Preferences of bisexual men and women

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by poultrygeist, Aug 14, 2011.

?

Which best describes your bisexual preferences? (anonymous poll)

  1. I have intimacy feelings and sexual urges equally for both sexes.

    24 vote(s)
    24.2%
  2. I have more intimacy feelings for the opposite sex but stronger sexual urges for the same sex.

    59 vote(s)
    59.6%
  3. I have more sexual urges for the opposite sex and stronger intimacy feelings for the same sex.

    8 vote(s)
    8.1%
  4. I don't have intimate feelings for either sex but strong sexual urges for both genders.

    5 vote(s)
    5.1%
  5. I have intimacy feelings for both genders, but don't have strong sexual urges for either gender.

    3 vote(s)
    3.0%
  1. poultrygeist

    Verified Gold Member

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    I've been reading about other people on this site talking about how they want to have fun with another person of the same sex in a sexual way, but they don't want either a relationship or specific aspects of closeness and intimacy. I'm curious about this as well and I've given it a lot of thought over the last few years.

    In my case, I consider myself 60/40 because I tend to have a much naturally harder erection with guys than girls. This caused me a great deal of confusion as a teenager because I always preferred to have girlfriends and never pursued having boyfriends (other than having friends with whom I was sexually active). I have more come to terms with my bisexuality in the last year or so and I am actually enjoying and loving it. However, to this day, I have been with guys before and I just am not all that comfortable with kissing, hugging or more intimate feelings, even though I want to be. I am much more comfortable with romantic inclinations towards women than men. This has always bothered me. When I kiss a woman--I love it. But when I kiss a guy--it's okay but not anywhere near as enjoyable to me.

    For me, ideal is having a sort of friendship-relationship. Sort of like a best friend or really good friend with benefits. I think for me if the friendship developed first then it's very possible that things like kissing or hugging would be more comfortable for me.

    I've lamented about this for a long time now because I think it's shallow of me to be interested only in mutual masturbation and oral with another guy. I'm not saying it's shallow of everybody else at all, just that I feel like I'm being shallow by not wanting the kissing, hugging and intimacy. So please understand me, I'm not judging anyone else at all. I just feel like I ought to feel more romantic tenderness towards guys than I do. My wife and I have talked a lot about this and I feel like I'm at a standstill. Obviously my body wants men more than women, but my heart and mind wants women more than men. I find women to be so much more beautiful than men, but again, I get hard easily from gay fantasies and not as much from straight fantasies. I've tried hard to start enjoying making out with other guys so as to hopefully develop more feelings towards them. I guess I just hate the idea of wanting another guy for sex only.

    I'm just curious about everyone's thoughts on this. I know I directed the poll to bisexuals, but please anyone feel free to comment.
     
  2. hardbodystud101

    hardbodystud101 Well-Known Member

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    Curious about what your wife thinks of your sexual feelings towards men?
     
  3. poultrygeist

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    Hang on, I'll log off and let her get on and comment.
     
  4. poultrygal

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    Very simple....I love it!

    When my husband first told me that he is bisexual, I was so turned on. I have since been encouraging him to find his FWB and explore getting more comfortable with the kissing and hugging. I watched him kiss a guy a couple of weeks ago and all it did was make me want to see more. :biggrin1::tongue::wink:

    It probably doesn't hurt that I am bisexual too :biggrin2:
     
  5. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    I'm not sure how to vote to be honest. The older I get the more I'm drawn to women...and I think I'm a damn sight fussier about the sorts of women I'm attracted to then I am about men. 99% of my sexual experience ( and that is experience with a capital E )has been with men and it's quite possible I'm just incredibly jaded if it wasn't for the sharp spikes of lust I get for some women. I dunno. Good question.
     
  6. Opalite

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    I chose the first option. For me, there really isn't any difference. I feel exactly the same whether i'm with a male or female. The only difference depends on the actual person and what I'm looking for at that time.
     
  7. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    I think for me it's a matter of not having the opportunity of being around openly gay or Bi women. If there are gay or Bi women that I'm in contact with on a regular basis in RL...well let's just say they don't exactly walk around with flashing neon signs over their heads. *sigh* With men it's the exact opposite. Very much my comfort level and unleashing me in a club is kinda like dropping a piranha into a tank filled with goldfish. Possibly need to try my hand at a gay club.
     
  8. poultrygeist

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    I'm the same way. I'm extremely picky about the kinds of men I'm attracted to. It's almost like everything has to be perfect. I wish it wasn't that way, but I tend to see more flaws than fulfiling qualities. :frown1:

    I really envy that quality and I hope one day to aspire to being more geared towards the individual rather than trying to fulfill a set of ideals. :cool:


    I feel your sentiments here completely. Week before last P-gal and I went to a gay and lesbian bar and we both loved the experience. We felt totally free and not judged at all. It was amazing. You would have grinned ear to ear at P-gal and how she was exactly like a piranha! Perfect description!:smile:
     
  9. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    I could just imagine P-Gal grinning like that! *swoon*
     
  10. poultrygeist

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    She's been grinning like that all day today for some reason...for the life of me, I can't figure out why :tongue:
     
  11. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Tell her my face still hurts! (she'll know what I mean!)
     
  12. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    poultrygeist, could your harder erections for men be the result of you not having that kind of experience? It is new, and more exciting in the sensual realm. You love your wife but you've been with her a long time, and it's gotten familiar.
    Now bend over. We're running a fundraising raffle on who gets to poke your butt first.
     
  13. poultrygeist

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    She just started laughing a LOT when I told her! :biggrin1:
     
  14. poultrygeist

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    Actually, I've been with several men since I was a teenager. Always been that way. The first BJ I got from a girl I noticed the difference in hardness. And as for the newness factor with my wife, it's fucking crazy because from the moment I first saw her my feelings haven't changed. Believe me, when I look at her I want to jump her bones. :biggrin1:

    Raffle huh? Wow that makes me feel special! But I'll be honest, you guys on this site are probably a whole lot more than my tight little ass could take. I think I'll be a top for awhile....or at least until the raffle goes higher :tongue:
     
  15. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    I saw a guy with a long skinny dick picking up aluminum cans to finance his raffle purchase. You may like it after all.
     
  16. poultrygeist

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    Okay, then that guy wins because I'm a big fan of recycling.
     
  17. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    Awwwww! *puts strapon back in the draw*
     
  18. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    If they can use strapons, his wife may buy a ticket. She wants him to feel what she's felt all these years.
     
  19. poultrygal

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    I feel the same way. It is really hard to find women in RL that are interested in women, not that they are not out there, I just can't find them :confused:. Unless you are interested in meeting the "obvious" women. I am pretty picky about the type of woman I am attracted to...and as Mr PG said earlier, I was like a piranha a couple of weekends ago...I just felt at home at the lesbian bar that he took me to. As he watched I mingled and danced. It was so fun, you should totally do it (just let me know when and where :wink: :tongue:)

     
  20. funnyguy

    funnyguy Active Member

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    CURSES: A question with more problems than solutions for me!
    This is a mind boggling question. I began in puberty with lots of "guy" friends that led to gay experiences which I totally enjoyed. (I chalked it up to "experimentation" then, but I should have known better--Oh foolish youth!) Then, came the expectation that I should find a wife and "settle down." So, I did and things went very well for me, but the "guy/gay " thing never left me. Since then my closest friends have been men, but I do enjoy the company of women, too. More recently, since I am now single again, all of my fantasies have leaned toward men and my yearning for closeness with new male friends. Most of my friends are gay, but I hold back from becoming too sexually involved or intimate with a guy. (Is it commitment that I fear? or changing my entire lifelong identity?) So, my "Bi" self-assessment has probably been wrong all along. I sure have strayed and had infatuations and even loves with men, but always returned to that "safe place." Now, I may have waited too long---I HOPE not!
    Why am I on this site if not my strong attraction for the male penis as one identifier of my lifelong gayness? I have been attracted to more men than women, but ended up married twice to women for many years. And I did love them. Still, I harbor not just lust for men, but genuine affection and love.
    Am I a closeted gay or am I Bisexual?--I no longer hazard a guess to that thorny question.
    Sorry if this is the wrong thread, but the OP hit my raw nerves.
     
    #20 funnyguy, Aug 15, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2011
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