Preference for masturbation over sex?

[Sinthome]

Do any of you guys prefer masturbation to sex, or have you ever known someone like this? Before I began studying philosophy and mathematics, I was very interested in becoming a psychotherapist.

I read countless case studies and one running theme in certain neurotic males was that they were unable to enjoy sex. They were often unable to attain erection during sex, and even when they did, and succeeded in climaxing, they did not experience the sex act as not very different from masturbation. These guys saw it as a form of assisted masturbation that was ultimately inferior to masturbation itself. The problems seem not to be organic in origin since most of these guys report masturbating several times a day.

Any insights or comments?

 

[flaman]

i have a friend who can't get off having sex. although his cock gets hard as steel, he has to jerk himself off in order to cum. even during a blow job, he cannot get off. he has to stop and jerk and let his partner finish jerking him off at the right minute. anyone else know someone who has to do this? just curious.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

I suspect a preference for masturbation rather than sex is more widespread that many will admit. Just a sneaking suspicion of mine.

 

[Scarlet Thelema]

Do any of you guys prefer masturbation to sex, or have you ever known someone like this? Before I began studying philosophy and mathematics, I was very interested in becoming a psychotherapist.

I read countless case studies and one running theme in certain neurotic males was that they were unable to enjoy sex. They were often unable to attain erection during sex, and even when they did, and succeeded in climaxing, they did not experience the sex act as not very different from masturbation. These guys saw it as a form of assisted masturbation that was ultimately inferior to masturbation itself. The problems seem not to be organic in origin since most of these guys report masturbating several times a day.

Any insights or comments?

I have, unfortunately, known a couple of men like this. I think that it stems from immaturity, laziness and selfishness, in that the man in question would prefer to continue with onanism than to put forth the effort to interact and communicate sexually with another human being.

 

[sykray]

Oh, wow! We must distinguish between men who say that the sensations of masturbation are the same as those of sex or maybe superior and men who prefer not to have sex with other people.

There is more to having sex than the physical sensations - intimacy, love, caring, tenderness, communication are just a few.

The reasons or motives behind having sex are also various - love, lust, anger, money, reconciliation, appeasement are a selection.

Someone who prefers masturbation to the totality of having loving intimacy in sex with someone is probably showing evidence of neurosis or an attachment disorder.

Someone who says that he loves his partner or having sex with others but in all honesty can give himself better orgasmic sensations is not necessarily neurotic or psychologically disturbed.

I think sex and sexuality are much more complex issues (as is the rest of personal psychology) than most people think. They are multifactorial and not easily reduced to simple "yes or no" answers to straightforward questions.

For some the hassles of relationships may mean that they heavily rely on masturbation. You don't have buy your penis dinner; comb your hair; smell nice; you don't even have hunt for a suitable penis and chat it up (unless we are speaking of a gay encounter, maybe); or whatever to have a wank.

 

[Sinthome]

Oh, wow! We must distinguish between men who say that the sensations of masturbation are the same as those of sex or maybe superior and men who prefer not to have sex with other people.

There is more to having sex than the physical sensations - intimacy, love, caring, tenderness, communication are just a few.

The reasons or motives behind having sex are also various - love, lust, anger, money, reconciliation, appeasement are a selection.

Someone who prefers masturbation to the totality of having loving intimacy in sex with someone is probably showing evidence of neurosis or an attachment disorder.

Someone who says that he loves his partner or having sex with others but in all honesty can give himself better orgasmic sensations is not necessarily neurotic or psychologically disturbed.

I think sex and sexuality are much more complex issues (as is the rest of personal psychology) than most people think. They are multifactorial and not easily reduced to simple "yes or no" answers to straightforward questions.

For some the hassles of relationships may mean that they heavily rely on masturbation. You don't have buy your penis dinner; comb your hair; smell nice; you don't even have hunt for a suitable penis and chat it up (unless we are speaking of a gay encounter, maybe); or whatever to have a wank.

Well said. I agree totally.

 

[yhtang]

Well said. I agree totally.

I second that.

 

[All of that?]

I suspect a preference for masturbation rather than sex is more widespread that many will admit. Just a sneaking suspicion of mine.

No contest for me! I prefer to get a blow job much more than jacking off. I'll jack off when I can't get somebody else to suck me or jack me off, but that's not my preference.

 

[rocck333]

After numerous affairs and a 12 year realtionship with my lover, I find that I like to masturbate more. I use my past fantasies and real life interactions. I like porn. Jacking off is a personal thing and I very intense orgasims. I am 56 and can still shoot a huge load.

 

[open501s]

I seem to remember a study that did say that a majority of men have to wank in order to cum.

 

[Rodeo1177]

While I suppose it is easy to categorize men who prefer masturbation over sex, as being "neurotic." I venture to say that a large number of men who prefer masturbation over sex, do so because of a traumatic experience [real or perceived] in their life that has left them feeling incapable of being, or fearful of having intimacy, love, caring, tenderness, communication, and perhaps most of all "trusting" another person in that way. Thus, self-gratification is safer because it voids out the risk of being rejected, betrayed or unfulfilled, or bringing back unresolved memories and feelings of the traumatic experience lived.

Likewise, it may also rise purely from being bored with sex, or prefering to masturbate over taking the risk of contracting [and even giving] an STD.

 

[steeler_999]

There are an endless number of reasons why many men prefer masturbation. One is the effect that getting older has on your social life. There are fewer potential sex partners around your age still in circulation, and those that are may not be very attractive. And younger people tend not to be interested in older people. So the choices as to having sex may be so limited that masturbation is the most attractive alternative.

 

[B_tallbig]

Sometimes masturbation is better than real sex.:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1::tongue::tongue::tongue:

 

[B_kracker]

I have no problem with sharing my life an feelings I like to pleasure my partner.. having sd that..my cock is not very senseitive .. untill after I cum..prefer masterbation or oral when the moment is about me.. for the record it's been that way since since my teen years..i'm uncut an the skin easily slides back...I just don't get a lot of nerve sensation when fucking..

 

[chesz001]

both..grins~

 

[Ionto]

I like both too. Not the same, but both great.

And of course you don't have to masturbate alone ; I love masturbating with a partner.

 

[maestro071]

I have no problem with sharing my life an feelings I like to pleasure my partner.. having sd that..my cock is not very senseitive .. untill after I cum..prefer masterbation or oral when the moment is about me.. for the record it's been that way since since my teen years..i'm uncut an the skin easily slides back...I just don't get a lot of nerve sensation when fucking..

Same case with me... Much more easily to cum jerking or oral... But the great feeling of having good sex and the full package that goes with, bringing girl to orgasm(s) and full enjoyment and some inner feelings are hard to compare with any mastrubation...

 

[D_Andy_Whorewall]

I'd prefer sex over j/o, but my wife isn't in the mood enough. SO....I'd prefer to j/o than wait week after week.

Even when we do have sex, it's sometimes draining mentaly...am I going slow enough, I don't want to rush things. Was there enough foreplay, she needs alot of foreplay...

Is she ready for penetration? Is she heated up enough to get to climax....Will I last enough to cum with her...will i cum too soon ??

So...I dont even bother trying to initiate sex anymore...haven't in years ! When she's ready she'll reach over...most time I just take it upon myself.

So yea...I prefer j/o.....