pretty close to desperate

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by iwantc2c, Nov 7, 2011.

  1. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    i have been out as bi to my family for almost a year now and my mom is still in denial simply cuz she is a die hard catholic. but that's not the point of this thread. i need really good advice. i am 19 asian in edmonton canada. and i am a gay sex virgin. i have never fucked or been fucked and i am getting to a point where porn just really doesn't do it for me sexually and intimately. come to think of it, porn was never really intimate haha. point is, i really want a boyfriend to have a romantic relationship with and fool around and take care of me and share the same love i would have for him and have that love returned to me. i am thinking of going to my first gay club next week and i don't know if it's smart to try and find a boyfriend in a club. this city is a little more accepting of homosexuals compared to my old town but how do i ask a guy out if it is hard to randomly ask if he is gay? my gaydar might be a little off as i often ask straight guys if they are gay and my basis is how well they are dressed. i am just confused out of my mind. i need help, how do i find a guy to date and where do i find him? anyone please!!!!!!:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:
     
  2. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    you are still young (seriously) 19 ... take it easy and take your time... no need to rush this. you know who you are.. you don't have to have sex with someone to prove it.

    the right person will come in time...just be yourself, be friendly and open to people.
     
  3. Bbucko

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    Where you meet a guy is much less important than what his character is like. If you want to try and find a guy in a club, that's fine. Just be aware that most folks don't go to such places to be themselves; they usually go to project a persona. It can take a while to really figure out who he really is, and if you find his genuine personality to be as compelling as his persona was. You should also be really careful in drinking any alcohol to try and relax. One drink over the line can render you a sloppy mess without the best judgment.

    At least around here in Florida there are groups for young men (18-14, usually), which host functions where you can interact without the distractions of loud music and booze. There are also gay sport groups, bowling leagues, etc. You might want to explore those sorts of venues, either with or without going to any night club or bar.

    As to the whole gaydar thing: practice makes perfect. It's rarely if ever about clothing. Rather it's about subtle things like body language and eye contact; there are just certain ways straight men communicate that show a certain sexual tension toward women that they never do with other men.

    Good luck!
     
    #3 Bbucko, Nov 7, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2011
  4. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    thanks! i guess i am still young. i just feel that although i don't need sex, i just would love the intimacy:redface:
     
  5. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    thanks so much for the advice. sadly, i am still trying to explore and see if there is anything the sort of groups and leagues, it's still pretty hush hush around here in Alberta, Canada. makes me wish i could just move to some place more accepting. like well apparently Florida and San Fran i guess lol. i guess i always thought that because i'm bi, clothing is a big part of my life and i guess i just thought most others were the same way. any tips on body language??
     
  6. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    ---->> Pride Centre of Edmonton

    You have to get out and meet people, young one.
    The first relationship I experienced with a woman was around the same age, and I did not know if she was gay or not, just that there was something between us. And I never felt that connection to any other woman before her, it sort of activated my gaydar and put me on the right track for me needs - very much in line with Mr. Bucko, I do not think it is something one can teach as much as you have to experience and learn what, to you, signals "my people."

    You'll get there. :hug:
     
  7. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    i see where you are coming from. thanks for the link as well too hahaha this should come in handy. ok, i'll try to stay alert for signs and i too had a girlfriend who ended up being gay. i guess now it made sense because she didn't like holding hands or kissing? we just hugged a lot and she wouldn't touch me down there lol but i got to touch her in a lot of places:confused:
     
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