Porn/ig And Self Image

Messy Elliott

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I searched for a similar thread on here and didn't find one, so I decided to start one myself. I used to follow a lot of the IG thirst accounts (Carlos Brandt, Elias Nohra, Kevin Carnell, Johnnell etc) and eventually realized that constantly seeing pics of perfectly gym-toned bodies wasn't good for my self esteem. I unfollowed all of those thirst accounts and I think it's been good for me, to log into IG and find content that has nothing to do with physical appearance. I'm curious: do any of y'all ever feel the same way, like IG and porn has warped your sense of attractiveness and it's important to disengage from social media in order to remember how real people actually look in person? Sometimes I wonder if porn and IG has got us convinced that we need/deserve a man with a huge dick, muscles and less than 5% body fat.
 
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deleted1074483

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i think you're correct @Messy elliot there is quite a lot of evidence now that IG and social media in general causes depressive episodes and can lead to body dysporia - and theres equal evidence that this is affecting men just as much as women - add in the 'gay' aspect where body perfect is seen as the ideal then all adds up to bad news.
so i think its warped our own sense of self and how we look (vs others who've photoshopped or as per Kim Kardashian's site taken 700+ selfies to find the one perfect one to post) and so yes will have impacted on how we view others?
personally this is the only social media site i look at cos i'm just not that bothered as to what others look like and try to concentrate on making myself the best person (not the fittest or most attractive but person as a whole) that i can.
 

MuscledHorse

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Males are very visually and physically focused. And, it probably doesn't help that the advertising world taps in to that with the ads depicting males and females as they do.I was the skinny kid with asthma growing up and I grew up on a swim team from a young age and looked at all the muscled guys around me and longed to be them. I got in the gym and made it happen and am very glad I did. I am certainly healthier for it. But the thing that changed my life more than anything was when i provided companionship services to other males when I was in school. Such work required you to look past physical appearance and connect as one male to another. Not only did I discover i could connect with a guy apart from appearance, I also discovered a number of body types that really got me horny that I had never considered before, chief among them the bear with some gut on him. All that said, the bigger thing you have to ask yourself is, what do you want your body to be? You don't have to look like the super cut muscle boys, but if there is something you want to change that you feel will make you a better person then go for it. My boyfriend I met last year describes himself as the former fat kid that went from 330 pounds own to where he is at 245 at 6'3" and is in the gym to build a football lineman build of some beef with a gut. He did this not out of self consciousness like I did, but because his doctor had a serious conversation with him bout his health stats and he wanted to improve that. You can be fat and still be healthy. Every football linemen and power lifter proves this.The most important thing as that you are happy with you. Even as solid built as i am now, I still see the same perfectly photographed, photoshop touched pics of perfect males and envy them. But that's what we are supposed to do. That's how marketing and ad sales work. So I channel that into my gym workouts as motivation to keep going, even though I know with my ectomorph build I won't ever be those guys or the beefy thik football lineman type. But it keeps me healthy and feeling good about myself. Hope this helped :)
 
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deleted5493

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Social Media and pornography are horrible for you. No two ways about it.
 

Messy Elliott

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Males are very visually and physically focused. And, it probably doesn't help that the advertising world taps in to that with the ads depicting males and females as they do.I was the skinny kid with asthma growing up and I grew up on a swim team from a young age and looked at all the muscled guys around me and longed to be them. I got in the gym and made it happen and am very glad I did. I am certainly healthier for it. But the thing that changed my life more than anything was when i provided companionship services to other males when I was in school. Such work required you to look past physical appearance and connect as one male to another. Not only did I discover i could connect with a guy apart from appearance, I also discovered a number of body types that really got me horny that I had never considered before, chief among them the bear with some gut on him. All that said, the bigger thing you have to ask yourself is, what do you want your body to be? You don't have to look like the super cut muscle boys, but if there is something you want to change that you feel will make you a better person then go for it. My boyfriend I met last year describes himself as the former fat kid that went from 330 pounds own to where he is at 245 at 6'3" and is in the gym to build a football lineman build of some beef with a gut. He did this not out of self consciousness like I did, but because his doctor had a serious conversation with him bout his health stats and he wanted to improve that. You can be fat and still be healthy. Every football linemen and power lifter proves this.The most important thing as that you are happy with you. Even as solid built as i am now, I still see the same perfectly photographed, photoshop touched pics of perfect males and envy them. But that's what we are supposed to do. That's how marketing and ad sales work. So I channel that into my gym workouts as motivation to keep going, even though I know with my ectomorph build I won't ever be those guys or the beefy thik football lineman type. But it keeps me healthy and feeling good about myself. Hope this helped :)

You know, I've seen IG posts by a few guys who flat-out say that they still see a skinny guy in the mirror no matter how muscular they get. And I remember even being a 20-something inexperienced gay, seeing that and thinking "should you maybe be talking to a professional about this rather than, or in addition to, just going to the gym?" I'm not saying people shouldn't pursue the body they want of course, but I do believe it can be taken to an extreme where nothing is good enough. I also think we all owe it to ourselves to understand and remember the role genetics plays in body composition as well, as you said. Most of us will never look like those porn stars/IG "influencers," at least not without assistance in the form of anabolic steroids or some other potentially dangerous substance. And to be honest some of these guys probably use all that shit but pass it off as "all natural."

All that to say, yes I believe one good way to combat this focus on a specific form of physical appearance is to develop other parts of yourself that has nothing to do with how you look, and forge relationships with people not based on physical attraction. It's funny how quickly just opening a book or resuming an online course can take me out of a self-esteem funk, if I happen to be in one.
 

Messy Elliott

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Also adding that a lot of these IG people know their angles/lighting, they suck their stomach in just so, they take 100 pics to get the one perfect one that doesn't look too artificial; all that stuff happens. Of course, understanding something intellectually doesn't necessarily mean you won't respond to it subconsciously or emotionally.
 
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6025791

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Also adding that a lot of these IG people know their angles/lighting, they suck their stomach in just so, they take 100 pics to get the one perfect one that doesn't look too artificial; all that stuff happens. Of course, understanding something intellectually doesn't necessarily mean you won't respond to it subconsciously or emotionally.

Listen buddy, there's nothing wrong with knowing your best angles. :p

Social media is toxic, and I hope that one day more people will realize it. Speaking personally, I spent far too much of my own life wanting to look like the people I would jerk off to on tumblr, instagram, whatever. It made me deeply insecure about myself, which just made me feel less motivated to try and improve my situation. It's easy to sink into a rut where you can't help watch, consume, and compare yourself to the top 0.1%, while not appreciating or realizing your own good qualities and achievements.

It wasn't until pretty recently that I severely cut back my online activity, and spent more time focusing on myself and what I want to achieve. Not so that I can post it on IG for the validation hit of getting a lot of likes, but so that I can feel good when I look at myself naked in the mirror. It's been a very good experience that I can't recommend enough.
 
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deleted3962121

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@Messy Elliott this is the thread that I have been looking for and I wish more people saw… social media really fucks with you and seeing the boys that all the gays fawn over has fucked with my mental over time … it has made me tie my attractiveness, value and worth to how I look. It has made me feel horrible and thinking I’ll be lonely forever as long as I don’t look like them. I even fantasize that one day I will. I screenshot their photos in hopes I can copy them later. At times, it’s been bad. I have taken a break from social media and talk to a therapist and still try to work on my health but I still haven’t shaken the subconscious feeling that I don’t present this way (masculine, chiseled body, insta-famous) then I won’t find love - of a partner, of myself. Thank you for starting this very important conversation.
 
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deleted3962121

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And we have to watch ourselves up here as well. A lot of these threads are reposts from the famous IG boys and their more-than-likely boring OF pages
 

Lololool

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I searched for a similar thread on here and didn't find one, so I decided to start one myself. I used to follow a lot of the IG thirst accounts (Carlos Brandt, Elias Nohra, Kevin Carnell, Johnnell etc) and eventually realized that constantly seeing pics of perfectly gym-toned bodies wasn't good for my self esteem. I unfollowed all of those thirst accounts and I think it's been good for me, to log into IG and find content that has nothing to do with physical appearance. I'm curious: do any of y'all ever feel the same way, like IG and porn has warped your sense of attractiveness and it's important to disengage from social media in order to remember how real people actually look in person? Sometimes I wonder if porn and IG has got us convinced that we need/deserve a man with a huge dick, muscles and less than 5% body fat.
Amen to that!
 
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