Against all odds, the 40-year-old-virgin has found someone. Why against all odds? Because I am not out. I am a professional, and I have kids, and I do not want to be "out" for many reasons. I was married for 20+ years, and despite the fact that I am a damn good fuck (so the ladies tell me), what I want is a man. I have read the forums on lpsg for a long time, and struggled to understand just who I am. I can relate to women just fine, but my deepest desires and needs are for a man. In recent months, I had a couple of one night stands, courtesy of lpsg chat rooms, lol, but they were pretty tame, mutual masturbation and kissing. Then I met this guy on another site. He is something else. He is slightly older than me (never dreamed I'd go for an older guy) and dismayingly very experienced. We have had 5 dates and have spent hours in bed, but again, just kissing and touching. He is a total top. I am paranoid about std's, and told him he would have to get an HIV test before I'd let him fuck me. Go ahead and roll your eyes! He has done so, and on our next date, I am his for the taking. I really don't think that I am a bottom, I fantasize about fucking him! But I really care about this guy, and I want to satisfy him. So is this a deal breaker? Can someone become a bottom for someone they love? Yep, I said love. We are falling in love with each other. He is tired of the random sex scene, and I don't want to even start it. I am looking for love and relationship, and so is he. It seems miraculous that we have found each other. So I am asking for advice from you guys, most of whom are much, much more experienced than me. He is big. He told me he thinks he is 7x6, but that is a very conservative measurement. I am 6x5.5 and he is MUCH BIGGER than me, especially MUCH THICKER. As far as I am concerned, he is as big as I would ever want, and I am totally into big dicks. How should I prepare for anal sex? How do you guys do it? Should I go to the drugstore and get a douche? How many of you guys douche before sex? And I am worried about his size. What can I do to help me take his big dick? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!