Post-coitus no-no's

D_Bubba_Butter

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Princess Sparkle
he's not exactly thrilled
bwahahahahahaa

ML inner dialog leading to Buster's bits being named:
ohhh pretty cock.
hmm is it my pretty pony or my little pony?
*hums My Little Pony theme song*
Princess Sparkle was a loverly pony.

*ML giggles*
*Buster throw out eyebrow arch of concern*
Buster: what?
ML: nothing *more giggles.. while holding his cock*
Buster: giggling isn't conducive to erection duration *cranky pants pout*
ML: i can't help it.. i was thinking you have a pretty cock
Buster: pretty? pretty?
ML: gorgeous. thick. ultra-suckable cock. but mostly pretty.
*pause*
ML: and then i was thinking about My Little Ponys
Buster get this 'OMG a crazy woman has a grip on my penis' look.
ML: i named your cock Princess Sparkle! *beams with pride*
Buster: .............

ML wins!!! the boy's peen will forever be known as Princess Sparkle!

I like a good back story! :smile:
LPSG definitely needs more of this. Lots, lots more...
Beats circumcision any day.
 

D_Bubba_Butter

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and finally jettisoned into the heart of a distant star that went super nova and then collapsed into a black hole.

And there's an awful lot of deep space stuff going on at the moment. Do you think we need a dedicated lpsg astrophysics group?
 
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NotSoDumb_Blonde

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Worst after sex comment?

Mmm...with a guy who was well hung -- thick, long -- thought he was the bomb I guess.

We were dating for around six months and finally had sex. Yeah, I was a bit impatient at this point! Afterwards, he rolls on his back, smacks my ass and say, "Babe, you're a really good lay."

Me. stunned silence. More silence.
He falls asleep.

Didn't answer his calls after. What was the point? It was obvious to me at that point he was a dick with a big dick. And, worse? HE wasn't a good lay.

lmao
 

Irishladdie

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You know, I've taken some cute jokes on how much smaller my dick is after sex, when it softens. No 'Mike and Ike' ones, but cute little comments. Post-coital humor's always funnier than normal humor.

If I could take that joke, I think it was kinda humorless of you not to take the Grand Canyon joke. If you know you have a tight vagina, and you know you both enjoyed yourselves, why would you be bothered by a guy's joking, albeit slightly thoughtless fascination with your vagina? You may have overreacted a bit.
 

dolfette

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if you're cool with it then everyone else is silly if they aren't?

...i wonder what the shrink spea word is for people who think that way.
 

SR_Dee_Cupp

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My lowest low was being casually compared to an ex as we were cooling off. I was so shocked and hurt that I just stayed silent. I really do wish I was more of a badass at that point, but I didn't even know where to begin when it came to such disregard.
 

Gecko4lif

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So I moved a few months ago and I decided to find someone outside of a relationship to have fun with. Met a friend that claimed he was as thick as his wrist, and I wanted to call his bluff; he was right. We had a blast the first few times. It was a bit of a stretch literally because I'm definitely not used to sex, let alone big ones, but I eagerly adjusted. However, he was not used to the female attention and got full of himself. (He was a bit of the loner, geeky type... as my friends generally are. lol)

The last, and I mean LAST, time we got together, he pulled back and looked at me afterward. The next words that he said made me want to punch him in the face.

"Wow, it's like the Grand Canyon."

This was followed by a self-satisfied chuckle and I proceeded to kick his ass out. I actually, due to my old birth control, I had to be stretched out medically in order to have pleasurable sex. Even knowing how small I am, it still bothered the hell out of me.

He was stroking his own ego and now he can stroke something else... all alone.

So yeah, just wanted to vent and remind you all that as much as you may want to gloat at times, do not do so in this manner. But I guess I'm just ranting because I have faith that you'll have more sense than this. lol

-rant over-


Hooooly shit that hilarious
 

RodRingo

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I don't get it why it was offensive. :S
When guys with big ones can fit their entire unit inside a woman, why is it an offence to say/imply there's a lot of room in the woman's vagina? :S

If I'm missing something please let me know, because I'm really racking my brain on this one and I just can't seem to put my finger on it....
 

bobg4400

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I don't get it why it was offensive. :S
When guys with big ones can fit their entire unit inside a woman, why is it an offence to say/imply there's a lot of room in the woman's vagina? :S

If I'm missing something please let me know, because I'm really racking my brain on this one and I just can't seem to put my finger on it....

I think it's the self-satisfied chuckle although I'm not sure what he was satisfied about, unless it was getting kicked out of bed?
 

B_Bjen2848

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ladies, never, EVER talk about your boyfriend in the middle/after sex, i never want to be the "other man" to ruin a relationship b/c i feel that is wrong, but i have been in 2 occasions, both with some pretty grimy lines...

the first one was seconds after 45 minutes of of very hot sex with a girl i had met at a party a few days earlier, this was the convo

girl - "so whatchu doin later today?"
me - "ehh prolly just chillin with my friends, how about you? wanna meet up later?"
girl - "yeah thats cool, my boyfriend is supposed to pick me up at 1 (the time was 12:52) to grab lunch then im free"
me - (speechless)

second time was after a frat party and i had went home with a cute brunette with a station wagon of a booty

girl - (while giving me oral) "damn! you're a lot bigger than my boyfriend"
me - (in a very, VERY intoxicated slur) "whaa?"
girl - "yeah, his dick only goes up to here and is way skinnier"
me - "... umm, i gotta use your bathroom ..."
girl - "yeah it's down the hall..."

both times i got outta there faster than usain bolt and michael phelps combined .. deleted phone number, blocked from facebook, the whole 9 yards lol...

people are reckless smh
 

B_Bjen2848

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Think sticking F1 in & making it a tetrathlon would be pretty cool. But before swimming. Being damp on the seats is just going to chafe.

haha yeah, chafing after an encounter with a skeezer will probably lead to a frantic drive to the clinic, so that's never good
 

aninnymouse

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It's disrespectful, IMO.

I think it has something to do with the concept that if a woman has a loose pussy, she's a ho.

I wonder, guys; how would you feel if you'd just finished having sex, and your girl said something like "Whoa. That was like being probed with a cocktail weenie!" and gave a similar chuckle.

Would you feel insulted?
 

petite

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Good on you for kicking his ass out. I don't know why people think that sort of puerile porn-speak is actually hot.

As for me, the biggest no-no I've ever experienced was when I got dumped right after. Like, seconds after his ejaculation. He was like "Honey, you're great at this, but I don't think we're right for each other." I still hadn't gone off. And it was right after we started the "moving in together" process. Not cool. Not cool at all.
Mine was similar. He was an incredible lover and this was a long sweaty session. Immediately after I orgasmed while I'm still looking up at him he told me that he didn't love me any more. He said it cruelly. I am not proud of my reaction. Screaming in rage, I reached up with my left hand and grabbed him by the hair on top of his head and I punched him in the face twice with my right hand. It's the only time I ever hit a man in the face. He apologized later, but I never forgot it and it couldn't be taken back. Later he said that he thought I was too cool, that I didn't feel strongly enough about him, that I didn't show enough emotion. I loved him and the asshole pulled a sadistic stunt in order to witness my pain because he felt insecure about how I felt about him? Isn't that just fucked up? That was the last time I ever slept with him.

the worst thing a guy said to me, seconds after sex, 6 weeks after i gave birth to his child?

''i slept with your sister''
Damn! Did you punch him in the face? :redface:
 
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D_Bubba_Butter

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I wonder, guys; how would you feel if you'd just finished having sex, and your girl said something like "Whoa. That was like being probed with a cocktail weenie!" and gave a similar chuckle.

Would you feel insulted?

The only person on this thread who seems to condone the behaviour of Scarlet's erstwhile bloke is RodRingo, so I'm not sure who these 'guys' are...