Pressing the Flesh

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Gillette, Aug 28, 2007.

  1. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    Pumping, gripping, squeezing....

    The handshake.

    Dead fish, bone crusher, pumping the arm so hard that you think your shoulder will come out of joint.

    When I clasp hands with someone for the first time I squeeze just hard enough to press our palms together, fingers firm but not tight. Sometimes one pump, down then up and hold it for the span of a second while holding eye contact then release. There's also a little move I do if I'm interested in a guy that I'm keeping to myself.

    How much attention do you pay to the kind of handshake you get?
    Does it indicate anything about the person to you?

    What kind of handshake do you have?
     
  2. findfirefox

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,143
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    I don't pay much attention to any handshake, I don't in general like "touching" other people or like being touched, and a handshake bothers me mainly because I think of all the places their hand has been. (Not saying that my hands are perfect though)
     
  3. burns1de

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,789
    Likes Received:
    8
    I have a firm - but not too firm - handshake. I never let the full extend of my strength show, though, just in case...
     
  4. wldhoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,176
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    U.S.
    A handshake is very important to me. It gives me an idea of the character of the person, which is one of the reasons it is evaluated so much when interviewing.

    I hate it when a girl gives me that light, dainty limp handshake, as if she is so delicate she can barely lift her tea cup. Right away I think "weak, phony....".

    I have very rarely had one that is too hard, and only from a guy that is talking and enthusiastic about his subject.

    I place my hand in theirs and give a light but firm handhold while looking the person in the eye.
     
  5. Osiris

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2007
    Messages:
    2,725
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Wherever the dolphins are going
    Firm, confident, but not to powerful. Showing confidence, good. Breaking the other persons hand, bad.
     
  6. Big Del

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2006
    Messages:
    5,054
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London UK
    I hate wet, limp handshakes

    I think you can tell a lot from a handshake
     
  7. No_Strings

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,100
    Likes Received:
    6
    I used to have a really soppy handshake, literally offer my hand and do nothing with it (limp wrist, harr harr).

    When someone mentioned this, I payed attnetion - now I offer one or two firm shakes and usually end up being the stronger hand of the shake.

    I don't think handshake truly reveals anything about a person, eye contact is what's important.
     
  8. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    I'm guessing that you wouldn't seal the deal with spitting into your palm and shaking hands with someone who had done the same. (I give that a hearty ICK, too)

    Smart.

    I've always wondered about the people who put their full strength into a handshake. I always thought the gesture originated as a symbol of peace ('feel, no weapons"). Trying to gain dominance by grinding the bones of someone's hand seems to defeat that purpose.
     
  9. agnslz

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    4,778
    Likes Received:
    14
    I'm one of those rude people who refuses to shake hands. Mostly because of my germophobia. But also because when I did used to shake hands with people, I hated those men who gave really firm handshakes. I never understood that, and all it ever told me was that that person was an insecure jerk trying to prove how manly and sincere he is within a simple gesture.:rolleyes:

    I also hate high fives and bumping of fists. Please, I'm much to cool for that, don't embarrass me with those!:eek::rolleyes: And also don't set yourself up to be embarrassed when I leave you hanging, as I most certainly will.:tongue:
     
  10. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Ditto... nothing more makes me want to grab hand sanitizer.
     
  11. bobabooey69

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2007
    Messages:
    3,176
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    FL
    Handshake is out...I am all about the "fist bump".

    Or maybe that has gone out of style already?:33:

    YouTube - Fist Bump
     
  12. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    I've never really paid much attention to my handshake. I'd assume it's pretty "average", whatever that means.
     
  13. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
     
  14. Scorpiorising

    Scorpiorising New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2006
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I think a handshake indicates the character, genuinness (sp?), and interest of a person. I pay close attention to handshakes (I studied a little about body language). I try to give a firm handshake and show genuine interest in the person I'm either meeting for the first time or just running into. In business, it's one of those things that can make a huge impression and can even generate more business.

    Some handshakes I've come across:

    The dead fish: I hate it. It either means, 'I'm too busy and uninterested in you', or 'I have no personality what-so-ever'.

    Firm: 'I am genuinely interested what you have to say and respect you'

    Vice: 'I think a lot of myself and want to dominate you'

    Dominant: This one is when the person offers their hand palm down so that you must recieve from beneath. 'I'm have an overpowering personality' or 'I am in a position of power at work'. Either way, they are being dominant. Interestingly, I was introduced to someone that worked in a supermarket (a friend of a friend) and he actually took my hand and forced his over to the dominant position. I found it very interesting because I wondered what he was trying to say with that very conscious action. But, it did put me off and felt rather aggressive.

    Submissive: The opposite of Dominant. 'I'm a push over'. 'You can boss me around to do whatever you want buy occasionally I will explode out of resentment'.

    Several Squeezes: Don't know what this means, but I find it wierd.

    Odd: There is a chiropractor I know who will grip your hand, kinda let go and then regrip one finger at a time. I'm sure he developed it as his own unique handshake to display personality, but I found it creepy.

    Anyway, I think a uniform, simple but firm handshake always sends the best message. I think the role of a handshake is to NOT call attention to itself.
     
  15. VeeP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,787
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Firm, yet always commensurate with the the other person's relative strength. If they bone crush I squeeze back even harder until they let off, just to telepath a little message. Definitely pay attention to whether a person goes in palm-up or palm-down as it can tell you a lot about them without a word being spoken.

    Creepy, indeed. I'd say it's borderline groping in fact. Gross.
     
  16. Drifterwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    15,725
    Likes Received:
    386
    Location:
    Fingringhoe (GB)
    Firm, no shaking, strong eye contact. Sometimes free hand to shoulder, sometimes a kiss on either cheek with men. Women I know, always kisses, women I don't know, just a handshake.
     
  17. Love-it

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern California
    I love a firm handshake with the ladies, they are self confident.

    I do not like a handshake that is not fully engaged, web to web. If someone grabs just my fingers I feel that they are not paying attention.

    The limp fish, clammy hand shake makes me want to shake the crap/piss off my hands. I think people with handshakes like that are insecure.
     
  18. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    WA
    Shake, pull away, come back in for the fist bump

    unless in an interview or something, then it's just a generic shake, like I am picking up a hand and putting it down.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted