Porn has taught me that...

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by PornForPatric, Aug 4, 2007.

  1. PornForPatric

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    I was slurping drinks with another webmaster and we talking about the educational value of porn (that's what happens after the 3rd or 4th Iced Tea). People at the next table started calling stuff out, it was hilarious. I thought I'd give this thread life and see where it goes.

    Porn has taught me that:

    Straight women love to have guys cum all over their faces.
    Screaming due to rough penetration isn't from pain, but from pleasure
    Straight women like to be gagged by big cocks
     
  2. Principessa

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    Three reasons I hate to watch straight porn:
    1. Straight women love to have guys cum all over their faces.
    2. Screaming due to rough penetration isn't from pain, but from pleasure
    3. Straight women like to be gagged by big cocks
     
  3. PornForPatric

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    Njqt466, I mean it in an ironic way as in; "If you watch straight porn, you'll think that all women like being gagged by big cocks". Sort of like "Twisted lessons from porn watching", not actual lessons.

    I'll give this another try:

    Gay men are mostly 18-25

    Gay men kiss by placing their open mouth close together and flicking their tounges at each other

    Tops and bottoms always cum at the same time or within 30 seconds of each other.
     
  4. fortiesfun

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    How about this one:

    It is a miracle anyone ever procreates, because all men pull out to ejaculate.
     
  5. bobabooey69

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    I have learned that plumbers and pizza delivery guys always get some when the customer is short on cash.
     
  6. fortiesfun

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    I've learned that, incredibly, some people can speak complete audible sentences while giving a blow job. For some reason these people are particularly drawn to performing in low-budget films.
     
  7. PornForPatric

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    I've learned that 18 year old jocks love to get blowjobs from 50 year old bears.

    I've also learned that there are quite a few very effeminate straight men who get fucked for the first time and just love it!

    Oh, I learned this morning that straight men with the looks of a model, the body of a god and a cock a foot long find it really, really hard to meet women in major metropolitan areas. So, they naturally turn to gay men to get blowjobs and fucking.
     
  8. SpoiledPrincess

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    If someone has their washing machine fixed they never pay by cash, they always fuck the repair man instead.
     
  9. No_Strings

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    Porn has taught me that my penis is tiny, and that a dry finger thrust frantically into a dry hole constitutes as foreplay.
     
  10. Aplus

    Aplus New Member

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    If you think plumbers and pizze delivery guys always get laid, try being a guy who cleans swimming pools. Now those guys always get laid.

    18 year old women simply love to fuck guys over 40 years old, and even more so guys over 50.

    90% of black guys have a dick that's at least 10 inches long.

    Almost every woman alive loves anal sex.

    Almost every woman alive wants her ass slapped a minimum of 100 times during sex.

    Almost every woman alive loves it when a guy withdraws his penis a minimum of 20-30 times during any sex act.

    Women simply love the taste of cum, love it.

    Women simply don't like or need foreplay...ever.
     
  11. Principessa

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  12. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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    - 3 men are always better than 1

    - If im not screaming then im not having fun

    - I must let him skull fuck me

    - He must slap my in the face with his cock

    - All men can go for hours

    - I am there only for his gratification

    - He must ejaculate ON me

    - I must look at him all pouty and dreamy eyed during sex

    - I must preform doggie style EVERYTIME
     
  13. viking1

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    I have repaired many things over the years. I never got any sex out of the deal, though. Guess I don't look enough like John Holmes!:tongue:
     
  14. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Ya know... I DO have a broken dryer right now.... :wink: :tongue:
     
  15. viking1

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    Let me see if I can borrow a supersonic jet. It'll take about 45min to get there...
     
  16. SpoiledPrincess

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    My washing machine was broken, despite hanging around with no knickers on, a short skirt and see through top making double entendres regarding fixing my plumbing the bastard still refused to bend me over the machine and give me a jolly good rogering :)
     
  17. viking1

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    I wish some woman would try that with me. Guess I don't rate high enough...
     
  18. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    I have learned that all women like it when you ejaculate on their face. I have learned that they will cheat on their husband any time to get a big one. I have learned that basically all housewives are whores. I have learned that they really enjoy doing it without seeking anything in return.

    I have learned that all handsome body builders like to bottom. I have learned that they really like it from guys who aren't as well built. I have learned that they secretly crave for all hung men to rip them a new one.
     
  19. hairyman101

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    There are creampie videos where they cum inside her.:rolleyes:
     
  20. PornForPatric

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    Women LOVE to have their breasts slapped around.

    All women are bisexual.

    Girls just going about their day will hop in a van full of strange men and have sex.

    Gay men simply can't get a dildo that's big enough. I mean, even a fire cone couldn't give satisfaction.

    Black men have a really hard time getting an erection.

    Stuffing your 1/2 hard dick into your bottom and grinding on him will give him so much pleasure.

    Only the hottest men are allowed into a bath house.

    Gloryhole usage requires a minimum 9 inch cock.

    (from Kristen Bjorn's A World of Men)
    If a girl walks in on her boyfriend getting banged at both ends for cash, she won't be upset. She'll just sit down, watch and chew bubble gum until they are finished. Then, she'll wonder what her boyfriend is gonna buy her with the cash he just made.

    **My Favourite**
    Straight men love to get blowjobs from gay men. Play with their ass while you're doing it and soon you'll be fucking them.
     
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