Preaching To Bears

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by dannymawg, Nov 20, 2006.

  1. dannymawg

    Gold Member

    Sep 30, 2006
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    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]With a nod to all the circumcision threads out there...


    A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi served the students of a university. They often sat together for shop talk over coffee. One day, someone commented that preaching to people isn't really hard: a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to experiment. Each would go out into the woods, preach to a bear, and attempt to convert it.

    A week later, they met to discuss their experiences.

    Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and wore various bandages, spoke first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods and found a bear. I began to read to him from the Catechism but that bear wanted nothing to do with me and he began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and - Holy Mary, Mother of God! - he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

    Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he
    declaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear did not want to LISTEN. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I DUNKED him real quick and BAPTIZED his savage soul! And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day PRAI-SING JESUS!"

    They looked down at Rabbi Cohen, who they were visiting in hospital. He was in a body cast, with IVs and several monitors connected to him. He was in bad shape. Rabbi Cohen looked up at them and said, "Well, looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start..."
  2. MegaDick

    MegaDick New Member

    Sep 3, 2006
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    Very well told anecdote. Of course the biggest joke is that everyone who viewed this thread expected to find a social criticism of gay men who call themselves, "bears". ha ha
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