Problem maintaining Erection

[Finker]

I think the subject line sums up my problem. But I can't begin to express how devastated and heartbroken I feel.

This started happening to me about a year ago. Usually when I'm with a girl I like the whole romantic kissing, touching, breathing on each other stuff and it really gets me going. First few thrusts of penetration are ok, then I go limp. It's not a mental thing. However I do masturbate quite often and am used to gripping it hard and grabbing my balls with my other hand.

Last night I was with a very beautiful girl that many would consider model'ish. I failed miserably.
I'm scared, sad and concerned and I'm only 30 yrs old :frown1:

Hope I can hear from anyone who can help.
~sad guy

 

[Frodo46888]

Get up the courage to admit your problem to your doctor. ED can affect young guys, too, and Viagra-type meds work. There is also the possibility of some underlying condition that should be treated promptly, so don't put it off. An orgasm is a lovely thing, so don't miss out on them!

 

[Aqua666]

I feel for you dude. Something similar happened to me a couple of months back with a one night stand, then with a girl I had a small thing with. I just couldn't get it up. I got it semi-hard, but that's about it. I had myself STD tested and went to the doctor, but nothing seems to be wrong. I'm trying to cut down on masterbating, but unfortunatly I don't have a regular sexual partner so I've no idea if my "problem" is cured yet. I think a porn overload has basically fucked up my sexual desire or something.

 

[Finker]

Thanks for your replies guys.
I really appreciate it. I've gone about 4 days now without masturbation. I honestly think it's been the longest period since a very very very long time. This is coming from someone who masturbated AT LEAST 3 times a day for the past 10 years. I guess your body really changes when you hit 30
I'm going to just continue like this for as long as I can and see where it leads me.
Going to the Doc at the moment isn't something I really feel comfortable doing, call it ignorance.
I think it would be nice if this forum could also focus on ways we could maintain our sexual health, but I Guess that's really hard since we most come visit this forum to talk about sex and masturbate to begin with.

 

[heynowww]

Yeah unfortunately i hear ya's... tonight i was having problems again with this couple (she's sooo cute) id get hard as a rock to begin with while she was sucking us off, more foreplay and i was good, but started getting a little soft after a little vag.. after getting it hard again, it started withering down again, softer and softer. it took her some time to get it hard again, only after finding that one spot with her tounge.. you know, right below the head on the bottom? haha anyways, ill get to the point ..
So I too am 30, i kinda notice that my horniness goes in phases.. there are days that ill get off before work, after work and again, getting hard ons all the time during the day, and my head is in the gutter all day. This lasts maybe a week, then i go to a low where i might not get a hard on all day if i dont try. lasts a week or two, keeps cycling.
I wish i knew how to control this.
Erection strength is determined by a few things, like circulation, diet, health, and so on. I was tired today, i dont allow myself enough sleep. so thats my own fault. there are things to watch out for in your diet, and things that will benefit you. I'd like to re-learn these things if anyone could help.
Oh yeah, ive heard of breathing excersizes that help erection staying power? anyone know about this?

 

[heynowww]

oh and aqua, my thoughts exactly with the porn overload.. dont have a regular girl right now so porn it is.. and i think thats a big part of it for me

 

[B_Jordan85]

i know where your coming from. its quite depressing and very easy to fall into this slump. for me a lot has to do with psyching myself out about performance, meaning that I anticipate her being wowed by my cock, i want to show it to her so much that it renders me impotent. I have been looking into viagra and other pills/aids.

also, jerk off less. when I leave myself alone the area becomes sensitive again, so in this case will be more sensitive to a woman's touch.

other things to consider is asking yourself "am i really attracted to this girl." yes, she might be a model and very "hot" but sometimes certain things girls say or do can be a complete turnoff. what is a big turn-on is that exclusive feeling between a couple. if I dont feel like she really likes me, then it doesnt matter how much of a model material she is, im going to have difficulty getting it up.

i used to know this hot girl who was always all over me, but she never gave me a nice compliment, actually pointed out on several occasions how my "stomach was soft" and i was " a bit chubby." this rendered me impotent for all future meeting between the two of us. now if she gave me compliments and made me feel good then this would be a different story.. funny this is that she claimed my erection looked average under my boxers, i tried to tell her I was never hard infront of her, she was looking at my flaccid.

 

[kumakan]

this is my only second posting here but I thought I'd share my two cents because I recently went through this... and fixed myself.

This is my own personal experience so in no way am i saying it'll work for you or fix your problems.

A year ago I started dating the girl that everyone wanted. Hot body, model face. Now I usually get the girls I find the most attractive. But I really digged this girl... probably because everyone wanted her. Sex was amazing because she was a squirter and it turned me on like crazy cause she just loved when I pounded her. Now this relationship lasted about 8-9 months. We ended for dumb reasons and then I started dating around again and noticed I had erection problems. I started getting pissed off.

Now prior to this girl I was really into I worked out normally n was in great shape. After her I started over doing it... I was tired and my body felt like it was always in a state of healing. When I tried to have sex I literally would get hard for a couple minutes... then go limp from pure exhaustion.
I stopped working out. I was upset and depressed. So I stopped and hoped that it'd help. It didn't.

For the last couple months I've started dating this beautiful girl and have had no problems... why you ask. Well I started to go to the gym again. I use to do a lot of body building with minimumal cardio. I switched it up to do full body work outs keeping my heart rate at a high enough pace that its the same thing as cardio. I do cardio on my off days.
Now to top this off I started taking vitamin pills everyday. The first ocuple days i took the pills i felt better like i was missing somehting. So I thought I was missing vitamins so I started taking two pills a day... I know that sounds dumb but you know what. It worked for me and I still do it to this day.
I eat healthy more or less and snack out occasionally but stay in shape and take my vit pills everyday. And everything is back to normal.

Guys try some cardio or full body exercising, take vitamins everyday. My reasoning for this was since something is wrong with our body that we must be missing something. Either healthy exercise or somethign in my diet. So try it out. It couldnt hurt right? =)

Gluck and I hope things work out for you guys. I honestly do.

 

[heynowww]

well thanks, Kumakan.. just what i needed to hear, cardio and diet, or in ur case vitamins. I work for a living so im exhausted sometimes, like last night, and i eat crappy food and not really often enough either. and if i had better cardio endurance, well i know id feel better, and the rest falls into place. The same holds true for PE.. its kinda not gonna work if ur not living healthy.

 

[jacenx]

breathing polluted air doesn't help either and the worst of all, tobacco smoke.

You are from Seoul and the polluted air comes from China.