Pool Party/ Nudity / Underage Crashers

[UncutScot7.5]

So I really need some people's input on this.

This past weekend I was hanging out with my friend who is kind of becoming more than a friend so I'll call her my ladyfriend for the sake of simplicity in this post. We have a history (HERE: ) We met up with my good gay friend from that night and his new guy he is starting to date.

We went to hang out with one of her "cool hollywood' girlfriends. I really find a lot of the attitude around this kind of stuff to be funny and luckily so does my ladyfriend. But this girl we were visiting was on some teenybopper show I don't know. What I did know was that she has this really amazing house with a bigass pool. For the vast majority of the time it was a really small, but really great party. They were all getting together to watch something somebody was in but we kind of got there at the end so I didn't know what was happening. Everyone was so incredibly nice, but the crowd was definitely skewing a little younger (around college age or late high school). Maybe they were nice because Hollywood hasn't crushed their spirits yet or something, not that I know what I'm talking about. The talked to the girl whose house it was and asked her how old she was and how she could make this kind of money. She said she was 22 and her older sister did things too and her parents were actually well off so it wasn’t ALL her work. Her older sister was there too and she was 26. (which made the two of us the oldest there since the parents were out of town).

The party went on and my ladyfriend never left each others side which was something that made me really happy cause I’m starting to get invested in this and all those little kinds of things matter. Only a few people were swimming in the pool and by late in the morning most everyone was gone. The older kids were the only ones drinking a lot. Which means us.

By the end of the night, there were only eight people left: Me, my ladyfriend, my gay male friend, his date, the girl who was hosting, her asian friend, the older sister, and their gay male friend. (forgive any crassness of these label, I’m working off pronouns here to remove names). We played some fun drinking games and I taught them one from Scotland that gets you completely pissed. My drunk ladyfriend who decided she wanted to finally use the pool after having enough to drink yelled “Who’s going streaking!” and took off her clothes and jumped into the pool. No one else came in for a moment, and she finally coaxed me in with a simple “get your ass in here or I’ll be mad.” So I de-clothed, was relieved I was in full shower mode, bowed to everyone I was near, and jumped in. That kind of got the ball rolling and soon my gay friend and his date both stripped down and jumped in.

This immediately prompted the other male friend in the group to stand up and say “I’m not going to be the only homo in his birthday suit, but I’m not going in without you.” This got a huge laugh of course and he grabbed the older sister and pulled her up with him. She sort of resisted for a moment and then did a complete 180. She took off her clothes and went straight for the diving board.

Which left just the main girl host and her asian friend clothed (who I found out later was 19). My ladyfriend and the older sister were now clamoring for them not to abandon the rest of us in the pool. And they resisted “we can’t get naked in front of a group! only boyfriends!”
To which the other male responded: “you can date me love, don’t worry I like boys!”
“yeah all the boys here like boys!”
She looked at me “He doesn’t!”
To which my ladyfriend responded “he’s taken!” This was such a wonderful feeling because it was the first time she has really shown a kind of attachment and us being “together”. I was really, really happy.
The two girls had reason to be nervous I guess. Any time you have even a tiny amount of exposure or even acting aspirations, any sort of public display can hurt you later on. But I think they were both keen to, just afraid. So they took their time, and no one was really pressuring them. It was mostly their friend cracking jokes about how they were missing all the hot man butt in the pool. So they changed with a towel over. Then took them off at the last second before sliding in. Of course things loosened up a bit and people were soon running around and taking turns jumping off the diving board. The water was very, very warm and shrinkage didn’t seem to be effecting any of the boys. One of the main hosts other girl friends showed up, a pretty brunette girl and decided to join the festivities in the pool.

It was later that my issue arose. A good half an hour went by, and I was sitting on the raised edge of the pool, completely hanging out (in all meanings) when a few more people came out. They apparently were the last people who had been hanging out inside. And they were younger. Not middle school young, but definitely high school young. Yeah they could have been 17, but more likely 16 or possibly even 15. There was a young tall brown haired girl and a young girls and one boy. They were basically just staring at everyone and me in particular because I was closest, and I got very uncomfortable with it. My ladyfriend didn’t really seem to care, but then again she is 20 so the age thing might not have been as apparent.

“Ooooh what happened out here!” said one of the two younger girls.
To which the other gay male friend of theirs said “come on in the water’s great!”

This of course all sparked a huge debate in my head. In Scotland the rules as far as age of consent are a bit different and there’s definitely not as much worry about someone who is sixteen though I believe the law stated that 15 was definitely a crime. But honestly I’ve lived in so many places with so many different values in regards to this issue, that it became this constant exersize in understanding for what is okay. And the answer is simple. It’s a law in that country for a reason. I know america’s rules and they are definitely clear even though a lot of people with a more lax view of things have a bit of gray area. But America and individual states have their reasons so, that’s all it takes for me to be definitely uncomfortable with people under 18 seeing me naked.

The three younger kids seemed more stunned by everything and couldn’t believe there were a bunch of naked people running around and swimming. They sat down and talked amongst themselves nervously for a while then clearly spent a minute trying to get their guy friend to go and he refused. So they stood up, I thought they were practically shaking yelled “here we go!” then they both got naked in a second and jumped in.

So I got up and went to grab my clothes, but they were soaked from people’s dives and splashes. I had a spare bathing suit in my bag inside (which I was originally intending to wear) so I went inside to get it. I went into the kitchen and got my back when the older sister came in.

“Hey” I said surprised.
“hey” she said.
I asked outright, “Do you find that weird that they’re so young?”
“Yeah, well for me I do, but I’m the oldy here. You guys are all so young.”
“I’m 24.”
“really? Well I thought you were the same age as [your ladyfriend]”
“yeah, I’m a bit older.”
“well, yeah I mean it’s weird. [the main host girl’s brunette friend] is only 17 but she’ll be 18 in like a month.”
“that girl is only seventeen? Jesus. I was talking about the younger girls over there.” I said
She looked “I mean they’re in high school and they know us and my guy friend. And he’s 18 and freshman date seniors all the time. So it’s just weird for the rest of us I guess.
Again flabbergasted I asked “Freshman?”
“Yeah those girls are 15 I think.”
“God. Yeah. I should get out of here.”
There was an awkward silence for a moment. And I then realized I was still naked and she was looking at me. And then I noticed she had a towel wrapped around her upper half and was naked from the waste down. It was like I hadn’t even realized until that moment.
“Sorry, it’s just I’ve never seen an uncircumcised cock before.” She said.
The whole moment totally threw me. “uh… yeah… ok.”
“No, don’t worry. I like it! It’s cool!”
More awkward silence. I couldn’t really think of anything to say. She must have thought I was offended or something.
“Sorry I wasn’t saying it was bad! Really! it looks like, it’s really, like, big-“ she seemed to really cut herself off and started “Oh no don’t think I’m being weird! I really love [your ladyfriend] I was just saying. Sorry, don’t-“
I stopped her rambling. “Don’t worry it’s cool.”
She calmed down after stepping over her words, so I put on my bathing suit and she went to her room to get changed.

I went back outside to find all the gay boys wrestling in the shallow end and trying to challenge me. I laughed and talked to my lady friend to say that I was uncomfortable with the younger people in the pool. She said I was being silly and to relax cause everyone was cool and no one was doing anything. I basically lied and said I knew it was “cool” I just don’t want to. She kind of rolled her eyes at me and I went back inside and ended up hanging out with the younger guy who wouldn’t jump in the pool. He was this kid who was totally trying to act all big and tough but he had insecurity written across his face. After fifteen minutes he said he was off to walk home. I offered him a ride (cause it’s a freakin city, even in the Hollywood hills) but he said he lived down the street.

10 minutes later, the two young girls entered and they were still naked. They now thought they were obviously the freakin shit and super hot and all that stuff. Of course they were pretty girls, but they didn’t get it. I just said “for gods sake to put some clothes on” And I went back outside.

 

[UncutScot7.5]

My ladyfriend was no reffing the wrestling matches between the three guys and I just hung out with the main girl and her two friends who were now toweled. Feeling much more at ease. I relaxed. We talked and I forgot about the uncomfortable atmosphere for a moment until the 17 year old brunette girl bent down to pick up her clothes and in her lack of guile, moved her legs apart and the towel spread open, which basically showed a (for complete lack of a better more classy word) a total gyno view. I was completely caught off guard and tried to turn away, but I didn’t. She took a few moments then got up and hadn’t seen me look. I got up immediately and went in doors to find the main host girl bending over to put a towel on her head and I was getting a completely full view of her too from the other way. I immediately turned the other way and went by myself into the other room.

After that, everyone got clothed but in that one moment all my anxieties about all this completely came to a head because I did something rather inappropriate when I didn’t mean to. I was trying to “do the right thing” in this situation. And in these cases one was legally appropriate and one wasn’t?

And The whole thing with the younger girls was definitely illegal in all terms of technicality, right? This the united states. In a bunch of European countries it would have been just fine. Fuck in some jurisdictions of Japan the age of consent is 13. Yeah, I wasn’t like wholly/personally/morally offended by the whole situation, but I had so many thoughts hanging in my head that it could be bad. Like it WAS wrong.

I’ve written a great, great deal on the effects of sexuality and experience on young ages, and compare those who have an open view of nudity with those that have an extremely rigid. Yes, there are benefits for some kids growing up in freer societies and they have healthier body images. But I wasn’t in one of those societies. , I’m someone who definitely acknowledges that YES, there are definitely effects on people who experience those things too young. I mean with those younger fifteen year old girls, had they ever even seen a penis before (in real life)? Did I subconsciously scar them? Did they feel completely peer pressured to do this? And they were definitely not in a situation like most fifteen year olds have. Then again I started having intercourse when I was fourteen years old.

And there are people put in far more compromising positions and childhood abuse and all those issues, are by far the most damaging things upon a person’s psyche. There are so many unspeakable acts that go against these kids that are TRULY traumatic. I know my situation wasn’t the same, but am I crazy for thinking there was something at least wrong here? These questions have been rattling around in my head and the people I talked to either effectively ignored them with a “probably” or just gave it the standard hippy answer of “relax, it’s okay.” But no. I know it was wrong, hell it’s technically illegal and I wish I wasn’t in that situation and I wouldn’t do it again, and I believe that I did the right thing in getting clothed and leaving the situations. But I guess the question I really have is, just how wrong is it?

 

[chico8]

Nobody was having sex, right?!

You're right to have been cautious about the whole thing, but I doubt it's the first time those kids skinny dipped much less seen a naked male body.

There's absolutely nothing illegal about nudity in the privacy of someone's home, even if some of those present are under the age of 18. Had there been any sexual undercurrents swirling around, personally, I would have gotten out of there as quick as possible. Lacking that, I really don't understand why you're freaked out.

 

[UncutScot7.5]

Well first off, I never outwardly freaked out, I just couldn't make up my mind whether what was going on was appropriate or whether or not I should have chilled. The second thing is a no there wasn't anything expressly sexual going on beside my friend cuddling with his boyfriend. The third thing is I don't believe that public nudity is totally innocent, especially with a whole bunch of really attractive people. The fourth thing is becuase those girls were so young at 15 that I just really threw me. I was questioning why I was even in that situation in the first place.

 

[stratedude]

Most girls under the age of 16 that are engaging in those activities are well seasoned veterans. It just comes as a shock to us older guys because well like in my case, I really never heard of girls doing that stuff when I was in high school. Later I found out it was because all those slutty high school girls were messing aroung with college guys and older while I was hanging out with the HS crowd. So trust me, there is no "scarring". Scarring happens when perverts trick or force young innocent kids into doing something they dont want to do. Sounds to me like these "kids" were doing whatever they wanted. As long as you dont get sexually involved I wouldnt worry about it.

 

[SpruceGoose]

Dude, that's a really long story for a simple state of affairs.

If you are in California, just go to Black's Beach or San Onfre State Park, near San Diego and see like a 1000 people at a whack (yes in America) aged from 1 - 80 years old; men, women, little kids, fat, skinny, gays, straight, etc. - all completely or partially nude enjoying the freedom of clothes free swimming and running around.

It's not a crime, and "NUDE doesn't = LEWD." You don't really see much lewd behavior on those beaches - but if you do, it's your choice on how to react. If such a pool party turned into an orgy - then yeah, get out. But the trick to a sucessful one like that, is as soon as someone calls LET's GET NAKED - just shout out / or insist on a few ground rules like "No Touch" or No deal, and NO means NO! Gain consensus to that (mob rule) Then relax, people will self-police, and all will feel safer if they know the expectations.

 

[Freddie53]

This is America where it is a "no no" for a group of men and their teen age sons to all be in a comunal shower together, but it is OK for a bunch of 15 year old girls and guys swimming in the nude with adults over 18 at a private party without the consent of the parents.

But we are in America where laws and customs are strange to the rest of the civilized world.

A lot of the confusion comes from the Internet laws. People assume that those Internet laws also cover private people in private homes. The only reason for those Internet laws is to protect unsuspecting minors from child predators on the Internet. A 45 year old man can impersonate a 15 year old causing real problems for the unsuspecting teen or child on the web.

 

[Osiris]

This is probably going to sound harsh, but it isn't meant to.

I lived in that society (hollywood, rich, bored, and teen). I was a spoiled Brentwood kid and later we moved to Mandeville Canyon and there came my education. Kid's in the L.A. culture grow up REALLY fast. Some 15 year olds have done things I didn't even think about til my 20s. I was 13 and at naked teen pool parties. Some of them the parents were even there for.

You are right to be cautious, but remember you are in probably one of the "free-est thinking" societies in the US. Hollyweird is all about excess and pushing the ticket. You had your first real experience. I remember seeing a friend flip out only to find out from his older sister he had a cocaine monkey on his back and we were only in 7th flipping grade!

My advice is loosen a little. You are out of your element in a lot of ways. Nudity? No big problem. Sex when underagers are around? Problem. You'll learn what to and what not to avoid, but as for this pool party, the only thing you really needed to worry about was the older sister wanting to have sex with you. That was pretty evident.

Hope this helps.

 

[UncutScot7.5]

Okay. Well I'd like to thank people. The funny thing is when I read that I realized that I sounded pretty frantic but that's mostly cause my thoughts were going a mile a minute. I've been in some very relaxed societies when it came to nudity and been on several nude beaches in the world. I didn't flinch then so I guess you all are completely right and I just had this perception in my head that america was different or that YES internet laws applied. And i was also worried about being scorned for being in that situation. But yeah, when I was fifteen my friends and I were all having sex, but we were all the same age. I guess it was my friends telling me that it was no big deal that got me so defensive about it. Cause yeah, in that case it might not have been a big deal I was just worried about what if it became a big deal, you know? Eh I don't even know what I'm saying anymore it's too late at night.

 

[jack99821]

Social norms are based on comfort. They were comfortable with being nude in the group, and you weren't. Neither side is right or wrong, considering there were zero sexual undertones.

They weren't coaxed into it. You didn't know they'd be there. You weren't comfortable in that situation, and that's fine... had you been comfortable, that would've been fine too. As soon as anyone starts to get frisky, though, there's a major issue, but it doesn't sound like anyone did.

 

[yhtang]

I've been in some very relaxed societies when it came to nudity and been on several nude beaches in the world. I didn't flinch then so I guess you all are completely right and I just had this perception in my head that america was different or that YES internet laws applied. And i was also worried about being scorned for being in that situation.

I think it is laudable that you had your host country's laws (i.e. US) in your mind when you were in that situation. You had shown respect for the host country.

Too often, people from one country goes to another country and assume/demand that thier native laws and customs apply to their host country as well.

 

[dreamer20]

Pool Party/ Nudity / "Underage Crashers"

They apparently were the last people who had been hanging out inside. And they were younger.
In Scotland the rules as far as age of consent are a bit different and ...I believe the law stated that 15 was definitely a crime.

I asked outright, “Do you find that weird that they’re so young?”
“that girl is only seventeen? Jesus. I was talking about the younger girls over there.” I said
She looked “I mean they’re in high school and they know us and my guy friend. And he’s 18 and freshman date seniors all the time. So it’s just weird for the rest of us I guess.

...the two young girls were still naked. They now thought they were obviously the freakin shit and super hot and all that stuff. Of course they were pretty girls, but they didn’t get it. I just said “for gods sake to put some clothes on” And I went back outside.

Those persons were not crashers, but were party guests who were well known by the host. After you determined that the host was comfortable with everyone's nudity it was ridiculous for you to tell the girls to "put some clothes on".

And The whole thing with the younger girls was definitely illegal in all terms of technicality, right? ...in some jurisdictions of Japan the age of consent is 13. Yeah, I wasn’t like wholly/personally/morally offended by the whole situation, but I had so many thoughts hanging in my head that it could be bad. Like it WAS wrong.

...I’m someone who definitely acknowledges that YES, there are definitely effects on people who experience those things too young. I mean with those younger fifteen year old girls, had they ever even seen a penis before (in real life)? Did I subconsciously scar them? Did they feel completely peer pressured to do this? And they were definitely not in a situation like most fifteen year olds have. Then again I started having intercourse when I was fourteen years old.

...the people I talked to either effectively ignored them with a “probably” or just gave it the standard hippy answer of “relax, it’s okay.” ...I guess the question I really have is, just how wrong is it?

The girls being nude was not illegal. This was simply a case of nude recreation on private premises and not sex with minors. Your choice of Japan as a jurisdiction to support your premise was a poor one. Such nudity is the norm in traditional bathhouses for all ages in Japan. Again and again you bring sex into the picture by using the term "age of consent" when we are only dealing with nudists.

I've never known anyone to scarred by viewing a penis. Why would you think that would happen to a 15 year old girl? Does this mean that you scarred the person that you had sex with when you were 14? Obviously not.

Well first off, I never outwardly freaked out... there wasn't anything expressly sexual going on beside my friend cuddling with his boyfriend...I don't believe that public nudity is totally innocent, especially with a whole bunch of really attractive people.

I'll bear that in mind. Nudity is only acceptable if the nude people are pug ugly.:biggrin1:

 

[TheRob]

I think it's cool that, legal or not, you where uncomfortable with the situation
I am also very happy for you with the situationof your ladyfriend
dont' have much useful to contribute sorry

 

[dreamer20]

Most girls under the age of 16 that are engaging in those activities are well seasoned veterans. It just comes as a shock to us older guys because well like in my case, I really never heard of girls doing that stuff when I was in high school...

You had a very sheltered life stratedude.:wink:

 

[EboniGoddess]

Wait a sec....this thread was dead since august

 

[Freddie53]

Wait a sec....this thread was dead since august

It was! That long after the original posters posted to it, it would have been better to start a new thread, but that is just a personal opinion.