pretty women the most insecure?

kazooplayer

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As to the OP, my ex is super hot, wonderfully charming, a smile that can light a room, and also the most insecure girl I've ever met; to her, anything less than perfect is bad. It's so weird, but I think beautiful people get so much attention that the more humble of them have to assume it's at least in part for negative reasons.

I find green eyes make my legs go out from under me, especially with some fiery red hair on top, and - one can assume - below.

LOL -- don't get me started on my "redheads are mutants" rant!

Ooops! Too late!

We actually ARE genetically mutated -- we have an extra sensory chromosome that makes us more sensitive to pain/touch. Some people even blame that chromosone for our supposed "fiery" tempers.

So to anyone who says, "I have a thing for redheads...", I have a typical redhead response: WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???!!!!!!!!!

:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

Hell yeah! Red-heads FTW! I've actually had a girl ask if she could see my pubes cause she'd never seen fire crotch :smile:.
 

naughty

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Snippet From Psychology Today

[Note: It appears women's concern about their beauty-approval rating from men is far older than is commonly believed]

*****************
Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature

By:Alan S. Miller Ph.D., Satoshi Kanazawa Ph.D.

The implications of some of the ideas in this article may seem immoral, contrary to our ideals, or offensive. We state them because they are true, supported by documented scientific evidence. Like it or not, human nature is simply not politically correct.

********
*************
Men like blond bombshells (and women want to look like them)

Long before TV—in 15th- and 16th- century Italy, and possibly two millennia ago—women were dying their hair blond. A recent study shows that in Iran, where exposure to Western media and culture is limited, women are actually more concerned with their body image, and want to lose more weight, than their American counterparts. It is difficult to ascribe the preferences and desires of women in 15th-century Italy and 21st-century Iran to socialization by media.

Women's desire to look like Barbie—young with small waist, large breasts, long blond hair, and blue eyes—is a direct, realistic, and sensible response to the desire of men to mate with women who look like her. There is evolutionary logic behind each of these features.

Men prefer young women in part because they tend to be healthier than older women. One accurate indicator of health is physical attractiveness; another is hair. Healthy women have lustrous, shiny hair, whereas the hair of sickly people loses its luster. Because hair grows slowly, shoulder-length hair reveals several years of a woman's health status.

Men also have a universal preference for women with a low waist-to-hip ratio. They are healthier and more fertile than other women; they have an easier time conceiving a child and do so at earlier ages because they have larger amounts of essential reproductive hormones. Thus men are unconsciously seeking healthier and more fertile women when they seek women with small waists.

Until very recently, it was a mystery to evolutionary psychology why men prefer women with large breasts, since the size of a woman's breasts has no relationship to her ability to lactate. But Harvard anthropologist Frank Marlowe contends that larger, and hence heavier, breasts sag more conspicuously with age than do smaller breasts. Thus they make it easier for men to judge a woman's age (and her reproductive value) by sight—suggesting why men find women with large breasts more attractive.
Alternatively, men may prefer women with large breasts for the same reason they prefer women with small waists. A new study of Polish women shows that women with large breasts and tight waists have the greatest fecundity, indicated by their levels of two reproductive hormones (estradiol and progesterone).

Blond hair is unique in that it changes dramatically with age. Typically, young girls with light blond hair become women with brown hair. Thus, men who prefer to mate with blond women are unconsciously attempting to mate with younger (and hence, on average, healthier and more fecund) women. It is no coincidence that blond hair evolved in Scandinavia and northern Europe, probably as an alternative means for women to advertise their youth, as their bodies were concealed under heavy clothing.

Women with blue eyes should not be any different from those with green or brown eyes. Yet preference for blue eyes seems both universal and undeniable—in males as well as females. One explanation is that the human pupil dilates when an individual is exposed to something that she likes. For instance, the pupils of women and infants (but not men) spontaneously dilate when they see babies. Pupil dilation is an honest indicator of interest and attraction. And the size of the pupil is easiest to determine in blue eyes. Blue-eyed people are considered attractive as potential mates because it is easiest to determine whether they are interested in us or not.

The irony is that none of the above is true any longer. Through face-lifts, wigs, liposuction, surgical breast augmentation, hair dye, and color contact lenses, any woman, regardless of age, can have many of the key features that define ideal female beauty. And men fall for them. Men can cognitively understand that many blond women with firm, large breasts are not actually 15 years old, but they still find them attractive because their evolved psychological mechanisms are fooled by modern inventions that did not exist in the ancestral environment.


*************
Having sons reduces the likelihood of divorce

Sociologists and demographers have discovered that couples who have at least one son face significantly less risk of divorce than couples who have only daughters. Why is this?

Since a man's mate value is largely determined by his wealth, status, and power—whereas a woman's is largely determined by her youth and physical attractiveness—the father has to make sure that his son will inherit his wealth, status, and power, regardless of how much or how little of these resources he has. In contrast, there is relatively little that a father (or mother) can do to keep a daughter youthful or make her more physically attractive.

The continued presence of (and investment by) the father is therefore important for the son, but not as crucial for the daughter. The presence of sons thus deters divorce and departure of the father from the family more than the presence of daughters, and this effect tends to be stronger among wealthy families.

**************
The midlife crisis is a myth—sort of

Many believe that men go through a midlife crisis when they are in middle age. Not quite. Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crises, but it's not because they are middle-aged. It's because their wives are. From the evolutionary psychological perspective, a man's midlife crisis is precipitated by his wife's imminent menopause and end of her reproductive career, and thus his renewed need to attract younger women.

Accordingly, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman would not go through a midlife crisis, while a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would, just like a more typical 50-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman. It's not his midlife that matters; it's hers. When he buys a shiny-red sports car, he's not trying to regain his youth; he's trying to attract young women to replace his menopausal wife by trumpeting his flash and cash.

******************

I dont think these ideas may be popular to admit, but I do think they bear out quite often.There are always exceptions to the rule but there is a reason blond was for years the best selling hair color and red second. People want to stand out. They want to distinguish themselves in a "good" way from the competition. We get societal cues as to what is accepted and what is not. How many times have you seen someone squeezing themselves into an outfit that was made for someone much smaller in a desperate attempt to be sexy? Or women dyeing their hair unnatural colors because they have been told by the media that too is desirable?

I have a friend who had a melt down after dyeing her hair red and purchasing contact lenses that in no way matched her natural God given beauty ( chocolate skin and dark hair and eyes) . Her hair was falling out from being over processed and dyed and the eye color looked almost mutant.
I told her that she needed to find her own head turning look that she could manage on her own. I suggested she shave her hair down to a close cropped afro and put on her hoop earrings ,and clear contacts. The next day she made the fearsome trip to the barber and had it done . What was revealed was a sexy long legged gazelle of a woman. The first day she called me excitedly that men of every description had turned around smiling and given her much positive attention. It did my heart good. She made it work on her own terms. I just cant wait for her to get back from meeting her Online amour now to see how it all went! :biggrin1:
 

whatireallywant

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OH mY GOD!! Arrogant sons of bitches aren't they? They have condensed human sexual* nature into 8 paragraphs, and called it truth.

Psychology is a field RIFE with one's own prejudices and ego. I don't even consider it a science, because it attempts to take the human experience and emotion, and quantify it with statistics.

*the most complex of all of human nature

Exactly. My first college degree was in psychology, but now I actually hate the field precisely because of "studies" like this one! :mad:

Of course, the fact that I have nearly the opposite body type of the "desirable" one probably has some bearing on that, but I don't think that is all of it.
 

B_New End

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I dont think these ideas may be popular to admit, but I do think they bear out quite often.There are always exceptions to the rule but there is a reason blond was for years the best selling hair color and red second. People want to stand out. They want to distinguish themselves in a "good" way from the competition. We get societal cues as to what is accepted and what is not. How many times have you seen someone squeezing themselves into an outfit that was made for someone much smaller in a desperate attempt to be sexy? Or women dyeing their hair unnatural colors because they have been told by the media that too is desirable?

I have a friend who had a melt down after dyeing her hair red and purchasing contact lenses that in no way matched her natural God given beauty ( chocolate skin and dark hair and eyes) . Her hair was falling out from being over processed and dyed and the eye color looked almost mutant.
I told her that she needed to find her own head turning look that she could manage on her own. I suggested she shave her hair down to a close cropped afro and put on her hoop earrings ,and clear contacts. The next day she made the fearsome trip to the barber and had it done . What was revealed was a sexy long legged gazelle of a woman. The first day she called me excitedly that men of every description had turned around smiling and given her much positive attention. It did my heart good. She made it work on her own terms. I just cant wait for her to get back from meeting her Online amour now to see how it all went! :biggrin1:

Brown people, with blue contacts, look like the undead. And the reason they do it has nothing to do with looking "younger' as the article suggests, and has everything to do with wanting to be a part of the white power/wealth structure, and modern media conditioning, IMHO.

I will not deny that a bountiful bosom may be generally more attractive to men, but I also think, innately, men like bigger hips (not barbie).

Bu the eye and hair color thing is just ridiculous.

common sense says people want to stand out....
or do they want to blend in and be fashionable?

People are unique individuals. The premise of this study is flawed. I find it interesting both psychologists are from a Japanese school. If anything, they should have narrowed the scope of their findings to "North European".

In fact, I bet, if you asked Sicilians, or africans, or Indians, or Japanese or any other race group, if they could pick a mate, what would they prefer for hair and eye color... I would bet a vast majority would choose people who resemble them... dark hair, dark eyes.

My hardest crush was a brown-eyed/brunette girl, and my first wet dream was a hot brown eyed/brunette teacher. I surmise that is why they are a preference.

This study is so sophomoric. It reads like it was written by an internet troll, and not a respected psychologist. In fact, if I were a respected psychologist, I would not take the time to peer review this nonsense.
 

stamrod

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Bu the eye and hair color thing is just ridiculous.

common sense says people want to stand out....
or do they want to blend in and be fashionable?

People are unique individuals. The premise of this study is flawed. I find it interesting both psychologists are from a Japanese school. If anything, they should have narrowed the scope of their findings to "North European".

In fact, I bet, if you asked Sicilians, or africans, or Indians, or Japanese or any other race group, if they could pick a mate, what would they prefer for hair and eye color... I would bet a vast majority would choose people who resemble them... dark hair, dark eyes.

My hardest crush was a brown-eyed/brunette girl, and my first wet dream was a hot brown eyed/brunette teacher. I surmise that is why they are a preference.

This study is so sophomoric. It reads like it was written by an internet troll, and not a respected psychologist. In fact, if I were a respected psychologist, I would not take the time to peer review this nonsense.

I agree that the study is poorly done and not conclusive at all. However, I would like to add some info to the mix. We don't always prefer people who resemble ourselves. One classic example are Asian cultures. Unlike most Americans, Asians have historically preferred whiter skin. In fact, instead of tanning salons, China, Japan and other east asian countries have bleaching products to make their skin more white. Why? Because in the past, the elite didn't have to work in the fields and weren't as tanned. Tanned people were the lower class people, so women tended to try to lighten their skin so they would look like part of the elite. That perception of beauty lasts many generations and tanning salons are still rare in east Asia.
 

B_New End

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I agree that the study is poorly done and not conclusive at all. However, I would like to add some info to the mix. We don't always prefer people who resemble ourselves. One classic example are Asian cultures. Unlike most Americans, Asians have historically preferred whiter skin. In fact, instead of tanning salons, China, Japan and other east asian countries have bleaching products to make their skin more white. Why? Because in the past, the elite didn't have to work in the fields and weren't as tanned. Tanned people were the lower class people, so women tended to try to lighten their skin so they would look like part of the elite. That perception of beauty lasts many generations and tanning salons are still rare in east Asia.

Yup, I agree. Much like how tanning became fashionable in the United states around the 1900's, (but because tanning represented a good work ethic)

BUT

That is skin. And what it represents is class and power, not youth and fertility. I think that is what upsets me the most about this article. Many things today are class and wealth, not biological. To suggest it is biological, by a psychologist, means they need to take more sociology.

When it comes to hair or eyes.... different story.

The fact is, races tend to be attracted to eachother.. by a large majority. The only reason why a large amount of japanese men would want a blonde hair blue eyed woman, would be the current infatuation of many Japanese with western culture. Even then... I would bet dollars to donuts most men would prefer a black eyed, black haird Japanese girl.

The whole reasoning of blonde = youth and "blue eyes show excitement" is such utter crap.

And also, when it comes to fashion and taste, let's not forget the impact of prostitution.
 

D_Maurice Mountlilly

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i just showed this post to my cousin and her friend(the ones who were the subject of this thread)and they were floored with all the comments and insight.i think my cousin is on the right track to gettin' over this,but her friend..that's another story.my cousin told me her friend is gonna join because she liked looking at all the meat on this site(lol)
 

vibratingfinger

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All I have to say about that study is that having fucked a handful of Iranian women last summer that I was there (they are not shy to jump on you for a green card), they definitely don't take care of their bodies. So that part isn't true. They do it no more than American women at least. Though dying their hair is very common. Typically though most Iranian women have beautiful thick and dark hair. I don't like it when they go blonde. As for exposure to western media, everybody's got a satellite dish and they watch all the movies that we watch here. That article is poorly researched.
 

Alienlane9X7

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I've had low self esteem most, if not all, of my life. I admit that openly.
I don't look like Burns1de, Andyo, No Strings, or Scared Little Boy. There are many other hot guys here too, those just came to mind. I'm not hung like they are either. I have no confidence around women. I don't even have confidence around men in a social setting. The only confidence I have is when it comes to working on stuff. If I see machinery in distress, I'll jump right on it. I usually just avoid social situations, if possible.

I always felt that IF I was really good looking and well endowed, that I would have confidence. Maybe I'm wrong. Just curious about this.








I feel you brother. For what it's worth... I'm above average in size and still have a lot of body image problems. I was teased for being skinny, and it still bothers me. Hope this helps.
 

HazelGod

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Yup. I'm a LOT more brazen in cyberspace than I am in meat-space.

In my younger days, I would have asked if you were f'ing kidding.

A bit more world-wise, I know you probably aren't. But I can sympathize with your post...I'm a bit more forward in the anonymity of this place than I would be IRL...but only a little, and only because I'm married. Believe me, were that not the case, I'd tease you like a teenaged Pentecostal girl with a can of AquaNet.