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Porn Problems

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Bigtool333, May 20, 2019.

  1. Bigtool333

    Bigtool333 Expert Member

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    So I tried talking to my boyfriend of 2 years about maybe watching porn tohether. Before we got together he watched it all the time now that we are together, his story has changed and he doesnt wath porn at all... Ever... Im not stupid. We both watch porn.. But the fact that he still continues to lie about it and doesnt really wamt to watch it together kinda send up some red flags. Any ideas.? Should I just shut up and drop it? Lemme know guys
    Thanks
     
    teninchman likes this.
  2. confidential36

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    I'd drop it. It's my guess that he is insecure about something.
     
  3. 693987

    693987 Guest

    My partner and I don't like the same kinds of porn. We don't watch it together, but I don't feel like I'm lacking anything by not doing such a small thing. Maybe it's something like that?
     
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  4. CalifornianSTUD

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    Yea, I’d say maybe it has to do with the type of porn he likes and maybe there is some embarrassment involved. Maybe it’s very fetishy porn that he would never do in real life but is still turned on by in fantasy.
     
  5. cityson

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    Well put. Porn can be a very private thing and everyone must be allowed his own space. Not everything is best shared.
     
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  6. ohiorod

    Gold Member Platinum Gold

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    I’m missing the red flag ! It sounds like he is just not wanting or is not comfortable watching porn with you. If life is good with him otherwise, I’d let it go. As folks said, there are a multitude of reasons why he may not want to share that time.
     
  7. love2compare

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    I for one wouldn't watch porn with my wife ever as all cocks are way bigger and thicker than mine. This would make me feel tiny in front of my wife - no way i want that!

    When watching with buddies in the past i never cared at all... we all did our things and had loads of fun.

    Today anyways, i almost never watch porn unless someone sends me a link as i prefer to cam live with guys like over skype or on here, that's muuuch better and less addictive ;-)
     
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  8. ItsAll4Kim

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    If it's not going to keep bothering you, drop it. If it's gonna stay with you, then perhaps open a dialogue. Either way it shouldn't be a big issue.
     
    6inchcock likes this.
  9. 1222288

    1222288 Guest

    For myself, my porn time is my private time where I get myself off in the way that really gets me off. My partner and I tried watching porn together a few times, but our jerk off material is completely different. So, we dropped that.

    Everyone needs private time. It sounds like you are asking him over and over, which for me is more concerning than him withdrawing. If you pressure him to do something he doesn't want to do, it is going to cause friction, and create a barrier. Look at your own language, calling him a liar, when I'm sure he just wants you to leave him and his personal space alone.

    Wedging in, calling him a liar, and treating this issue like it's "red flag" worthy is going to make him despise you if you keep it up.
     
  10. socalfreak

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    From one more perspective here...
    Before I met my girl,I watched porn. Big shocker there. Lol.
    Anyway,... Since I've been with her, I don't watch it. Zero.
    It has nothing to do with me thinking it's immoral or anything like that.
    And , @Snarky_succubus watched plenty before we met, too. So, she's not a prude or anything. She's flat out told me she wouldn't have a problem with it, unless it became a necessity. Because, she'd want to fulfill whatever it is that porn was compensating for.
    The truth is that I just don't need it.
    I have no need/want for it.
    Sex with my girl is better than any porn you could imagine. I want for nothing.

    So, maybe he's just happy with you and doesn't need it any more?
    And there are lots of people who just aren't into watching it with others.
    In any case, I'd just let it go.
    Unless you find something that indicates clearly that he's lying about it, accept him at his word & move along with your day.
    Accusing him off lying, because you believe every guy watches porn all the time, will most assuredly be a death sentence for your relationship.
    Just my 2¢...
    Good luck!
    I hope you guys work it out
     
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  11. kelvinza

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    My partner and I do not watch porn together as well. My perspective is that we prefer different kinds of scenes. Also, watching porn is more like a private time thing for me. I dont mind watching together but watching porn alone is part of my relaxing moments.
     
  12. Scarletbegonia

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    My gut says he’s watching something he thinks will turn you off or judge him.
    Or, your taste is different enough to turn him off, or bore him.

    In my experience, watching porn together is more a learning experience than excitement.

    Are you asking repeatedly?
    Could he have laid off watching?
    How important is it to you?
    Could you simply ask to try it once as a lark?
     
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  13. marriedasian

    marriedasian Legendary Member

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    the only issue i see here is that he's lying to you. other than that, it's his choice whether or not he wants to watch porn with you. it's not worth the effort to push the subject. porn is simply a personal thing and we all need our boundaries.

    i would address the lying part if you have concrete evidence on it. that could be a relationship issue that needs to be talked about sooner than later.

    express your desire to share watching porn together and let him come to you. if he doesn't then i wouldn't mention it anymore and if you do, just hint at it every couple of months or so and nothing more. if watching porn is a deal-breaker for you in a relationship then you need to share that asap since you are not getting what you want out of the relationship and that could lead to issues down the road (if not already).
     
  14. Jamal2525

    Jamal2525 Banned

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    I think that you should just watch dirty porn once, and it will definitely help you :) After that you will definitely start to watch porn together and then have sex ) Personally, I had so. My girlfriend didn't want to have sex, but she didn't even want to watch it. However ) What do you think? What happened?)) Right - we had great sex after watching dirty porn. Who needs interestingly, we watched precisely this porn with Non Nude Teens, I don't know what the magic is precisely in this porn, but even my friends had sex after this video
     
  15. Sagittarius84

    Sagittarius84 Legendary Member

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    Id venture most of us don't start consuming porn with an enthusiastic partner..in fact from a hetero perspective i don't remember a positive female opinion about the consumption of or masturbation to porn until my mid to late 20's..so presumably you're looking at 10+ yrs of a perfectly healthy activity that is demonized and shamed; so damn right warning flags fly up when a partner all of a sudden wants to share in your porn consumption. Most of us live in a state where minor rubbernecking in public gets you chastised, so why wouldn't we be reluctant to share in the imagery that helps get us off, especially if it's not you?
     
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