Problem Nephew living with me.

basque9

LPSG Legend
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 1, 2006
Posts
6,056
Media
9,165
Likes
280,365
Points
618
Location
Maryland, United States of America
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
If all else fails, consider getting yourself out of your house either by selling it or by having your landlord agree to evict you! Then, you leave and move into another place without your beloved nephew in tow! Where he goes seems not any of your concern.
 
6

693987

Guest
If all else fails, consider getting yourself out of your house either by selling it or by having your landlord agree to evict you! Then, you leave and move into another place without your beloved nephew in tow!

I had to do that with an ex of mine. He had been living with me, but not contributing any financial assistance of any sort. He also wasn't on the lease. I had tried to get him to move out, without having to try and get anything official/legal done, but it hadn't worked. I told him I was moving in a month and he wasn't moving with me. Unfortunately the bastard followed/stalked me to my new place. He was a total creep as well as sending me texts/emails/leaving letters saying I was a cold-hearted-bitch for not letting him mooch off of me some more. Ugh.
 

str821

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Posts
142
Media
22
Likes
1,158
Points
523
Location
Washington (Washington, D.C., United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
You have tenancies (leasehold and fee simple as to the land and mobile home respectively) that entitle you to exclude all others, except as specified by your lease and allowed o be so specified by statute, from the premises. Your nephew is a licensee, which means that his only right to be on the premises flows from your permission. Once your permission was withdrawn, your nephew had no right to stay beyond the time necessary for him to collect his belongings and see to their storage or disposal. He is a trespasser.

If the police are unwilling to remove your nephew to enforce the criminal trespassing laws against him, which they should do, you will have to go to your local court of first instance that handles landlord-tenant and related matters and file a civil action for ejectment. You should not need a lawyer for this. You should be provided with a complaint form by the clerk's office, and you should be given a court date. On the court date, show up with evidence that you own the trailer and lease the land. Enter your documents into evidence, testify that they are authentic, and tell the judge how long you have owned the trailer and leased the land. Describe the circumstances under which your nephew came to stay with you and the behavior that caused you to want to get rid of him. Testify that you ordered your nephew to leave, and say when you ordered him to leave. The court will issue an order ejecting your nephew, and the sheriff will be willing to enforce that.

Good luck.
 

lafever

Superior Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2007
Posts
4,934
Media
28
Likes
2,755
Points
333
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
This is what you do, take him to small claims court for the months he hasn't paid and have him court ordered to pay what he owes, If you can't beat him then atleast make him accountable.
Small claims court is cheaper than an eviction and goes where it hurts the most, his wallet.
An eviction can take much longer and can get very expensive, especially if he gets the housing authority involved.
He could end up costing you thousands of dollars in home repairs.
Just take him to small claims court and let the judge force him into sanity.
Maybe then he'll grow up, after all he is family and If you can help him break the vicious cycle he's gotten comfortable with then you've fullfilled your part in helping him.
If he doesn't get his act together then you're still helping him by getting him to his bottom faster, when he runs out of bridges to cross and he's stranded himself on an island of isolation then he'll have no choice but to look at his actions and the effect it's had on not only himself but others.
Non-family members will not tolerate his actions, especially a judge and he might need a little dose of reality of how the rest of us live.
Sometimes nothing you do will help until he's left to his own devices, family can sometimes love each other to death.
If he's court ordered to pay you what he owes you in rent and he doesn't then he's not breaking your rules he's breaking the law, he might not be scared of you but I know he'll sing a different tune when the sheriff comes knocking on the door to take him to jail for not carrying out a judges ruling, good luck!
 
Last edited:

str821

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Posts
142
Media
22
Likes
1,158
Points
523
Location
Washington (Washington, D.C., United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
I think there are some ill-informed posters who have overgeneralized anecdotal experience. This is not a situation that implicates the law of landlord and tenant. The nephew is NOT a tenant; he is not a squatter; he has not acquired any rights by prescription. He is a guest who has overstayed his welcome -- in law, a licensee turned trespasser. He is certainly not going to get any housing authority or court to order that any repairs be made, unless he reports building code violations that are visible from the exterior to the municipal government as anyone could.

As I said, in the first place, the police ought to be willing to remove him and charge him with trespassing if they are called. First, try calling the police. If they make up something about the nephew receiving mail or claim that he is entitled to reside in the trailer on the basis of some inertial theory of property rights, try calling the local prosecutor's office. If the authorities are not willing to help (because prosecuting and removing trespassers is not a high priority for them, even if they say something bogus), an ejectment action would likely be simple and inexpensive, rather unlike the landlord-tenant eviction experiences that other posters are describing.

Everything I have said was my informed gut reaction to the fact pattern presented, but I confirmed my reaction based on what is generally the case in American law by researching Florida law before writing my first post. To those who are inclined to write more anecdotal nonsense: look up "tenancy."
 
Last edited:

lafever

Superior Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2007
Posts
4,934
Media
28
Likes
2,755
Points
333
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I think there are some ill-informed posters who have overgeneralized anecdotal experience. This is not a situation that implicates the law of landlord and tenant. The nephew is NOT a tenant; he is not a squatter; he has not acquired any rights by prescription. He is a guest who has overstayed his welcome -- in law, a licensee turned trespasser. He is certainly not going to get any housing authority or court to order that any repairs be made, unless he reports building code violations that are visible from the exterior to the municipal government as anyone could.

As I said, in the first place, the police ought to be willing to remove him and charge him with trespassing if they are called. First, try calling the police. If they make up something about the nephew receiving mail or claim that he is entitled to reside in the trailer on the basis of some inertial theory of property rights, try calling the local prosecutor's office. If the authorities are not willing to help (because prosecuting and removing trespassers is not a high priority for them, even if they say something bogus), an ejectment action would likely be simple and inexpensive, rather unlike the landlord-tenant eviction experiences that other posters are describing.

Everything I have said was my informed gut reaction to the fact pattern presented, but I confirmed my reaction based on what is generally the case in American law by researching Florida law before writing my first post. To those who are inclined to write more anecdotal nonsense: look up "tenancy."
You must live in a law book because the op has stated that he'd already taken money for rent but that's all he's gotten.
Quote,Post #10:I have received about 550 dollars from his step dad in almost the 6 months he's been here..
rayray
Once you accept money it changes everything.

* sips coffee, leans back, wonders if young poster has real life experiences or just the ones he's read in a book or online, contiplates if he even knows how the real world works or if he even reads all the posts *
 
Last edited:

1Cody

Expert Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2010
Posts
528
Media
0
Likes
135
Points
188
Location
Oklahoma (United States)
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
He is taking advantage of you. This might fit the description of elderly or at least disabled exploitation. Call the adult protective services in your area. I am sure they can give you some guidance on the exact legal steps that you need to take. If they believe you are a victim, it shouldn't cost you any money. In fact, your nephew could face criminal charges. The exploitation charge has to fit a legal definition, so get all the information about exactly what that involves before you say anything incriminating against him. Whatever you allege has to fit the category. Good Luck. I also know how draining this can be on you emotionally and mentally. I put up with a drunk friend for several years and his negativity, anger, and sabatoge literally ruined my life. After losing a good job, I relocated for 2 yrs to make a complete break with him. He still calls me up drunk and cusses me out. I hang up on him immediately, but it still makes me feel ugly inside for a second or two. I don't think you can rescue a 42yo that is stubborn, but in the meantime contact Al anon that is for your sanity and it will provide you a group of friends to support you. Then get AA literature and lay it out and even suggest he read it.
 

thebesthotsex

Cherished Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Posts
370
Media
9
Likes
467
Points
393
Location
NYC
Verification
View
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Male
Make him go to therapy. He is definitely being plagued with more issues than just moving out. There are many community agencies out there that give free or low-fee counseling.
 

Hoss

Loved Member
Joined
Aug 22, 2010
Posts
11,801
Media
2
Likes
586
Points
148
Age
73
Location
Eastern town
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
First off i am on disability due to various health problems..I had my 42 YO Nephew move in with me on August 15th 2011. He had a good business selling military memorabilia on the internet that started to tank due to the economy.He has been divorced for 2 years from a 16 year marriage. I knew he had a problem with the bottle in the past..I own a mobile home and my lot rent is only 300 dollars.My expenses are not huge just for me.I took him in because he could no other place to go.He is my oldest brothers son who is no longer with us.To the point,he has not worked since he moved in, he drinks in his bedroom and is a habitual liar.I knew i couldnt get him out by the police because he receives mail here.In one our view arguments i mentioned i'd call the police to get him out and he said i couldnt, i knew that i just wanted to see if he'd use that answer,which he did..Does anyone have any suggestions ?

You are the owner of the trailer, your name is on the agreement for rental of the lot where it sits. Unless he has made payments to you and you've furnished him with receipts he probably doesn't have any real rights to be there. Check with legal aid (google search "legal aid) there are plenty out there for low income persons.

His getting mail delivered doesn't really mean much in most courts of law since even I could have some mail sent to your address, that doesn't make me a tenant.

His drinking is a problem which he will have to deal with, he picks the bottle over responsibility and you keep allowing it by not moving forward to have him removed.

Contact Legal Aid, call the cops, do whatever it takes. His mom and stepdad need to get involved as well. Besides which, he is 42 years old he needs to grow up and yank up his own suspenders.
 

sexplease

Cherished Member
Joined
Oct 23, 2006
Posts
1,706
Media
5
Likes
257
Points
303
Location
Santa Monica (California, United States)
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
depending on your local laws, you'll have to serve him eviction notice. Your local DA or City Hall will supply you with the proper paper work to get started.
You shouldn't be unhappy in your home... especially from relatives.
your other choices may include: moving or inviting someone to stay whom he can't stand.

Think positive thoughts. I had to show eviction papers to a friend who wouldn't leave my place. Just showing him the papers and coming home with boxes I bought for him got him out.
 

mephistopheles

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 27, 2006
Posts
1,292
Media
51
Likes
141
Points
208
Location
Hell
Sexuality
69% Gay, 31% Straight
Gender
Male
I've had similar issues with my family in the past; my brother to be specific.
I know what you're going through.... You want to help him out but he doesn't want it right now.

The best medicine for jhim is to get tossed out and get a taste of that harsh reality again.

I'm from a family of boozers and I'll say most people don't change or seek change until they hit rock bottom. I'm not saying to push him there of course, he has to get there on his own.

Either that or intervention, he obviously has some problems and drinking will only make it worse-- I'm sure if you get down to the tender nerves of it all he might listen to you or at least have your words rolling around in his noggin.

It's a sticky situation and I wish you luck in any case.
 

curiouslady

1st Like
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Posts
91
Media
0
Likes
1
Points
41
Location
Denver (Colorado, United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Turn off the Air-conditioning to his room - in fact to every room but the one you are in - I figure in May he will leave - trailer's can get to 125 degrees pretty easily - (in fact you could put on the a/c NOW and freeze him out!)

I disagree that he is a tenent - Mail or NO mail - I think he is a "guest" and as such must leave. YOU own the trailer - Your name is on the trailer lot rental agreement - he is a GUEST!

You could also go to Post office and demand he be removed from mail being dropped off at your place. Fill out a "forwarding address" and put his name on it (print his name - don't sign his name) and then the mail will quit coming to your address. I'd forward mail to local insanity hospital LOL!
 

curiouslady

1st Like
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Posts
91
Media
0
Likes
1
Points
41
Location
Denver (Colorado, United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Ahhh I thought of another idea:

1. You are on disability and your meds are "disappearing." Call Social Services.
2. Additionall if you are a "senior" he can go to jail because he is endangering YOUR LIFE. Florida has some type of "Senior Advocate Service" which will step in - Abusing a senior person in Florida is BIG TIME trouble...jail time in fact. That is one way to help him get sober!