Primarily for other African-Americans, but input from others welcome...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by inkubus963, Mar 11, 2006.

  1. inkubus963

    inkubus963 Member

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    Hey all, I'm fairly new to the forum, and really love the support. I periodically encounter this boggling situation, and wondered if it happens to others:

    I'm an African-American man. I've inherited a reasonably generous genetic endowment from my father's side, if the swim outings with some of my uncles and cousins on that side are any indicator. I'm quite happy with my equipment, and I like the way it looks in relation to the rest of my body. I've encountered an odd sort of peculiarity from occasional partners, in that they've expressed surprise that I'm not even more endowed. I've even had one date terminate the encounter because he, a Caucasian, was better endowed than I! One man had the gall to inquire as to whether I was purely Black, and one of the few women in my past stated she was disappointed because she thought all men of color were in the double digits. While the men on my mother's side are more moderately equipped, none of them have confessed to hearing any similar complaints.

    Is this a normal circumstance? And does anyone have a suitable reply, other than my standard, abrupt departure?
     
  2. Chuck64

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    No thread title is gonna keep me from posting...

    What an ass! It's a good thing you didn't fuck him.

    I really don't have anything to contribute.
     
  3. inkubus963

    inkubus963 Member

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    I truly hope everyone feels welcomed to post, I just felt the subject matter was kinda restrictive. I would especially like to hear from the other side of the coin, if there are those who harbor any of those beliefs. I'm a firm believer in Freedom of Speech, even if those expressions may make me personally uncomfortable.
     
  4. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    I know that people are heavily swayed by the stereotypes that are inflicted on them throughout their lives, but even so, you seem to have had more than an unfair run of bad experiences. Are you having sex with especially stupid or culturally restricted people?
     
  5. inkubus963

    inkubus963 Member

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    Good point. I'd like to think that the people I choose are not particularly stupid, so I guess it's culture. I come from a small town, and now live in a rural town that pretends to be a metro, so I guess a lot of the old stereotypes haven't quite died out around here. Now that I think about it, none of those things happened to me in large cities. When I'm with other African-American men, there is no problem, other than the standard jockeying for dominance (still my favorite form of foreplay...), and I don't recall the situation arising during encounters with any other minority groups.

    Great thoughts, keep 'em coming!
     
  6. ChuckRich

    ChuckRich New Member

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    I'm a black guy and I've only had reactions similar to that chatting online, not in person. But only a very few people have had an opportunity to react to my penis in person. Some people buy into the myth that black guys are supposed to be huge so even if you are big, you might be smaller than they "expect. " Anybody stupid enough to reject you or question your ethnicity (unbelievably rude) because you're big but not double digits, is an idiot and not worthy of you or your cock.
     
  7. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    There's the unsubstantiated myth that black men are bigger that doesn't help your cause at all. You don't mention your size, but I assume by your statement, "I've inherited a reasonably generous genetic endowment from my father's side, if the swim outings with some of my uncles and cousins on that side are any indicator." that you're above average. It may be that you're not as "big" as you think, but that still doesn't excuse the actions you described from the "size queens" that you have enountered. I would never turn a guy out because he wasn't packing what I thought he should.
     
  8. inkubus963

    inkubus963 Member

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    Wow, it never occured to me that it could happen online!!! I think I took those two rejections so badly because I was drunk on both occasions, otherwise I surely would have noticed the signs that I had chosen partners poorly. The "lady" went so far as to spread gossip that I wasn't capable of arousing her, or able to maintain an erection. Fortunately, I was able to quickly correct that false data via that bearer of that tidbit of news... heh heh......:rolleyes:
     
  9. inkubus963

    inkubus963 Member

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    Sorry to seem prim, I got my coyness from my grandmother, a fine southern lady, and she would never approve of my speaking coarsely in public :smile: . You have surmised correctly regarding averages; like most rural young men with nothing else to do, we measured... with fresh produce. (well, THAT wasn't so coy...)

    My signature line is a wry look into what triggered this thread.
     
  10. chrisung

    chrisung New Member

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    I'm about to be unbelievably rude (but not to anyone here, I hope).

    Just tell 'em you don't sing and dance, don't like watermelon or fried chicken and you've got a mother not a mammy. Follow that with "oh and by the way get the hell out of my house you bigot".

    Shit, inkubus963, I feel for you. I really do. That shit is just f'ed up.

    I'm usually nice, but bigotry is one of my pet peeves (it should be everyone's imho).
     
  11. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    I'm happy to hear you kicked that guy's lily white ass to the curb (I can say that, see avatar). Anyone who thinks all black guys are supposed to be ginormous are either very naive, delusional or haven't had a very large sample size. It amazes me how some guys can be this cold and unthinking in the situations you describe.
     
  12. ChuckRich

    ChuckRich New Member

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    I've never understood the stereotype of black people liking fried chicken and watermelon. Not that I don't think we do. Just that as far as I can tell a lot of people from every demographic do. It's not like either of those is foods you're only likely to find in a soul food market or something. There are way more afrocentric foods to make a stereotype about so why about two foods that are rather universally liked? And I know you're just making fun of the stereotype not thinking that way yourself, chris.
     
  13. Bryan_Lyte2

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    Where ever you are living, move away now. Sometimes it's the location. I live in an small outskirts town and we are so ass backwards, and behind the times that it's not even funny. You need to find a place of extreme diversity, a place where there is so much going past ones eyes that all myths are busted wide open and people are open minded. I'm in the smae boat, but out here the myth is that all gay men are camp, wear feather boas, and a plus sized fag hag.:cool:
     
  14. chrisung

    chrisung New Member

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    Chuck - yeah. Being a lily-white guy who likes both watermelon and fried chicken I never understood it either. When I lived in Mississippi, though, I'd eat with Mississippian (also caucasian) friend who'd sometimes joke about the chicken and watermelon we were eating as " 'their' food ". But then I also learned to like ochra and collard greens.
     
  15. invisibleman

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    Amen to that! Bigotry is one big turn off to me as well.
     
  16. Sam Beckett

    Sam Beckett New Member

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    That's crazy. I spose you just have to move on to the next one when that happens. Hopefully it doesn't happen too often. I don't know what else to say...

    But if I were gay, or bi, and someone rejected me because of my cock I'd slap them with it :p hehe. Cos I'm kinky ;)
     
  17. Chuck64

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    Inkubus - Sorry to send your thread off on a tangent... It was meant to be interpreted as thinly veiled post-count padding. I'll try to behave from now on.
     
  18. GoneA

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    It should not overwhelm you learn that some people live in an impenetrable bubble. For whatever reason, they clinch with the Jaws of Life to preconceive ideas and notions about others not quite like themselves. Truthfully, the “us versus them” dichotomy in this world is so pervasive and has such a monopoly on people’s minds that I don’t think it will ever be completely obliterated.

    I can see why this has aggravated you so, especially considering the personal element of the issue at hand. Unfortunately, I can not tell you why some are this way, only that they are and more than likely this will not be the last time you find yourself in this sort of scene – only next time the actors will be different.

    My supposition: it’s easier to group people together based on physicality than it is to judge people based on their individuality and the character they exemplify. For now, the best thing you can do is continue living, shake people’s hands and remember to say ‘please and thank you’.
     
  19. invisibleman

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    I am an African (Invisible) American, hehehe. When you date people, you never know who or what you may find. I have had similar situations happen to me. I think that happens to everybody in some fashion (regardless of your race.). I just consider them "one of many stepping stones" to meeting the one right individual. There will be people who will totally love for you are and your penis. Be open to that, inkubus. Don't worry about or waste any time with those stupid people.
     
  20. Matthew

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    That is some fucked-up bullshit. :mad:

    Inkubus, I'm sorry you had to put up with such trifling fools. Sounds like it didn't get to you -- good for you.

    If someone is shallow enough to set a size limit for their partners, let them at least put it out there from jump, so they don't waste your time.

    And if racial stereotypes were chicken bones, then people could choke on them.
     
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