Private aftermath of premature ejaculation

[AlteredEgo]

My issues with PE were usually around the fact that I hadn't cum in a LONG time! Typically, it's when I haven't cum in like three or so months.

Yeah, I know...

Strange... Thanks for sharing.

 

[Ed69]

My issues with PE were usually around the fact that I hadn't cum in a LONG time! Typically, it's when I haven't cum in like three or so months.

Yeah, I know...

I was much the same, if sex was not almost daily say a week or more went by then the first round got fired off pretty fast.

 

[ronin001]

Sadly I approach most things with the mindset of Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well. So in the veryyyyyyyyyy rare occurrence, where I did not perform up to my normal capacity. I am sure I was far more hard and critical of myself than my partner was of me.

And no I am not talking 5 minutes and under, just time wise below where I feel the encounter was mutually fulfilling. for all.

 

[AlteredEgo]

My issues with PE were usually around the fact that I hadn't cum in a LONG time! Typically, it's when I haven't cum in like three or so months.

Yeah, I know...

I don't even remember making my initial response to your post. Lemme get a redo.

That makes perfect sense. There's nore pressure in the pipes, right? But what do you think abo

Sadly I approach most things with the mindset of Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well. So in the veryyyyyyyyyy rare occurrence, where I did not perform up to my normal capacity. I am sure I was far more hard and critical of myself than my partner was of me.

And no I am not talking 5 minutes and under, just time wise below where I feel the encounter was mutually fulfilling. for all.

I think most people understand that stuff happens. What do you do then? What do you say? Do you keep your self-condemnation to yourself?

 

[ronin001]

I don't even remember making my initial response to your post. Lemme get a redo.

That makes perfect sense. There's nore pressure in the pipes, right? But what do you think abo

I think most people understand that stuff happens. What do you do then? What do you say? Do you keep your self-condemnation to yourself?

Luckily even in the rare occurrence, There are soooooooooooooo many things people can do in bed; and there are so many other erogenous parts of a womans body, that be stimulated along with vaginal penetration. I would explore these other areas, hopefully wait 30 minutes till I recharge; and try again .

Even an NBA player can mess up a play, he gets over it and hopefully the next time he takes it to the rim and slam dunks it with both hands

 

[Nosuportneeded]

I don't even remember making my initial response to your post. Lemme get a redo.

That makes perfect sense. There's nore pressure in the pipes, right? But what do you think abo

I think most people understand that stuff happens. What do you do then? What do you say? Do you keep your self-condemnation to yourself?

I'll concur. Usually if it's been 24 hours or more, and I am comfortable with a partner, I have to make an effort not to cum sooner than I'd (we'd) like. Usually.

If I do go too soon, if anything, I am a bit to worried about trying to make up for it. Depends on the partner's mood too. Sometimes it's fine; sometimes I can read the slight frustration when I have to slow down or pull out often to not cum.

Nothing is more frustrating than bringing a partner to the edge of orgasm and not being able to push them over without blowing myself. Knowing that I can provide more pleasure but am limited is the motivation to get better at it. Age helps too.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

I don't even remember making my initial response to your post. Lemme get a redo.

That makes perfect sense. There's nore pressure in the pipes, right? But what do you think abo

I think most people understand that stuff happens. What do you do then? What do you say? Do you keep your self-condemnation to yourself?

Does there need to be self-condemnation? We all know premature ejaculation happens. But looking at the other side of the coin, if a woman is responsible for her own orgasm, why's it taking so long? Perhaps she should prolong foreplay until she is much closer to an easy orgasm. If there's a pattern going on, both partners should take an active role in solving this to their mutual satisfaction, rather than just automatically hanging a "reject" tag on the guy. Blame need not be assigned simply because of the failure...it should be held off until and unless one partner is refusing to take any responsibility for what should be a mutual problem.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Does there need to be self-condemnation? We all know premature ejaculation happens. But looking at the other side of the coin, if a woman is responsible for her own orgasm, why's it taking so long? Perhaps she should prolong foreplay until she is much closer to an easy orgasm. If there's a pattern going on, both partners should take an active role in solving this to their mutual satisfaction, rather than just automatically hanging a "reject" tag on the guy. Blame need not be assigned simply because of the failure...it should be held off until and unless one partner is refusing to take any responsibility for what should be a mutual problem.

I'm sorry, but under 5 minutes is not what I consider me not taking responsibility for my own orgasm. That's a control, or health issue on his part. Moreover, you may have gleaned from my earlier posts that the only times I was really wondering about are when a male partner ejaculates quickly, and then behaves oddly. That's why I keep asking questions about mindset and thought process. I'm not put off by random P.E. with a regular partner, or if it happens the first time out with a new partner. In the case of the former, past performance informs me that the P.E. is a fluke. In the case of the latter, I know we'll go again, especially if he continues with other activities during his refractory period. Additionally, I was not the one who brought up self-condemnation, though I was the one who used that word to describe it. Did you read the post to which I was responding? @ronin001 is the one who said he thinks he maybe far more critical of himself than the lady.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

I'm sorry, but under 5 minutes is not what I consider me not taking responsibility for my own orgasm. That's a control, or health issue on his part. Moreover, you may have gleaned from my earlier posts that the only times I was really wondering about are when a male partner ejaculates quickly, and then behaves oddly. That's why I keep asking questions about mindset and thought process. I'm not put off by random P.E. with a regular partner, or if it happens the first time out with a new partner. In the case of the former, past performance informs me that the P.E. is a fluke. In the case of the latter, I know we'll go again, especially if he continues with other activities during his refractory period. Additionally, I was not the one who brought up self-condemnation, though I was the one who used that word to describe it. Did you read the post to which I was responding? @ronin001 is the one who said he thinks he maybe far more critical of himself than the lady.

Yes, read it, and I'm asking "why self-condemnation" as a general question, not about you or ronin specifically. I just feel that the issue is too often blown out of proportion and too much emphasis is placed on making it a singular rather than a couples problem to solve.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Yes, read it, and I'm asking "why self-condemnation" as a general question, not about you or ronin specifically. I just feel that the issue is too often blown out of proportion and too much emphasis is placed on making it a singular rather than a couples problem to solve.

I think it's not usually a couples problem to solve. I have an ex who came very quickly when we first became physical because he was inexperienced. He bought a fleshlight, slowed down during masturbation, and eventually had a more ideal ability to prolong intercourse. It was something I could only be patient about, not resolve.

I think, or at least have experienced, that most men take it in stride. They either need to take a break together to recover and go again, or they find some other fun thing to initiate to keep the party going. Most men do not have P.E. as a chronic problem, nor do they freak out. I encountered what seemed like a lot of encounters in a row where the issue was present, and with all but two partners, it was a recurring situation. The one partner with whom I had a long history had already seen to my satisfaction, had literally been hit by a car the day before, and had never finished up early in previous engagements together. Because I knew he must be exhausted, I didn't let him even try to continue, but insisted he have some pain meds and a nap. One freaked out and wouldn't let me touch him, even just affectionately, ever again. All I did was hold his dick and move my hand four times. He's the reason I began to wonder what men think about when that happens. His response was so extreme, and we really could have been friends a long time if he had not reacted so very poorly.

It comes up in pop culture as a theme too. Pop culture teaches that it is shameful. I think it is possible that there's a chicken and egg thing there. Artists have experienced these ocurrances and feelings, and through various media, shared them with society. Other people who experience these things maybe would always have had... whatever thought processes they have, or perhaps have been influenced by exposure to media whoch suggest one should be embarassed, blamed, ashamed, or listen to some other negative inner monologue. I don't know. I'm not a man. I leave room for the notion that men do not have a moment during which they think less of themselves, but I know what I read on the faces of men, and in their behavior in the aftermath.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

It's a couples problem because it affects both partners. While the woman's (or other man's) role in working on this is more passive, it is necessary. I suspect the combination of goofy sitcom jokes and a less than patient partner would account for the bad reaction that guy had with you...or maybe he just had one thing too many go wrong in his life.

 

[AlteredEgo]

It's a couples problem because it affects both partners. While the woman's (or other man's) role in working on this is more passive, it is necessary. I suspect the combination of goofy sitcom jokes and a less than patient partner would account for the bad reaction that guy had with you...or maybe he just had one thing too many go wrong in his life.

If it's just sex, it's not my job to help fix it. All I'm willing to do is be encouraging and flirty. If it's jist sex and it keeps happening, I'm out. Not all pairings are couples.

If it isn't chronic, it's not my problem. There is nothing I can do other than keep my face neutral, and be encouraging.

If it is a health matter causing it, it's not my problem to solve. I am totally incapable of forcing another person to be well, being neither doctor nor sorceress.

 

[5104]

If premature means orgasming before the woman, most of the time, I wouldn't know. I was never sure if the woman orgasmed or not, even on occasions when I lasted a very very long time unless she told me she didn't. If she was quiet or said she did, I couldn't be sure.

Of course, I knew when I couldn't control how long I lasted and orgasmed involuntarily. That was definitely premature and usually happened when I was really impressed with the woman and, therefore, was unable to impress her. Women who said they orgasmed were either clearly lying or, if I thought maybe they did, were women that didn't really impress me, but were impressed by me.

I always assumed the woman knew what was up in all this and I didn't. Is this fucked-up or what!?? I use past tense because I am old and probably won't have sex any time soon, if ever!

 

[5104]

Oh, oh. I never thought about this before, but do some women say on occasion they didn't orgasm when actually they did. . . too complex!??

 

[sodominsane]

in the cases of that you described....you must give amazing hand job....me personally usually once i get hard i cum pretty quick...but stay hard for like three or four times.....if you don't like cum it can be super messy

strangle i rarely treat anyone different after sex encounter.......that awkwardness people encounter....i am just not wired that way....

so if i did have a bad PE....I'd probably joke about it....like..."whoa got a bit excited there....next time ya see that coming...help me out on the breaks....team effort ...team effort"

after...well i am a snuggler...and if you need a hard dick to please a woman....well your just unimaginative....so game on....tease lick please time..mental game is paramount

next day ...same as normal

 

[5104]

I am totally incapable of forcing another person to be well, being neither doctor nor sorceress.

I think you are a sorceress!

Seriously, what if the guy cums prematurely because he is unusually impressed with you and the guys that last, last because they aren't?

 

[5104]

] me personally usually once i get hard i cum pretty quick...but stay hard for like three or four times.....if you don't like cum it can be super messy

That would definitely be "the way to be." Unfortunately, some of us don't function that way. . . though some say it can be learned. Sounds like that "staying hard" came naturally to you, however.

 

[stretch8888]

Fortunately ive always been blessed with amazing stamina and control but i have had a few cases where i blew my load embarrassingly quick.

First one that comes to mind

I had just broken up with my GF, things had been rough for months and the sex was really the only reason we dragged it out and that had even become boring and unsatisfying. There was this woman she knew that had a not so secret thing for me, Blonde hair blue eyes big tits and a big ass total knock out, no surprise she starts texting me within days of me being single, i knew we would hook up sooner than later, she tried getting me out to the bar on the weekend but i talked her into coming to my place. We both knew how the night was going to play out, we put on a movie and almost immediately started fooling around, we fooled around for probably 20-30mins, i was already nervous about cumming too soon so i grabbed a thicker condom, put it on and she started riding me cowgirl, i blew my load in minutes, i was a little embarrassed but told her i couldn't help myself, she was cool about it, we started going at it again and i was able to redeem myself.

Second time that comes to mind

A FWB had recently finalized her divorce, we had an affair and had become very familiar in bed a few years prior, she always joked that aside from my size she kept sleeping with me cause i could go for a long time and always get her off. We had reconnected and she started texting me one night that she wanted me to come over, unfortunately i was busy and couldnt but that didnt stop her from sending very sexual texts and pictures in an effort to change my mind. The following night she was at it again, she was staying at her parents though so she wanted me to come pick her up, she told me to drive to a park down the road, she gave me road head as we drove, we found a spot with some privacy and we both got in the passenger seat, she slipped her pants off and straddled me, now we had always wore condoms to conceal the evidence, i hadn't had sex in a few weeks so when she decided to take me bareback i knew i was done, i manage only a few thrusts before cumming, that time i wasnt overly embarrassed, she knew i was good for more and we ended up returning to her parents and going to their barn, where we fucked several times before calling it a night.


Shit happens, no point in worrying about it.

 

[Mike hung]

Honestly never suffered from this @AlteredEgo , I even remain hard until busting my 3rd or 4th load tbh although I can settle after 2 times if necessary.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I think you are a sorceress!

Seriously, what if the guy cums prematurely because he is unusually impressed with you and the guys that last, last because they aren't?

What if it isn't? I'm really more interested in men sharing accounts from their lives than in blind speculation.

If premature means orgasming before the woman,

It means very quickly by any reasonable standard. Medical folks say within a specific time, one minute, I think. If you see some of my cited examples of what I've encountered, I mean almost instantly in some cases.