Polyamory and Triads

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Peter_Parkit, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. D_Peter_Parkit

    D_Peter_Parkit New Member

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    I was wondering if i could get some advice about a troubling situation. Recently my boyfriend and I have talked about the idea of adding a third person to our relationship. Even though Triads have become more popular in the media with shows like Weeds depicting one this past season.
    I have to say that the idea is enticing but i am a little worried about the implications on our relationship. Our sex life has been less the stellar for the last year, when we do have sex we call up fantasies of the idea of one or both of us with another partner for us to ejaculate.
    I was wondering what some people thought about this, could it be a rough patch we have hit after two/two in a half years or could this be a signal of a waning relationship. i really need some advice because I'm slightly anxious about what is coming on

    Thanks in advance to anyone who wants to chime in
     
  2. Willifred

    Willifred New Member

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    It's up to you, only you understand your true circumstance and your relationship.

    But, are you wanting a permanent 3rd, is that what the 2nd/3rd wants and is that what you want from the relationship(s)?

    There are more questions here that you have to ask yourself than anyone else.
     
  3. D_Peter_Parkit

    D_Peter_Parkit New Member

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    the idea of a 3rd is an enticing idea, but i'm afraid that the reason i think its a good idea is because our sex life hasn't been good for going on a year. i really dont want to drag someone else into a relationship that might be on the outs. We have talked about our dwindling sex life several times and it seems like we get no where.
     
  4. arktrucker

    Gold Member

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    I've known several couples who have a 3rd. One of the couples had been together for 20+ years and the 3rd who fit in very well, decided to leave the relationship. They brought another in a couple of years later and about 3-4 years later one of the originals, was being pushed out by the 3rd and left.
    My partner an I have talked about it although, I knew there was no chance, I let the 3rd in for a 'trial'. Thank God, he was so spacy he didn't make the cut and that was the last time anything has been said about adding another.
     
  5. Sklar

    Gold Member

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    Try and fix this before adding a third. Whatever problems the two of you are having are just going to be exaggerated by the third person as he will be the new flavor in the relationship. This can/could lead to favoritism by both of you to the new guy while, possibly, shunting you'r partner off to the side and regulating them to third wheel status.

    Adding a new person isn't going to save the sex. If it's lousy with one eventually it's going to be lousy with two.

    Fix the current problem then you won't need a third.

    Sklar
     
  6. rayray

    rayray Active Member

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    Having a third guy to your relationship ? Really ? You both need to find out if after 2+ years if you just "love each other" or are you "in love" with each other first ? Are you both financially able to live apart or has your relationship become financially convienent ? You said you moved in 6 months after you met, so i think you got to know each other well enough..Try to remember how you met and why you got together, was it lust ?what was it. You said that you have talked about your waning sex life and since you havent resolved the issue you think bringing in fresh meat will help ?If you were a heterosexual married couple i dont think you would have that option.I know when i was in a relationship things in the bedroom got stale,routine. I hope you can work it out but i have a feeling the relationship has run it's course. I am 53 and single and at this point in my life just having a companion would be great because i get lonely. I still enjoy sex but thats not my #1 priority in seeking out someone..This is all just of course my opinion..I wish you both well..
     
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