Post Birth Changes In Sexual Desire

splatter00

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Good morning,
So i am hoping to get some insight from women who have had children, and how/if their sexual desire bounced back.
My wife and I used to have amazing sex. Shes not an overly sexual person, not into toys, porn, any of that stuff. But we had amazing, passionate sex, the best ive ever had. Not to mention the emotional connection. We would do any and every position, and only a few would cause dis comfort temporarily. Im not overly endowed. Wede have sex atleast once every other day, if not every day, her usually initiating it.
Since, we've had two amazing babies, now 1 and 3. And since the first pregnancy nothing has been the same.
She has zero sex drive, and sex is emotionless, lacks lusts and honestly boring. Every position hurts except her on top, angled forward and only taking me in a few inches. But I can tell she doesnt really enjoy it, and our lack of intimacy is taking a toll on the relationship. And I still find her to be the sexiest woman on the planet and I want her daily. (Not expecting it daily but just an idea of how much I lust for her)
I get that we have alot more on our plates, both working, and were always exhausted. But I love my wife more than anything, and I keep just hoping hormones will settle and shell be somewhat back to old form. Or is this the new norm?
 

AlteredEgo

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I took care of some people that young from time to time. They didn't pass through my body, but they wore me the fuck out every day that I had them. And I didn't have them every day. My boyfriend learned to tolerate a brief period during which "intimacy" meant I got undressed and napped in his arms in a patch of sunlight on the floor. It was restorative for me. In retrospect, I'm sure he resented it. They weren't mine, and it was temporary. They wore me right the fuck out, a few years later when I was again responsible for them, this time for longer. But it wasn't the same level of fatigue, the new issue was I had them long enough to have to transition them to a new school district, and there was a gap when I had them all day every day for a while. I just didn't have time then, though I would have had the energy. Have you discussed this with your wife?
 
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deleted716371

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Having kids is a great change in life. Giving birth. Hormones. A change in identity. Not getting sleep. Being exhausted... Not exactly the best conditions to nurture the relationship and sex drive?

Have you talked to her? Is it physical? Some damage from giving birth? Or is it her situation? Family and workload?

I've been there, and my only advice is talking to her and show her support. What can you do to help? How can you manage together? Hopefully you will find eachother sexually again in the process.
 

splatter00

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Having kids is a great change in life. Giving birth. Hormones. A change in identity. Not getting sleep. Being exhausted... Not exactly the best conditions to nurture the relationship and sex drive?

Have you talked to her? Is it physical? Some damage from giving birth? Or is it her situation? Family and workload?

I've been there, and my only advice is talking to her and show her support. What can you do to help? How can you manage together? Hopefully you will find eachother sexually again in the process.

Yes we've talked about it. Nothing physically for her, except change is sensation. She doesnt like her clit touched, and going down is yoo sensitive for her. Its alot of the above. We both work full time, some nights and occasional weekends. Plus 2 kids, were both exhausted. We also both dont share the same love language. Im extremely romantic, I crave intimacy, lust, while shed rather me do the dishes and clean the house. Guess were still working through all the changes. Haha
Thank you for your reply!
 
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Tattooed Goddess

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It took several months post birth before I was even comfortable with the idea of penetration. It hurt so bad bc of his size. It didn't seem to effect my drive much. After my total hysterectomy I was crazy horny for about six months and then it died off for a couple of years. Our moods, home, work, relationships all change with hormones. Sex became too painful to do in any position. Other than lubes and being careful I could handle a few inches but it hurt so bad.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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@Mr. LPSG ...

Hi. Just wanted to throw this out there, this thread is a great example as to why I would love an "ignore a thread" option.

I've been posting less lately, but reading more here than usual to try and distract myself from certain things lately. There are babies and pregnant women Everywhere. This is the only place I currently have where there's minimal to no discussion of kids/babies. But... There are still threads like this.

I would never want to shut down the conversation out of selfishness for my own good, but if we had that option and I could never ever have to read about "post birth" when skimming through the threads I would really really appreciate it.

Eventually I would probably even "ignore" the thread I started here recently, but for now it's been somewhat helpful to vent and share.

Anyway, thanks for your time.
 
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