Politically correct in 2005

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by D_Barbi_Queue, Jun 2, 2005.

  1. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

    2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

    3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

    4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

    5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION."

    6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

    7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

    8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

    9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

    10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

    11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She Is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

    12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

    2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

    3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

    4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

    5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

    6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

    7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

    8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

    9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

    10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

    11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
     
  2. db03

    db03 Member

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    Ha ha,

    Classic, i've printed that and i'm bringing it in to my office!!!! :)
     
  3. Orlando_8

    Orlando_8 New Member

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    lol

    love it.. but here in Orlando we call #7 an A.C.I. problem.... Suffers from Anal-Cranial Insertion...

    And when they see the light ...then you have an A.C.E.

    Anal Cranial Extraction... Adds a whole new meaning to the statement "Way to go A.C.E."
     
  4. Imported

    Gold Member

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    hung_big: Linsey...that is awesome!

    Thanks for a great laugh!
     
  5. naughty

    Gold Member

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Chris darlin' its Leslie not Lindsey. Two very different but wonderful ladies. IT is funny though isnt it.

    naughty
     
  6. tuvok

    tuvok New Member

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    Also i like to call people with darker skin "pigmentationally enhanced"
     
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