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- Mar 16, 2010
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- 69% Gay, 31% Straight
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- Male
I've been reading about other people on this site talking about how they want to have fun with another person of the same sex in a sexual way, but they don't want either a relationship or specific aspects of closeness and intimacy. I'm curious about this as well and I've given it a lot of thought over the last few years.
In my case, I consider myself 60/40 because I tend to have a much naturally harder erection with guys than girls. This caused me a great deal of confusion as a teenager because I always preferred to have girlfriends and never pursued having boyfriends (other than having friends with whom I was sexually active). I have more come to terms with my bisexuality in the last year or so and I am actually enjoying and loving it. However, to this day, I have been with guys before and I just am not all that comfortable with kissing, hugging or more intimate feelings, even though I want to be. I am much more comfortable with romantic inclinations towards women than men. This has always bothered me. When I kiss a woman--I love it. But when I kiss a guy--it's okay but not anywhere near as enjoyable to me.
For me, ideal is having a sort of friendship-relationship. Sort of like a best friend or really good friend with benefits. I think for me if the friendship developed first then it's very possible that things like kissing or hugging would be more comfortable for me.
I've lamented about this for a long time now because I think it's shallow of me to be interested only in mutual masturbation and oral with another guy. I'm not saying it's shallow of everybody else at all, just that I feel like I'm being shallow by not wanting the kissing, hugging and intimacy. So please understand me, I'm not judging anyone else at all. I just feel like I ought to feel more romantic tenderness towards guys than I do. My wife and I have talked a lot about this and I feel like I'm at a standstill. Obviously my body wants men more than women, but my heart and mind wants women more than men. I find women to be so much more beautiful than men, but again, I get hard easily from gay fantasies and not as much from straight fantasies. I've tried hard to start enjoying making out with other guys so as to hopefully develop more feelings towards them. I guess I just hate the idea of wanting another guy for sex only.
I'm just curious about everyone's thoughts on this. I know I directed the poll to bisexuals, but please anyone feel free to comment.
In my case, I consider myself 60/40 because I tend to have a much naturally harder erection with guys than girls. This caused me a great deal of confusion as a teenager because I always preferred to have girlfriends and never pursued having boyfriends (other than having friends with whom I was sexually active). I have more come to terms with my bisexuality in the last year or so and I am actually enjoying and loving it. However, to this day, I have been with guys before and I just am not all that comfortable with kissing, hugging or more intimate feelings, even though I want to be. I am much more comfortable with romantic inclinations towards women than men. This has always bothered me. When I kiss a woman--I love it. But when I kiss a guy--it's okay but not anywhere near as enjoyable to me.
For me, ideal is having a sort of friendship-relationship. Sort of like a best friend or really good friend with benefits. I think for me if the friendship developed first then it's very possible that things like kissing or hugging would be more comfortable for me.
I've lamented about this for a long time now because I think it's shallow of me to be interested only in mutual masturbation and oral with another guy. I'm not saying it's shallow of everybody else at all, just that I feel like I'm being shallow by not wanting the kissing, hugging and intimacy. So please understand me, I'm not judging anyone else at all. I just feel like I ought to feel more romantic tenderness towards guys than I do. My wife and I have talked a lot about this and I feel like I'm at a standstill. Obviously my body wants men more than women, but my heart and mind wants women more than men. I find women to be so much more beautiful than men, but again, I get hard easily from gay fantasies and not as much from straight fantasies. I've tried hard to start enjoying making out with other guys so as to hopefully develop more feelings towards them. I guess I just hate the idea of wanting another guy for sex only.
I'm just curious about everyone's thoughts on this. I know I directed the poll to bisexuals, but please anyone feel free to comment.