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See, this is exactly why I don't like PMs until I get to know someone. Clearly, jonb is NOT happy about your pestering, why on Earth would you assume he wants to chat? That's pretty obnoxious, if you ask me. If you ask someone out and they say "You're getting on my nerves", you don't counter with "so, when's the date?"
Those of us who post a lot can sometimes get deluged by PMs from people we don't know at all who know a great deal about us, it's creepy. Those who don't post as frequently don't experience this, so they are usually not as standoffish. If you PM someone and they don't respond, they are not interested in a behind the scenes communication, I certainly am not. Unless a person is willing to be as open as I am being by posting my thoughts in public, I have no interest at all in playing "getting to know you" in private. Put up or shut up, as far as I am concerned.
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I understand what you are saying completely but I wanted to offer a different point of view. First of all, those who post are the ones allowing people to know things about them, and the posters are letting be known exactly what they want known. To me, that's the same argument that celebrities use, "I just want a private life." Fine, get out of the public eye. It seems closed minded to not want to talk to anyone who isn't open, not everyone is. Personally, I have been a member of this site for a time and while I am very open I don't post unless I feel like I have something to say. I have seen several members with thousands of posts, many of which are thoughtless one word posts, or conversations with one person only. Those conversations seem better suited for IM. Finally, how many posts does it take for a person to become valid and worth talking to? It's not difficult to make random statements to build ones response catalogue.
Please, M Zora do not interpret this as a personal attack, but rather a different opinion on a somewhat cavalier attitude. As a vocal woman, I could only imagine the horid shit that you must sift through. Myself, I have only had a few IM's that I fielded accordingly, and would be frusterated with diarrhea of the mouth. But to dismiss those of us who don't have thousands of posts is rather closed minded for one who seems so forward thinking and continually offering interesting and useful thoughts.
Sorry just wanted to rant a bit...