Polygamy

[The Dragon]

I belive that polygamy should be legalized.
I don't for one second endorse lowering the age of consent or the age that people should get married.
But Polygamy should be seen as a lifestyle choice just as monogamy is.
It isn't a lifestyle that I would choose for myself but I do belive that people have the right to choose their lifestyle without being made criminals for it.

 

[Jovial]

I agree. Some religions give polygamy a bad name.

 

[midlifebear]

Sadly, as benign as polygyny (polygamy) may appear, those involved in the practice rarely have a "choice" in the matter. Need proof? I've got 52 first cousins who are spookier than 600 sheep. All born, raised, and living in households with several "sister-wives" or lording over their own flock of multiple wives and inbred children, living separated from regular society.

 

[Shawn777]

I am fine with the idea of a happy polygamous family but there are some harsh realities to it

1) Just like when couples begin having too many kids, a man with multiple wives can't invest as much time and love as he could with one and vice versa. It's been theorized in a few dissertations that polygamous families are more likely to have strained relationships that could lead to bouts of depression and inferority complexes along with other psychology problems

2) If the center of a polygamous family dies, there's alot of financial logistics at stake concerning the estate and who is responsible for debt and inheritance issues.

3) The system is liable to abuse as there are tax benefits for married couples and for having more children in America. A man or woman could hypothetically marry and have enough children that they wouldn't really pay too much in taxes.

 

[lwd]

Sadly, as benign as polygyny (polygamy) may appear, those involved in the practice rarely have a "choice" in the matter. Need proof? I've got 52 first cousins who are spookier than 600 sheep. All born, raised, and living in households with several "sister-wives" or lording over their own flock of multiple wives and inbred children, living separated from regular society.

Following a previous thread, you are originally from Utah, right?

 

[Principessa]

I belive that polygamy should be legalized.

I don't for one second endorse lowering the age of consent or the age that people should get married.
But Polygamy should be seen as a lifestyle choice just as monogamy is.
It isn't a lifestyle that I would choose for myself but I do belive that people have the right to choose their lifestyle without being made criminals for it.

I agree that people have the right to choose their lifestyle without being made criminals for it. But with all these negative stories which keep coming to light lately I can't say I think it should be legalized.

I agree. Some religions give polygamy a bad name.

Some? Which are the religions which give polygamy a good name?

I am fine with the idea of a happy polygamous family but there are some harsh realities to it:
2) If the center of a polygamous family dies, there's alot of financial logistics at stake concerning the estate and who is responsible for debt and inheritance issues.

An executor can handle the husbands estate. I'm sure anybody with more than one wife and a herd of children sees to that. Also why is it that the women in these familys rarely work outside the home? They always lead a "Little House on the Prairie" type existence.

3) The system is liable to abuse as there are tax benefits for married couples and for having more children in America. A man or woman could hypothetically marry and have enough children that they wouldn't really pay too much in taxes.

You must not have kids or a knowledge of how federal taxes work because thats totally wrong.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Also why is it that the women in these familys rarely work outside the home? They always lead a "Little House on the Prairie" type existence.

Not to mention the Little House on the Prairie fashion sense!

But back on topic, I agree, marriage should be a contract between consenting adults. It shouldn't be for anyone else to say, "well, I don't especially like that arrangement, so it should be illegal."

 

[WifeOfBath]

3) The system is liable to abuse as there are tax benefits for married couples and for having more children in America. A man or woman could hypothetically marry and have enough children that they wouldn't really pay too much in taxes.

You must not have kids or a knowledge of how federal taxes work because thats totally wrong.[/FONT]

Well, no, actually, this is kinda right. When you file a tax return, each dependent child is an expemption, and you geta tax credit for it. I don't know the ins and outs of how these families file taxes because only one marriage is legal, but you better believe they set it up so the family as a whole has the least tax burden possible. I'm sure there's a cap or something on the amount of children you can claim, but in general the more chldren you have, the less federal tax you pay.

One thing that's interesting to note is that the county in Northern Arizona where many people from this FLDS chruch live receives more welfare and other federal assistance than any other county in the US (or something similar, I'm not sure of the exact statistic). Since these women aren't all married legally to these men and they don't have income, they are all entitled to welfare money-- and they get it.

With all that said, I don't think the problem is related to polygamy itself, it's the specific way this group of people practice polygamy. I see no problems with the concept itself just like I see no problem with the concept of any kind of marriage. If the people in said marriages act badly, it doesn't reflect on the practice, only on them.

 

[Rubenesque]

Great idea, I'd marry a decorator, a plumber, a chef and a hairdresser!

 

[WhiteZombie]

Realistically, though, what sane guy would want more than one wife? Think of all the honey-do lists. I can barely deal with a girlfriend, let alone 5 wives.

 

[westy81]

Be careful everyone arguing against polygamy...while it is not for me and is outside the norm...but if you argue against polygamy, it is not much different that the folks that argue against same sex marriage.

Tolerance is a road with many lanes, not just the one you are driving in.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Polygamy is criminal.


It only survives as a lifestyle choice where women are kept as virtual slaves, without access to real education or even accurate information about the outside world.
There is no "culture" in which it does not result in marrying off children to men 20, 30 even 50 years their senior.

And it is enforced upon these women thru manipulative indoctrination as small children with delusional religious idiocy, ... keeping them in constant fear and constant ignorance.



It is not INFORMED consent when the person is not informed.

If you want to even imply that tolerance should be shown to polygamists... you have to demonstrate folks practicing it in a manner that would not be considered abusive.


Like Bill Maher said... whenever you get a group of religious zealots hiding their children and women away in some kind of compound... you just KNOW that there's gonna be some child fucking.


The argument that it should be allowed is not the same as allowing gay marriage...

It it identical to arguing that men in NAMBLA should be allowed to fuck boys.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

PS-
there is no law preventing as many folks as choose to from living together... no law preventing them from punching out babies, no law preventing them from entering into contractual inheritance and co-ownership of property.

 

[westy81]

Phil...to play devil's advocate for a moment....so are you saying every instance of polygamy the participants are ill-informed?....hmmm....slippery slope....same sex marriage is also criminal in many states....your PS proves my point with regarding the parallels to same-sex marriage...I could see someone saying the same things about same sex marriage...no law against living together..blah...blah...blah....

Everybody should be tolerant of my choice, but I will be tolerant of no one.....

 

[spunkyboy2008]

Polygamy is criminal.


It only survives as a lifestyle choice where women are kept as virtual slaves, without access to real education or even accurate information about the outside world.
There is no "culture" in which it does not result in marrying off children to men 20, 30 even 50 years their senior.

And it is enforced upon these women thru manipulative indoctrination as small children with delusional religious idiocy, ... keeping them in constant fear and constant ignorance.



It is not INFORMED consent when the person is not informed.

If you want to even imply that tolerance should be shown to polygamists... you have to demonstrate folks practicing it in a manner that would not be considered abusive.


Like Bill Maher said... whenever you get a group of religious zealots hiding their children and women away in some kind of compound... you just KNOW that there's gonna be some child fucking.


The argument that it should be allowed is not the same as allowing gay marriage...

It it identical to arguing that men in NAMBLA should be allowed to fuck boys.

I agree. It is a practice of backward cultures and/or religions and it should not be allowed in the West. Some people like to pretend that all practices are equal and equally good but I don't think that is true at all. A Pakistani peasant family marrying off a 12 year old girl to to her cousin who already has three other wives is NOT equal to other marriages practices, neither are the practices of some strange cults that describe themselves as Christian.

Choice is all very well but you have to balance individual choice with the welfare of other people involved, such as children born in such families, young brides who are often coerced into such marriages etc. Sometimes people seem to not consider the effects, only the supposed rights of people to do whatever they want. Gay marriage in my opinion is different because there aren't usually the same impacts on others.

If people want multiple living and sexual partners that is one thing, I don't think the law should interfere with that, but I don't think it should recognise it as marriage.

 

[The Dragon]

No I am talking about main stream, living in the burbs, Non religious polygamy.
NOT these bizzare cults that pop up.

Belive it or not I saw a special about it on Ophra and these where middle class clean cut middle American people, The man had three wives and they had 3 kids.
They all lived in the same house.
All the women were very bright, opinionated and direct.
I don't belive there was any one "Master" in that household.

 

[DC_DEEP]

It only survives as a lifestyle choice where women are kept as virtual slaves, without access to real education or even accurate information about the outside world.
There is no "culture" in which it does not result in marrying off children to men 20, 30 even 50 years their senior.
<...>
If you want to even imply that tolerance should be shown to polygamists... you have to demonstrate folks practicing it in a manner that would not be considered abusive.
<...>
The argument that it should be allowed is not the same as allowing gay marriage...

It it identical to arguing that men in NAMBLA should be allowed to fuck boys.

PS-
there is no law preventing as many folks as choose to from living together... no law preventing them from punching out babies, no law preventing them from entering into contractual inheritance and co-ownership of property.

You are confusing several issues here. As a "lifestyle," I'm not sure what you mean. If you mean as a sacrament in a fringe religion, where multiple marriages are arranged with pre- or barely-pubescent girls, then yeah, that's criminal.

Not all multiple marriages are like that.

The FLDS group is in fact sort of like a hetero NAMBLA, but not all who would practice multiple marriage are like that.

As far as I am aware, marriage of any person who is below a certain age is illegal - male or female, couple or multiple. There are already laws that address that issue.

Making it illegal for informed, majority-age persons to marry whomever they choose is stupid, and actually, unconstitutional.

 

[Gillette]

Why is the assumption always one man, multiple women?

If it were legalized it might be just as common, particularly in Western society, to see one woman with multiple husbands.

I've recently been having this fantasy with two bisexual guys...

 

[Lex]

...
But back on topic, I agree, marriage should be a contract between consenting adults. It shouldn't be for anyone else to say, "well, I don't especially like that arrangement, so it should be illegal."

This would be my belief as well.

I am not looking to have multiple men in my life-- but I understand why and how this would work for other people. As long as it was consensual and not the work of those cult-like groups where people are abused and taken advantage of, I am okay with whatever two or more consenting adults want to do.

Why is the assumption always one man, multiple women?

If it were legalized it might be just as common, particularly in Western society, to see one woman with multiple husbands.

I've recently been having this fantasy with two bisexual guys...

Thanks for this reminder, Gillette. I can totally see the right woman commanding attention from several men at once.

 

[Ethyl]

Why is the assumption always one man, multiple women?

Because women would never consider having more than one man for sex. At least that's what we're told.

If it were legalized it might be just as common, particularly in Western society, to see one woman with multiple husbands.

Last night I read an article about a woman who renovated a castle in England which she inherited from her uncle who died two years ago. She's in an polyamourous relationship, has been married for over twenty years, and has two other male lovers. She's quite happy but keeps her sexual life private knowing others won't understand.