Okay so now she's saying she definitely had her last period in April, on 1st April (lol). Does this help anyone with the dates?
And I know no one possesses her blood work. I was just wondering if anyone could work anything out from the dates and information given.
Sounds like a DNA test will be on order either way, with all the misinformation around.
Ok, so that makes the "coitus baby possibilitus" dates, Contestant 1 -Sat 2nd April, & Contestant 2 - Fri 8th, & Sat 16th April.
So she literally came off the rag & boned Contestant-1, yet waited till she was far more fertile for Contestant -2, who gave himself a double helping.
If she's telling the truth, & is accurate, I'd lay odds of 3-1 on Contestant 1, & 1-5 on Contestant 2. Contestant 2 should run to the hills :wink:.
That said, she clearly wanted to get knocked up - no contraception at all I'd guess. In my earlier example - I'd explicitly asked the girl if she was on the pill, & then a second question - "which one", my point being - women get a bit funny when they're broody, & honesty can fly out of the window.
8 more months of uncertainty for your friend then.
Tell him that he can lessen future obligations in the following ways:
1/ Using the time exactly after birth as a time to go on a round the world trip - no income - can't be charged.
2/ Emigrating
3/ Putting more money into a pension fund (half gets excluded)
4/ Setting up his own company, rather than work PAYE, & reinvesting income, paying himself a lower wage, & taking the balance in dividends.(lowers the amount you have to pay)
5/ If he wants a mortgage, get it now, or if he wants to move to slightly more expensive accommodation - do it now - (rent & mortgage interest payments come off your gross liabilites)
6/ If he's going to save any money - save it pre birth - assets can't be touched.
Now the hard part - if it is his.
He has no legal right to see his child whatsoever, & neither does his family, but he has a legal obligation to pay.
Should the relationship between him & the mother breakdown - & it seems like she was looking for a donor - he is screwed - the CSA will come - & he will be paying for a child he cannot see. This breakdown will come at a point when she gets involved with a new man, or when she feels he has let her down by not providing more than the legal amount(!), she tires of him coming around, he doesn't come round at the EXACT time that she wants etc, etc.
At this point he may venture into the court system. The mother may be guilt tripped into allowing contact at a contact centre - normally a hostile piss stinking environment. Social workers will be appointed by the court. They will hate your friend from the start - that is the base position - he will have to prove them wrong - impossible.
THe court system costs a lot of money - avoid solicitors or barristers - he should get a McKenzie friend to represent him - available from all good father's groups like F4J etc. It's a hell of a lot cheaper, with the same success rate - but it still might not do any good.
If she wants to break contact - break court orders - the courts will not enforce sanctions against her - but they will against your friend.
That's more good, free, advice than anyone ever gets, you're welcome.
PS - if he wants to see his potential child, I would advise immediately fostering good relations with the mother. That doesn't mean be a pussy, but being assertive - expressing the valid concerns about the paternity, but also offering to occassionally help her. He should be nice to her, & suggest working out a plan now for access & willingness to pay maintenance assessed by the CSA - stating that the well being of the child should come first, & of course that means helping her out too.
They may not be together, but that doesn't mean that they can't work together, because they may have made another life. Also he should state that being late by 5 to 15 minutes because of traffic post birth, shouldn't be an area of conflict.
If they work at this now, tackle the areas of conflict (including her next partners - & he'll have to deal with that - as she will with his) - they might have a good chance of getting through all this well.
I hope the cynical & positive bits are of assistance!:biggrin1: