how come women find that flattering but if we stare at your boobs you get upset
Well it's with my boyfriend for one thing, not some random guy off the street. He's free to stare at whatever he wants (provided we're fooling around at the time).
A couple times when it'd happened we'd been making out for a bit first, and there might've been some light touching through clothes beforehand but I wasn't rubbing him or anything, and when I pulled his shorts & underwear down he had an orgasm then without me touching him yet.
I wouldn't want it to happen all (or even most) of the time, but on the few times it has happened I always thought it was sweet and it felt like he was super-excited to be w/ me, and so it was flattering.
It happened once too when I was just straddling him and we were clothed, but we were kind of grinding then so I don't think that counts.