Polyamory / Ethical sluttiness

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Hugh_Huge_Hung

Hugh_Huge_Hung

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The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities is a book which discusses consensual non-monogamy as a lifestyle, and provides practical guidance on how such long-term relationships work and are put into practice.

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, "many, several", and Latin amor, "love") is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

(source: wikipedia)

Anyone one the site lives in such a way and would like to share their experience?
 
I actually tried to read that book. I got about a quarter of the way into it, but I did not find it compelling enough to continue. Probably their way of framing polyamory just doesn't work for me. But I remain curious about the subject in some sense.
 
I have, yes. I had two boyfriends for a while. I also had a person I did BDSM stuff with over a couple of years, who was polyamorous. The first time I met his wife, was when I was asleep, naked, taking a nap. Both were positive experiences.

An online acquaintance wrote this, and I thought it was a really good way to explain things a bit.

Monogamy vs Polyamory
 
My wife was poly before me. It really just sound like a situation where your primary lover just isn't cutting it and you need another on the side. All parties are in agreement. There are rules you have to follow.
 
Spoiler said:
My wife was poly before me. It really just sound like a situation where your primary lover just isn't cutting it and you need another on the side. All parties are in agreement. There are rules you have to follow.
Click to expand...

..for some polyamorous people it might be like that, but it's definitely not just about wanting some sex on the side. That's more what you would call being a swinger. Which is a completely different thing.
 
I'm interested in this lifestyle after I had an online experience earlier this year that was similar to it.
These were just 2 online female friends who'd get naked and talk to me on skype every night or so and the three of us got in a weird long distance triangle relationship thing even though I'm not a big fan of online stuff this was a nice experience, one I'd like to discover more about.
 
durbantom said:
I always thought that Polyamoury lifestyle meant 3 or more people involved in one relationship. Sort of love triangle where everyone is involved with everyone else.
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Not necessarily. When I had two boyfriends, they knew each other and we spent some time together as a group of three, but nothing sexual.

The other poly involvement I had, I wasn't involved with the wife at all. She had her partners and he had his. I DID spend a couple of times with him and another of his female partners, but it was usually just he and I.
 
durbantom said:
I always thought that Polyamoury lifestyle meant 3 or more people involved in one relationship. Sort of love triangle where everyone is involved with everyone else.
Click to expand...

Polyamory proper, yes, I believe was supposed to mean a unit of multiple committed but shared relationships. But by now the meaning seems to have broadened.
 
I'm interested even though I have a jealous streak in me (who doesn't after being told monogamy is the only way for their entire life?). I think the issue at hand is simple - we are diverse people with diverse needs. We can't always meet every need of our partner so if it is important to them - should we allow them to explore or experience this with others? We are able to love multiple family members, multiple friends, multiple children, and multiple acquaintances... so why aren't we able to love multiple people intimately (sexual or non-sexual)?
 
I am part of a leather family. I have been in leather culture for about 20 years. I have a very complicated social and sexual life. I have my "dom", who is married and has his husband. I have my husband.. and I have my leather-boy/sub. there are a couple of other (fuck buds) I have too. Time management and jealousy issues often are the most major issues people have, in poly relationships. I have even been in a solid, Triad relationship before. If you want to get my views on polyamory. . or what a "leather-family" is like, you can ask me. I LIVE a poly life. .I AM non-traditional. . ask me.. find me in chats and Ill tell you, what its really like.
 
supersecretlemur said:
I'm interested even though I have a jealous streak in me (who doesn't after being told monogamy is the only way for their entire life?). I think the issue at hand is simple - we are diverse people with diverse needs. We can't always meet every need of our partner so if it is important to them - should we allow them to explore or experience this with others? We are able to love multiple family members, multiple friends, multiple children, and multiple acquaintances... so why aren't we able to love multiple people intimately (sexual or non-sexual)?
Click to expand...

That's exactly how poly people put it. I understand it, but i'm not sure that's what i want for me. I'm not judgmental, i'm just saying, what works for some doesn't for others. Some people are truly monogamous, and don't feel frustrated at all having sex with only one partner for the rest of their lives.
 
I have a few poly friends. It's not for me, but if all parties are on board and in agreement, I see no problem with it. I'm one of those boring monogamous people, and celibate in between relationships. I don't do casual sex well, and definitely can't do more than one person at a time (literally and figuratively!)
 
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