Preparing for sex

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by willty, Jan 3, 2009.

  1. willty

    willty New Member

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    Against all odds, the 40-year-old-virgin has found someone.

    Why against all odds? Because I am not out. I am a professional, and I have kids, and I do not want to be "out" for many reasons. I was married for 20+ years, and despite the fact that I am a damn good fuck (so the ladies tell me), what I want is a man. I have read the forums on lpsg for a long time, and struggled to understand just who I am. I can relate to women just fine, but my deepest desires and needs are for a man. In recent months, I had a couple of one night stands, courtesy of lpsg chat rooms, lol, but they were pretty tame, mutual masturbation and kissing. Then I met this guy on another site.

    He is something else. He is slightly older than me (never dreamed I'd go for an older guy) and dismayingly very experienced. We have had 5 dates and have spent hours in bed, but again, just kissing and touching. He is a total top. I am paranoid about std's, and told him he would have to get an HIV test before I'd let him fuck me. Go ahead and roll your eyes! He has done so, and on our next date, I am his for the taking.

    I really don't think that I am a bottom, I fantasize about fucking him! But I really care about this guy, and I want to satisfy him. So is this a deal breaker? Can someone become a bottom for someone they love?

    Yep, I said love. We are falling in love with each other. He is tired of the random sex scene, and I don't want to even start it. I am looking for love and relationship, and so is he. It seems miraculous that we have found each other.

    So I am asking for advice from you guys, most of whom are much, much more experienced than me.

    He is big. He told me he thinks he is 7x6, but that is a very conservative measurement. I am 6x5.5 and he is MUCH BIGGER than me, especially MUCH THICKER. As far as I am concerned, he is as big as I would ever want, and I am totally into big dicks.

    How should I prepare for anal sex? How do you guys do it? Should I go to the drugstore and get a douche? How many of you guys douche before sex? And I am worried about his size. What can I do to help me take his big dick?

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
     
  2. Ickday

    Ickday Member

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    I'm much more of a top, but I've bottomed for guys I liked/loved. Well, one. I haven't been around much :p He only bottomed once before it ended. [[He was scared of my size, obv. XD ]] But I think it's possible. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the most comfortable thing, but I think I got used to it after the third or fourth time. It actually gets enjoyable. My guy was just about average, so I'm not sure if it applies the same.

    We didn't douche, but we are (well, were =\ ) pretty meticulously clean guys.

    Honestly the best way to start (which we didn't figure out until the third time) is to finger a bit. I'm not a fan of a finger in my ass, but stretching out really REALLY helped. Work your way up to two or three. I'd go for the latter. Without doing that, I basically saw stars and had to get off and writhe in pain for a minute or so upon first entry. I wouldn't recommend it.
     
  3. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    I think it is best to get comfortable with anal sex with yourself first so it is easier with your partner. You can do that by looking at my post here:
    http://www.lpsg.org/110906-first-time-fingering-yourself.html

    One HIV test is not necessarily indicative of no HIV because the anti-bodies may not yet be present. It has to be followed several months down the road (I think it is 6?) with another test. Best to use condoms or allow him to just finger you (with a glove on) or stick to oral.

    So, the chat rooms here is where it is where it's happenin'? :biggrin1:
     
  4. Rocky14441

    Verified Gold Member

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    Buy a dildo. The first time can be painful even with a small dick. Once you ease into it it is totally worth it, and when you cum with his big dick inside you you will wonder how you went without it all those years.
    With a newbie, make sure you are in charge. Loosen up with a dildo (vibrators are better) and loosen up before you even let him in you. You can even make it part of your foreplay. When you finally let him in, COMMUNICATE. He wants it to be good for you as well. And, for that fisrt half a minute of pain, have him pinch your nipples hard or ssomething else to distract you. In the end, your body will let go and let you really enjoy this.
    I,m a "flexible top". This means for me that I can take it as well as I can gie it, but I have to be in charge. Have fun! Congratulations! Make him buy you dinner, you deserve it!
     
  5. invisibleman

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    Sounds complicated to me. I foresee a lot of trouble, though. If you can't be honest with who you are with others, your partner will look like a homewrecker. I was in a similar situation only I was the gay one, I came REAL close to being that homewrecker.

    The guy I was involved with didn't EVEN wear a wedding ring. I didn't know.
    And the wifey let ME know that this guy has kids. But she wasn't angry at me. Apparently, this sort of thing happens a lot with him. (I should've known better. The guy was really hot looking.)

    You should get any STD screens done if your partner is getting them, too. It is only fair.
    Get a Hepatitis combo shot series.
     
  6. Jovial

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    You should both get tested for herpes 1&2 also.
     
  7. MarkLondon

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    Please insist he uses a condom. It can take up to 3 months for HIV antibodies to appear in a test. During that time it is very infective.

    Using a condom will also save you having to douche, which can irritate the rectum and make it more vulnerable to any kind of infection.

    When the HIV epidemic started in gay men it was mostly the promiscuous guys that went down with it - guys who typically had lots of anonymous encounters. Nowadays any sexually active promiscuous gay man with half a brain practises safer sex. At an HIV charity I volunteered with a lot of new infections sadly seemed to occur in guys who thought they could trust their partner.

    Being fucked for the first time is a big step to take for a man. Being fucked bareback is an even bigger one. Please be very sure of your relationship before you take the bigger step.
     
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