Polk County--ground Zero For Florida Weird

thirteenbyseven

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Man died from meth overdose before he was eaten by alligator in Polk County

https://www.nypost.com/2019/12/12/d...ng-124-charged-in-florida-prostitution-sting/

There is something absolutely paranormal about this central Florida county located east of Tampa and southwest of Orlando. The entire area seems to rotate in retrograde orbit around the Sun while the populous, well lets just say some of them are part Beverly Hillbillies and part Twilight Zone. But enough of them behave in a manner that make the residents of Happy Acres Asylum look like models of sanity and keep Sheriff Grady Judd's extemporaneous reality show well-stocked in convicts for the foreseeable future.

In the years I've been coming to Florida the good sheriff has put-on a prostitution sting operation several times or more a year. One would think the entire southeastern U.S. would have run-out of Johns by this time. Moreover Grady Judd's stings are always entertaining big-budget Broadway productions, complete with multiple cameras and seductive female deputies with major taa-taas that have just the right persona of "slutiness" to appeal to a guy looking for paid pleasure.
Above all, Polk County prostitution "gotcha" shows wouldn't be complete without an uncanny number of human beings you just don't see everyday. There are dwarfs and politicians dressed as French maids complete with dog collars. Throw-in assorted men of the cloth, inept PGA pros who have only won one-time in nearly twenty years of playing golf, morbidly obese Disney security guards, and lastly those upstanding city fathers that just mistakenly rang the wrong doorbell after their wife sent them over to a friend's house for strawberry shortcake and they ended-up instead at a (supposed) house of ill-repute.

This kinda stuff never happens on a normal planet.
 
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1345864

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One can only speculate if the alligator that ate the meth-laced human got geeked on speed itself....

Just look for an alligator twitching and picking at invisible bugs underneath its scales.

You forgot one more important member of Florida's local fauna: elderly northern retirees who have a penchant for wearing pastel slacks/shorts pulled up to their collarbone, plaid shirts, golf caps, suspenders, and penny loafers with dark nylon socks pulled high. Once aptly referred to by George Carlin as having "cancer of the clothing."
 
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thirteenbyseven

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One can only speculate if the alligator that ate the meth-laced human got geeked on speed itself....

Just look for an alligator twitching and picking at invisible bugs underneath its scales.

You forgot one more important member of Florida's local fauna: elderly northern retirees who have a penchant for wearing pastel slacks/shorts pulled up to their collarbone, plaid shirts, golf caps, suspenders, and penny loafers with dark nylon socks pulled high. Once aptly referred to by George Carlin as having "cancer of the clothing."


OMG you are so right Todd!!!
 
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