB2.5

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    5,313
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1,838
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta (GA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I think that our sexuality is established when we are born. Some of us realize this early in life. For me I knew when I was in my early teens. Coming to grips with it did not accrue until the age of 20. Which was my first sexual experience. I never had the desires to be sexual with girls...just boys. So, I think everyone knows how they should be living their life early on. Most cannot not make that final judgment due to circumstances in their own world.
    :tongue:
     
  15. GuyanaPrince

    GuyanaPrince New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Well, I'm not crazy about labels either. It's a shorthand we use to find mate we hope digs the sausage enough to get me off once in a while or make a baby. Beyond that, str8, gay, bi or whatever is a steaming load of crap.

    However, I think there's an age at which you know you prefer one sex over the other, and if you do, the people you're screwing ought to know which. It's not fair to string people along, betraying their belief in you, while you deceive yourself about something so simple as your sexual tastes. [Not talking about Sorceror - just speaking generally.]

    At some point, don't you have to do the math? If you've been humping broads non-stop for ten years, maybe you like broads. if you've been putting it to guys most of your life, you're probably digging that.

    Either way, if you've been at something for awhile [I think you probably know at fifteen or sixteen.], you've passed the experimentation phase - you're a freaking club member.

    There's your point of no return.
     
  16. Lucky_Luke

    Lucky_Luke New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2006
    Messages:
    148
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto
    While it is true that the Kinsey scale describes a 'continuim' of sexualities, the Kinsey data set also shows that 99% of all males have their 'same-sex' experimentation phase during their teenage years. Well over 2/3 of males who do experiment with 'same-sex' behaviour as teens do not repeat the experience beyond their teenage years.

    That is to say, maybe at best, 1% of males might 'discover' same-sex after the age of 18. On this basis, I think it is clear that sexuality is generally 'established' as a teen. Those fellows in their 20's who like to pretend they are 'undecided' are more likely bisexual and may be unwilling to recognise that (and/or are pretending otherwise for various subjective reasons).

    Interestingly enough, with women, the figures are generally reversed - with some 75% of all women's 'same-sex experimentation' occuring after the age of 21. (actual figures may vary, I'm just citing approximate numbers here since I don't remember the exact figures).

    All that being said, I'm not big on 'fixed' labels and do believe that one can technically move around on the Kinsey scale through life. As a teen, I might have been a "3" or "4", yet now I'm a "5" or "6".
     
  17. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    I can't agree with you. I was actively heterosexual until I was 22. Other than a one-time mess-around with a friend at age 11 and a few of us flashing each other when I was 12, I wasn't with a male until I gave a guy a blowjob when I was drunk at age 19 and found it disgusting. I had girlfriends, the last one I lived with for almost 3 years. I didn't leave her because I wanted a man. Late in my 21st year, I had a sensational m4m (my 2nd) experience with a gorgeous big dicked stud and became actively Bisexual.

    By your criteria I'm straight. I had sex with females from the starting line and shooting right past 15, 16, 17 years old...with a history with women far past that.
     
  18. GuyanaPrince

    GuyanaPrince New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2006
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Maybe, you can be different things at different parts of your life.

    Maybe, you're a guy, who screws hot chicks, because they're dropping out of the sky on you, and you never bothered to ask yourself what you really wanted. You just screw what's in front of you. Not my situation [I should be so lucky!], but, I've heard similar stories.

    There's exceptions to every rule, I guess.
     
  19. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2005
    Messages:
    4,730
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Plimoth Plantation
    I agree with Dr. Rock's post on page one.... TOTALLY.:rolleyes:
     
  20. B_IanTheTall

    B_IanTheTall New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2005
    Messages:
    2,766
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NE Ohio, USA
    Other than herding cats...
     
Draft saved Draft deleted